47 Years Ago Today

Forty-seven years ago today, my Momma pushed me outta her......well, you know....her thingy. And life hasn't been the same since. For her nor anyone who knows me. I've failed many, I've succeeded in pleasing others. I've been a good partner and a terrible husband. All at the same time. I just told my husband over dinner that he's been with me right from the time I was coming out and into a new age for myself. He's been there the whole time. I've met so many new people, experienced more things than I could count, and am planning on keeping it up in the future. I love my life. I love you. All of you. So, today, it's my birthday and I celebrate not only my many years on this earth, but you....each of you -- because you've helped make me who I am. Each of you, in your own way.

Now that the sentimental shittola is out of the way, who wants to spank me? Forty-seven whacks, please. Or you can smear birthday cake batter on me and lick it off if you'd prefer.
Or, you can send cash along -- or just bring the cash with you when you come to paddle my arse. Excuse me, would you please, while I go and huff, and puff, and (hopefully) blow out all of my candles.

The Repeated Struggle

Why is it that sometimes we want more for others than they want for themselves? I know that you understand exactly the plane from which I'm operating.....you see someone and their struggle and you want it to be different for them than it is. Sometimes it changes, many times it does not. No matter what happens, they seem to keep on dealing with the same issues over and over, year after year. In fact, in some situations, they actually appear to LIKE their circle of dysfunction. Hubby and I have had this conversation many times in our 12 years together. Someone drinks too much and we wish they'd not do so. Someone else struggles with being overweight -- they talk about it, pretend to try and eat well, they even talk about other people who are overweight -- and yet they change nothing. Their unhealthiness continues. And others are left to wish they could get their head and heart around their situation and get a handle on it once and for all. Or possibly a friend who is in the closet tries and tries to get out of it. But their family or friends or "situation" just precludes them from doing so. And people like us who are around them wish and hope and dream that they could be true to themselves -- but we know that they never will....they'll go to their graves with a secret. Or what about those who just never seem to have enough money to pay for their own way to dinner or the things in their lives that they not only need, but want. But on the other hand, they have plenty of money when it comes time for spending it in ways that we may not choose to. Or those that go to counseling year after year after year -- only to never get ahead. The same struggle they faced ten years ago is still with them today. And how about those who seem to exude gloom and doom whenever you're around them....they suck the life right out of you. You may even give them a magazine article or special book meant to help bring new light to their situation....but, "no thanks"....they don't want it. They actually appear to love the negative life they lead. I'm here to say that I hate the repeated gloom and doom. Hate. It.

You know full well that there are folks in their lives, like us, who wish and hope and pray for a different level of happiness in their lives. We want their struggle to stop. We even get sick and tired of hearing about it throughout the years, don't we? I know I do. It's like we'd almost like them to stop talking about the situation if they aren't willing to do anything about it. You can look right into their lives and know that if they did this or that, they'd be so much better off. It's easy to diagnose, simple to spot, and yet they can't seem to.

Possibly they are happy. I'm doubting that it's true in a very high percentage of cases, but it is possible, I will concede. I have a hard time thinking that anyone could be truthfully happy while struggling through their entire lives. But then there is this thing that we focus on in yoga from time to time -- that we develop the ability to see the good and the light in others. Namaste. And that, kids, is one hell of a big job sometimes. I think it's going to be an ongoing journey for me. I'll bet that hubby and I will still be having this conversation many years from now. Wishing and hoping the best for others, even if they can't get to it for themselves.

Clearing Out My Mobile Photos

Straight? Um, yeah...you just keep on believing that.









Who is that behind those Foster Grants?










Yentil??

A Pair of Deuces.

Me, My Easter Bonnet, and My Patient Husband.

And My New Easter Coat.

Valentine's Day in Seattle With Friends

It's a good looking group, eh? This is the handsome men that I spent Valentine's Day lunch with in Seattle....at the Cheesecake Factory. Oh my gosh, the food was so delicious....my caramel chicken was to die for. I had met Chris from My 2 Cents before but I was virgin to meeting A Rad Homo and his hubby. We had a great time, as I expected. I have to remark, again, how wild it is when you meet a blogger that you've had an online relationship with for a while....and then you meet and it's like you've known one another for years. You know all sorts of things about them, you know what they look like the moment they walk through the door, about their work, which kind of wrinkle cream they use, and all sorts of other essential items. It was so comfortable and like we were right in one of our living rooms. We chatted about bloggers that we know and love, ones that we don't, our families, our history and pasts, our pets, the jobs we work at from day to day, yoga, and cruising (no, not THAT kind). Boys, I loved our time together. And we'll definitely have to do it again. Thanks so much for making time for me.

Valentine's Day 2009

Well, it's the very week that, in 1962, I was supposed to have been born. Valentine's Day, to be horribly specific. Now, for those of you who know me in person, you know full well that I needed the extra five days of sweetening up in the oven. And, even then, five days probably wasn't enough. I could use a little more sugar, quite frankly. It's one of my favorite times of the year....not only because I get to turn the page on the calendar of my life for the 47th time, but it's a sort of quiet time of year -- at work and everywhere else. The weather seems to tantalize us a bit with a hint of better weather. And, yes, I've even spotted a few bulbs trying to poke their way out of the frozen earth. My honey is not feeling very well and that always concerns me -- especially when I'm leaving town. And I'm leaving tomorrow for a three-day trip with overnights in Las Vegas and Seattle. In fact, Seattle is where you'll find me on "the holiday." Meeting up with my old perverted blogger buddy from My 2 Cents and finally being able to meet A Rad Homo. (If there is anyone else in Las Vegas or Seattle that would like to meet up with us, email me pronto.) What a great way to spend Valentine's Day. No, seriously...I'm looking forward to it in spite of not being able to be at home with the love of my life. In fact, I'm not sure if My 2 Cents knows it or not, but it was nearly exactly the same day last year that we actually met for the first time.

The roses I ordered for hubby arrived this morning just as I was stepping out of the shower. I had to leave him something to remind him of my love. Yoga and the gym are moving along swimmingly. And today, I received my first birthday card (seems that the cash that was to be included had somehow not been). The pooch got a new toy today and some new food that I hope will reduce his need for scratching wounds into the sides of his cute little head. He is now back to having that cute little plastic cone on his head and having Neosporin and some anti-itch cream smeared onto his sore. Poor little thing.

So, if you're in love, great...I wish you a beautiful Valentine's Day. If you're not, the day will pass quickly and you'll be on to Arbor Day or some other nearly insignificant holiday soon. Besides that, I'm sure -- nearly positive -- that someone in your life loves you even though they may not send you flowers or cards or chocolate. Look for it.

Umm, Yeah -- Anyone?

Chillin' On a Monday

The dog has crapped, the Smart Heart cereal with blueberries and almonds has been eaten, slugged down some coffee and OJ, and indulged in 1/2 of a grapefruit and now on the way out the door into a cold winter morning on my way to lift a bit, run a little, and chill in an hour of yoga. I'm not sure if everyone takes pictures of themselves before they go to the gym, but something came over me....I couldn't resist. And lunch with my friend Todd will be the topper to the day...except when my honey returns this afternoon from Seattle....that's the real icing on the proverbial virtual cake.

Undie Monday Valentine's Style

It's the season of love and all of that crap. So, hubby and I did a little artsy-fartsy craft project and came up with this very cheesy shot. Check out the rest of today's selections at Idol Eyes and a Dormy's Undie Monday for Valentine's week!

Doubt

Do you ever have doubts? We've just returned from a totally unexpected movie....Doubt. I had no idea. I mean, we are so not mainstream anything.....we rarely see movies, know music, shows, actors, etc. So, here we end up at this movie. If you've ever struggled with doubt in your life, the lack of facts or no facts in a challenging situation, or suspicion it'll hit you right between the eyes. And if you've encountered the more ethereal emotions of compassion and kindness, you'll easily see yourself in this film. Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman can do no wrong.

Ahhh, Isn't That Nice

Lookie what I spotted in our employee parking lot at work today as I was high-tailing it out of there. I actually put the car in reverse, backed up, and got out in the rain to snap this. Poor little thing, she doesn't know any better. Hehehehe.

TGIF Double Tall Skinny Vanilla

In the Hudson

If this doesn't bring tears to your eyes, I don't know what would.

Thrashings About for Thursday

We've just returned home from an evening of dog sitting at some friend's home. They have an 11-year old Jack Russell Terrier named Toby...he's a doll and behaved like a perfect gentleman (well, except for those few times he was trying to gay dog hump our little Mason). They both slept with us in A&P's giant king-sized bed. Too bad there wasn't a camera for you all to watch us piled in that bed. And we've been reminded of what serious internet addicts we are....going without the internet for, oh say, about 14 hours.

Hubby is off to work in Seattle today and I'm going to continue checking on Toby throughout the day. I just noticed that my hair is in need of a trim. The little cowlick in one spot always grows out and looks funny and is my reminder of haircut time. The weather has been absolutely glorious for a few days now -- in fact, we've not really had the typical day-after-day rain that we usually do in the winter (except for that major snow back around the holidays). February is one of my favorite months of the year -- the baby bulbs are already about a 1/4 inch out of the ground and it seems like winter (at least here in Portland) at least starts to lose the noose it's held on our necks since November. (Well, all of that plus the fact that I get to age an additional year in a few weeks from now.) It's been in the upper 50s and sunny. Last night in yoga, the sun was shining in and it looked so beautiful on the people's bodies ahead of me in class as they were all positioned just so, challenging their bodies and spirits to focus, balance, and center. I did a bit of a better job on a pose or two but, and I swear to this, there are some poses that are nearly impossible if you are thinking about anything else in your life. Centering, focusing, is demanded....along with "staying with your breath." And last night, just for a minute, I thought about all of those in my life who need some help right now. So, on the exhale of my breath, I breathed out for you. For your health and happiness.

We're throwing around the idea of a possible ocean cruise this spring. I'm the one dragging my feet. It's not that I don't really want to go, it's that I'd rather not spend all of my tax return on a cruise that will be over and done with in a week. I'd rather put it on debt. We've looked at several Transatlantic cruises which are horribly tempting. And now we may have settled on a West Coast/Pacific cruise. And, I must say, the Transatlantic is not much more than the shorter West Coast one....except for the getting back and forth to and from the ship costs. This whole WWW and internet thing is really nothing but a source of giant temptation.

Me and The Rockstar Are Headed to the Gym

Undie Monday Undie Monday Undie Monday Undie Monday

It's Groundhog Day, after all......I just had to say the title over and over and over and over. And I half expected Bill Murray to enter a pic of himself for this week's Undie Monday at Idle Eyes and a Dormy. I wish you all a fantastic first week of February....one of my favorite months of the year.