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Wednesday, January 09, 2013

I'm Not Compassionate

Did you know that?  I'm not compassionate.  Occasionally I am, given the right set of circumstances and people.  I'm not overly touchy-feely.  Nor wishy-washy.  I don't put up with excuses or delays or blah blah blah.  I call things as I see them, verbally many times.  And on my face and in my emotions other times.

I had an encounter over the transition into the new year -- which I'm calling Lucky '13 by the way.  The encounter was unexpected and completely out of the blue.  I was told that I'm not compassionate and that some people will spend their lives trying to earn my approval.  My approval is hard to come by, just for the record.  I actually don't even consider those sorts of thoughts except on a very rare basis.  But that's the problem, apparently.  I don't consider it.

I'm just me.  Black and white.  Sensible.  Able to see processes and procedures easily and am not enamored with diversions to get where I'm going.  I would say that more than half of the world is in the way of where I want to go.  Not a lot of fluff or patting on the back.  I'm a get things done sort of guy.  If you want a problem solved, you'll come to me.  If you want to simply talk about solving a problem, you won't come to me.  I expect everyone to pull themselves up by the boot straps and stay focused.  I know, I know....a big ethereal sort of nonrealistic vision.  But I'm relatively comfortable right there. 

So I start Lucky '13 with a new set of accusations.  Ones that I've known about for a very long time.  Ones, even, that I think about from time to time.  None of the finger-pointing at me was a surprise.  You see, I have lived with myself for nearly 51 years now.  I know myself quite well.  And I'm nearly completely comfortable there.  But these things do cause a moment for pause and reflection.  And when the new year is still so fresh, reflection is paramount. 

7 comments:

cb said...

I'm right there with you. People thing mean and have no heart, etc. when it's just that I have a low BS threshold and tend toward a lack of compassion.

Tough titty, I say.

Dave2 said...

I'm compassionate about what I want to be compassionate about. That's not a lot now-a-days... people being what they are and all.

J.P. said...

Don't change a thing. I'm like Dave, compassionate about what I want to be compassionate about.

anne marie in philly said...

compassion for genuine hurting people? yes.

compassion for people like octomom? fuck no!

I see thru the bullshit. a person's poor decisions in life (like octomom's) do not deserve my attention, money, or time.

Ur-spo said...

I for one was glad to see you posting, and hope you will do more often in 2013.

I want to reread your thoughtful post later when I am not so tired. I sense you are saying some profound things here.

Bill M said...

Lewis, great to see you here again. I was thinking of you last week -- when I flew from SFO to SEA :-) -- and hoped that you were doing well after all of the medical issues this past fall.

I hear you about compassion (or supposed lack of it). I'm by nature kind and patient (I'm an educator by trade) and will gladly go the extra mile, e.g. for deserving, responsible students. But I don't waste energy and goodwill on those that don't give a s**t.

Rick said...

Is it pc to be touch feely these days? I used to be. It took me years to break myself of the habit. It wasn't about caring but my immaturity. I'd like to think I'm compaasionate and caring but sometimes I wonder.
I like you just the way you are.