Coffee and the Pony Ride

We're bummed about not being able join all of the hot "A" list guys in San Francisco for the blogger fest next weekend. However, we have arranged to meet for a quick cup of coffee with Dan and Jimmi late morning on Friday. Any other takers? We'll be in Oakland on an overnight trip and will take Bart over to at least say hi. Really appreciate the boys making time in their busy schedules. Thanks guys!

So, I'm bent down at my luggage yesterday -- doing god knows what. Probably sorting out my cosmetic selections or rearranging my collection of FDS sprays. Behind me comes someone who says "Hey, maybe I'll just jump on and take a ride on the pony." It's a large African American woman, big pretty smile on her face, and looking squarely at me. Me? Be taken for a ride? Not likely.

I asked her if she had a quarter to put in the slot. That always starts the pony up. And he kicks and gallops until the time runs out. And then, you'd better have another quarter.

Lewis and His Wanderings -- With a Predisposition For Good Food

With the exception of world peace, I've finished a project that I've been working on for a bit of time....a Google Map of My World Travels. It'll take a minute to download all of the little blue flags (how did it know that I was a Democrat?). It's plain to see that the Spirit must make trips soon to Australia and the South Pacific as well as South America.

Right after having a great conversation and catching up with my good friend at Sorted Lives, I made a dinner that I really had some questions about. I have to say, and hubby agrees, that it is definitely a keeper. Braised romaine lettuce on the grill topped with grilled onions and red peppers with a drizzle of homemade warm balsamic reduction and finished with shaved Parmesan and glazed pecans. Really awesome -- check out the pics. Oh, and did I mention the charred sweet cherries on the grill with shaved dark chocolate for dessert?

We've got some pretty heavy things going on in our family right now. Like, how shall we say, life-altering things coming up...and, unfortunately, not in a good way. It's been pretty heavy on our hearts and in our heads. I'm so proud of our family member that is facing life as it should be...just exactly for what it is. If you make a mistake, own up to it. Pay for it and don't play victim. The bad part, and it is really terrible, is that there will be some pretty serious jail time, fines, loss of driver's license, and possibly ramifications with children. We're heartbroken. It seems, sometimes, that even when someone tries their hardest to make things right -- especially after things were so horrible -- that it is really difficult to get the ship turned around and onto a new course. Some things are worth it, though. I keep on saying, "Don't look back."

And before I close tonight, I want to say thanks to my blogging buddy Kelly over at Rambling Along With a Stern Point of View. He has reminded us with his beautiful photo below that it is, indeed, the time of year to show our pride. Be proud of who we are and who we can become. Thanks Kelly!

Twister with the Pastor

Anybody remember this? I was reminded today by a fellow blogger of a far-distant memory that I've had for some time now. I don't know if it's a good or bad memory...but I know it's (no pun intended) a little twisted. Even naughty. I'm not even sure how to sort it out. Maybe psychotherapy or medication would help. I've asked my mother about it. She claims "I don't remember." Just like a good politician.....that'll get you off the hook every time. And it has.

The time was probably around the early 1970s -- again, in Idaho. God, what is it that keeps bringing up these odd memories from the most red state in the union. I think things happen there that we don't like to talk about. We became friends with our pastor's family and would go visit from time to time. We'd have dinner, kids in one room, adults at the formal dining table. After dinner, it was no different. The children would stay in the family room to play show and tell or spin the bottle (no, wait, that was with the babysitter)....but it seems that the adults were involved, possibly, in their own version of games.

I remember seeing my parents down on the floor with the pastor and his wife and the Twister board layed out beneath them. Red, yellow, green, blue dots...the hands, arms, legs, and feet all twisted, intertwined, and contorted to produce quite a visual mound of pastor, wife, daddy, and mommy. I never knew that my parents ever got that close. Let alone with a man of the cloth and his outspoken, mouthy wife.

I don't remember, but I wonder if they had a bottle of Mazolla oil nearby?

Summer of Love

New Audio Greeting for June Updated To Your Left.....


I want to be a hippy. Seriously, I definitely think I could have been an ideal fit into the summer of 1967, San Francisco -- the Summer of Love. This year is the 40th anniversary of what began as a Vietnam War protest of sorts. Combine that with all of the social challenges that we faced in the 1960s-1970s....people coming of age, trying to find themselves, hanging loose, being cool, promoting social causes. It was the original "Peace Out" that is experiencing a regain in popularity today. And what better of a time to promote peace?





Au Naturale: I would love to have spent my summer in the parks of San Francisco, barefoot, colorful beads hanging around my neck, skipping showers because I either didn't have a place to take one or didn't care, and saying "Screw the deodorant." Who needed it anyway? Long as we had plenty of patchouli, we're all set. And no razors! No shaving allowed....for boys or girls. And, yes kids, this was long before manscaping. It's all good.....and it was then, too.





There was long, messy hair (which I'm a fan of) and drugs (some of which I may be a fan of if I weren't subject to random drug testing....and, no, I'm not advocating drug abuse). And who could resist the temptation of tripping around the city or country in a VW van with a bunch of buddies -- never knowing where we were going to end up when the sun closed out each day. Happy, wind blowing in your hair, and I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing blaring on the AM (actually, it didn't gain popularity until 1969-1971, but the feeling was definitely gaining momentum). October 1967 premiered the musical Hair which featured Good Morning Starshine and, one of my favorites, Age of Aquarius. The dawn of the wild sexual revolution was in full swing and I think it would have been groovy to be a part of it. I mean, can you dig it, man?





I started first grade at the end of the Summer of Love. I think, even then, that I was a wild free spirit....trying to make its way out of this scrawny white boy's body. Trying to figure out what it really meant to live all together, in peace and harmony, with flowers in my hair. (That should have been someone's first clue.) I'm not even sure the hippy is totally out yet.

Matthew McConaughey and Me in Las Vegas and San Francisco

I shot these pics of Matthew's BB and mine on a recent trip. Guess whose is whose. I admit, it's hard to tell the difference. And don't miss his hot pics in People Magazine.

Here are a few pics from Las Vegas......you can't believe the development, condos, and hotels that continue to be built. Here are more Vegas pics (nothing of the really touristy areas, which is not my gig at all).

And a week or so before Vegas, I went with a few friends on a whirlwind day tour of San Francisco -- with heavy emphasis on the Castro. You'll see all of the pics here. What a cool, fun place. Did I happen to mention the pitcher of Sangria at Luna or the warm sun on our heads while we had a drink at Cafe Flore?
















If you're still reading this, you can see some awesome pics of flowers in our yard here.....Peonies are one my all-time favorites.

Family Reunion!

My long, lost relative has found me! She needs me! I am wanted! She wanted me so badly that I heard from her twice in the same day.....or maybe she just wanted me to read the same email twice. Either way, praise Jesus, we're on the road to her reaching into my back pocket for a little $$$ (actually, a little is all she'll find). A couple of observations:

1. She is right, the letter was a surprise
2. I am so totally into the Greetings in the name of Allah!
3. She doesn't want my phone call (with the illness and all)..just my $$$ (I'd be the same way, I think).
4. Before his death we were born again Christians -- and after????
5. If I am "Truly Christian" -- she just missed out on Jerry Falwell's estate.
6. I love family history and am glad to have a long, lost relative in my quiver.
7. Dear Franca, I hope I'm not too late. It's nice to finally hear from you. If the breast cancer hasn't take you yet, here's the millions you requested. Just use my credit card. (I'll get airline miles for it so it works out well for both of us.)

Dear Beloved in Christ....Reply Back.
GREETINGS TO YOU IN THE NAME OF ALMIGHTY GOD.
Naturally, this letter might come to you as a surprise, since we have not met before.
It is by the grace of God that this occurred; knowing the truth and the truth shall set me free. Having known the truth, I had no choice than to do what is lawful and rightful in the sight of God for eternal life and in the sight of man for witness of Gods mercy and glory upon my life. I have the pleasure to share my life history briefly, with you and also prayed over it, God reviled to me Directions in which to fellow.I am the above named person from Netherlands. I am married to Dr. Franklyn Johnson. Who worked with Canadian Embassy in Netherlands for nine years before his death on 11th march 2004.We were married for eleven years without a Child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death, we were both born again Christians. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of Seven Million, Five hundred thousand US Dollars (USD$7.5M) with(Westdeutsche Landesbank (Schweiz) AG.Switzerland.Presently, this money is still with the above mentioned Bank in Switzerland. And the management wrote me as the beneficiary to come forward to receive the money or rather issue a letter of authorisation to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I cannot go over there due to my ill health condition. Again, with the help of my little adopted Girl by Name: (Marilyn) I wrote thisletter siking for your assistance. Am under intensive medical treatment for cancer of the breast which my Doctor has indicated will keep me off for months and only by the special grace of God. Hence I have decided to Distribute parts of the Funds to (Charity Organizations, Churches and Orphanage Homes etc while the left over will be for my little Girl 'Marilyn') I Don’t want a Situation where this money will be used in an ungodly Manner Like my late Husband's family members are doing. It is my main purpose of contacting you in view of the fact that you are a Truly Christian. Please, I beg you in the name of our Almighty God to help to utilize the above mentioned funds and its interest and distribute it accordingly. While you also will be adequately compensated with 25% of the total Amount. I need a Christian believer. God has put me through to you.
Please I Don't need telephone Communication in this regard because of my health status and the presence of my husband's relatives who have plundered so much of our wealth. I don't want them to know about this Development, since they embark on mismanaging the family resources. Any delay in your Reply will give me room in searching for a church or Christian individual for this same purpos. (Always pray for me.)
Hoping to hear from you soonest.
Yours Sister in the Lord,
Mrs. Franca Martins

It's Official -- The Summer Season is Here!

It's official. The season has begun -- the pilgrimage has launched. I made my first trip to the beach today.....Sauvie Island just northwest of Portland. It was 90 today....really pretty warm for here. Beautiful day along the Columbia River. Some ship traffic (the huge ships come from the Pacific Ocean down the Columbia from to/from the Port of Portland. Lots of jet skiers, a huge group of young dudes and chicks all laughing and having a good time....and all with their brand new tight swim suits on....no one naked at that age, apparently. I was anticipating a quiet day....since it's the middle of the week and not quite the summer season yet. But the parking lots were full and lots of people with their lunches, boats, and friends. I saw two little black snakes (we're talking reptiles here for those with dirty minds), two Great Blue Heron, a dead salmon, and some yellow birds of some sort. Oh, and about a million misquitos. Usually see some hawks, but not today. Three ships passed while I was there. I took the camera with anticipation of taking some pics, but it just didn't feel right. Something about a camera coming out on a nude beach that tends to send a rustle among the troops -- hairs raise, toes curl, and holes tighten when the camera makes its appearance. So, we'll let private be private. It was a great day. Grabbed a Subway sandwich on the way out and ate it on the sand. Next time, we'll grab two and you'll be there with me.

The next couple of weeks are going to be very busy with tons of travel for work and pleasure -- Oakland, Las Vegas, Fairbanks, Boise, Los Angeles, Phoenix....and the list goes on. Whew. I'm getting to old for this crap. Now, where is the Geritol?

It's a Big World After All

I gave a little blogging space to my hubby back at New Year's with this post. He's a great writer and has found a beautiful voice for his talent in our world. He has a heart that just won't quit. He wants so much for himself and everyone else So, with that said, I give you......

It’s a small world….. Our days are longer this time of year. They are filled with bright sunshine, blooming trees, plants, and flowers. Neighbors are walking their dogs. Kids are playing ball in the street. There is energy in the air. Life is good. Life is full. We have been waiting for this time of year for months!

Though for some, life continues status quo. Caught up in the negativity of worldly events, television blaring, money dwindling, overloaded work schedules, poor health, poor diet, bad habits. I just can’t get up from the couch because I am so tired. If I just didn’t work such a long day. I better not do dinner because I have to get up early for work. Need to rest. There will be more sunny days to get out, right? There will be more barbeques, right?

I am reminded this time of year at just how small ours lives can become. How we can reduce something so much bigger then us to something so small, tidy and manageable. risk free. Trial offers. Where did my days off go? They went by so fast. Now I am back at work again. One of these days, I am really going to enjoy my days off! It’s a vacuum. It sucks us right in to the bag, and it is very hard to get out.

I don’t know what has happened to me personally, but suddenly I have been reminded of just how big my world is. It is so much greater than me, and it is calling. Come, be a risk taker! Come, change your life! This is not a trial offer, but a permanent solution called “life”. You have one to live, and now is the time.

I have been asking people to name 5 positive things lately for every 5 negative things they have complained about. It’s been pretty quiet. Is it really that bad? Or do we just like to hear ourselves bitch. Of the negative things listed, I have asked “what are you doing about it?” Quiet.

I have also asked those closest to me the definition of the word “selfish”. Excuse me; I just heard a pin drop. Think about this a while will you? What does selfish mean to you? Is it all about you? Your days off? Your schedule? Your time? Your rest and sleep? Your money?

Are we giving of what we have? Our time, our money, our talents? Are we aware of bringing those around us down by complaining about our lives and what we don’t have to those who try to bring more joy to our lives?

The world is only as small as we make it. I for one am busting out and going to enjoy all I can. This includes being with the ones I love, reducing the toxins from the relationships I have, taking better care of myself, stirring the “status quo”, and taking more risks. Each day should be filled with different things. Big. Full of life. Free of the restrictions that only we have allowed in our lives.

It’s a big world after all……

Blair

No Place to Go

Have you ever had no place to go? No place to call "comfortable" and "like home." Ever been lost -- out of sorts -- your mind, and even your heart, pulled in multiple directions. Maybe familial, possibly religious, could even be self-imposed. Who knows. And who cares. But the feeling of having no place to go is not pretty. We saw Latter Days for the second time tonight. If you haven't checked it out, you should. Especially if you're from a religious family or upbringing. And even more especially if you're from a Mormon family. And, most of all, if you've ever been without friends or someone to turn to. The character played by Jacqueline Bisset pulls the whole thing together for me. I mean, the woman can utter the most simple of words -- "Welcome" -- and it twists my heart strings. I guess when you've experienced not being welcome in your life, you know what that means......to feel welcomed, I mean.

I am blessed with countless friends. Countless. Most of the ones I have today have come into my life over the last ten years since my coming out. The prior ones? They're gone. Disappeared into the maze of religiosity and fear. Couldn't handle me. Couldn't deal with homosexuality. Didn't want to deal with their own internal fights over right and wrong. I'd love to name my friends, by name, right here. To thank them. And wish them the same joy they've brought into my life. Accepted me when others wouldn't. Welcomed me when others couldn't.

From yesterday's fear of rejection, to the actual art of rejection, I have come this far. To today. Through yesterday. And toward tomorrow.

For this Memorial Day weekend, I salute not only the military folks in our nation....but all of you, my friends. The ones I know. The ones I don't know. The ones that I've emailed or blogged with but never met. I salute you, I honor you, I thank you. For being my friends in this life. No matter what season we find each other in, I will always be thankful for your belief in me, even when I am less than reasonable, and for -- especially -- welcoming me to your homes, your lives, and to your table. It's nice to have a place to go.

Oakland, California, Streetscape Tour

It seems that I spend a fair amount of time in Oakland. I call it my Home Away From Home and wanted to share a little of it with you. It is filled with homeless people, plenty of crime, and wanderers. Yet, it has some beautiful architecture, an excellent downtown lake to walk around, and tons of good food. I think I'll try and share more of the cities I visit with you. Enjoy.

Lick Your Lips

We've been eating like royalty. I mean, lick your salty lips kind of stuff. I get so turned on by good food -- I'm into the art of it, the taste, the way it's presented -- even farmer's markets and the way things are displayed. My head starts to spin, my mind goes crazy....I have recipes floating in my brain instantly, how to fix this or that food....the possibilities are endless. You'll see all of my food pics here....and a few scattered above. Enjoy.....and don't forget to raise a glass of wine to good food and good friends as you look through here......and wipe your mouth with your napkin too. Here are the highlights:

** Strawberry and Almond Cream Cake

** Roasted Onion, Red Pepper, and Anaheim Chili Enchiladas

** Garden Burgers with Walla Walla Onions, Avocado, BBQ Sauce

** Charred Onion, Cucumber, White Bean Salad (from Cooking Light)

Anybody for Dinner? You're always welcome at our table.

The Rules Don't Apply to Me

Why is it that we don't like to do what others ask of us? I'm not talking about crazy or unhealthy things like jumping off cliffs or storing dead bodies in the basement. I'm just talking about places that we go in our day-to-day lives....grocery stores, gas stations, airplanes, hotels, subway or bus, and others. "Would you mind forming one line instead of two?" "Would you use that exit today, please?" "Please turn off your cell phone." My buddy at One3Y3 Open had this to say. An admirable post from an admirable guy. But it has caused me to think....all day today I was ultra aware of my requests to others and whether they seemed to hear me or not. Just normal, routine requests that happen to us. The simplest and most polite of requests to adults goes seemingly unnoticed. They don't seem to hear. They don't seem to give a shit. I think it speaks to a much larger issue in our society. I mean, I don't like being told what to do any more than the next guy -- and my "I'll do as I please" bad attitude does sometimes make an unpleasant and shameful appearance. We're not talking about issues of world peace or genocide here. I mean, in ten years is it going to have made any difference when we have to turn off our computers, bring our seat backs forward, or use a different check stand?

Pee and the Psycho Doctor

In spite of the brazen individual that I've become, I used to be horribly shy (I know, no one will believe me). Ridiculously so. I would make sure I was the first one into a classroom, lunchroom, any room, so that I wouldn't have to be watched as the skinny, little, white boy entered (you've seen the pictures)....and maybe even have to go through the arduous task of trying to find a seat by some nice person who felt sorry for me. "Red rover, red rover, send _____ right over" and never hearing your name called was hell. It was hell enough to make me run for the stall in the boy's bathroom growing up. I mean, I think there were two or three urinals and a couple of stalls -- complete with the safety and privacy of a door. I would love to have seen those doors with dead bolts and an alarm system installed. But, of course, you already know of my former shyness when it comes to these sorts of indiscretions. You would never find me at the urinal...hanging my wee-wee out for the boys to see was just not my thing. Alas, I was the one holed up in the stall, peeking through the crack in the door to be sure that no one was trying to look inside at me. I think I'd have poked their eye out if they had. And, not only that, but I found myself most comfortable when actually sitting down, not standing, while peeing. Hum. Weird, isn't it? I mean, there are stranger things that we boys have done in the bathrooms....but this one was just a little off. I can't really explain it very well. But I do remember it. And how my parents ever came to hear of it is beyond me, but they did. It was along about this same time that I just plain old didn't find school challenging (early grade school here, late 1960s or maybe 1970). It was totally boring and never really did accelerate in excitement for me. I couldn't wait to get out of school. So, my parents sent me off to see psycho doctor down in an old house near downtown. I remember my mom taking me there. I went in with the doc while she sat in the waiting room probably reading last month's Life magazine or gazing through Highlight's for Children for some new activity to have me try when we got home. I remember answering question after question for the shrink. We looked at pictures: "What do you see in this picture?" We played the little game "What shape do you see in here?" as I looked intensely at a bunch of black or blue ink dots on the page and tried to decipher a naked boy in that mess. I have no horrible, terrible emotional trauma from that day. I think I performed well under the pressure. What I do know is that the kindly doctor told my mom that there was nothing wrong with me. That school actually was boring and didn't make me think. It was plain old not challenging. He also told her that if I wanted to do something, I'd do it. And if I did not want to do something, that I probably wouldn't do it. Nothing has changed. I can still be stubborn. Now, as for the let's-not-take-a-leak-in-front-of-the-boys deal, he said it was just a phase and that I'd get over it. And, boy, did I. I think I went too far the other direction.

UPDATE (May 19): Take a look here at what my friend over at Saturday Night Soup for the Soul created as a result of this post. Warning -- Adult Material -- 18 and Over Only.

The Old Bucket

Last Friday, I attended an excellent writing workshop for gardeners. Now, don't get me wrong....I am as giddy as the next teenager about sitting in a beautiful garden with a glass of viognier or cup of hot Starbucks in the early morning. However (big "however"), I don't really like gardening (the act of) very much at all. I like the fun stuff -- but, please honey, leave the manual labor to someone else. If I break a sweat, I'm a mess. So, back to the workshop....It was a really fun day. Ten of us with topics such as your earliest garden memory, your favorite gardening tool, what do you see outside right now, favorite gardening book, favorite flowers and vegetables, gardens that have made an impact on your life. We looked at lots of inspiring poetry and essays and did plenty of writing (have any of you written anything by hand lately, no computer??). It was held at the Northwest Viticulture Center a few miles west of Salem, Oregon -- far up on a hillside where we could look out and see the Willamette Valley. The grounds were absolutely beautiful and a perfect spot to spend the day. Vineyards, forest, fields, tons of trees and birds. We laughed and cried. It's amazing the impact that gardens and the outdoors plays on a person's life. It was only when we took the time to really explore it that we discovered that. Since I had no favorite tool to take with me (remember, I'm no Martha Stewart), I chose to write a bit about an old bucket that one person brought. I'll include that piece here:

I think it was older than she was -- and probably as strong. Incapable of leaking water except as a result of a dramatic accident or damage.

The metal bucket had been around a very long time. The handle squeaked loudly. I think it had been used to carry water, stand on to reach tall shelves, toss yard clippings in, gather apricots from the tree by the gravel drive, and bring in kindling to start a fire in the wood stove.

But today, it was filled with cold water from the old hose by the well. "Not too full now," she yelled at me from the kitchen window of the old farmhouse. Someone, I don't remember who, was already busy picking an armful of flowers ...peonies, iris, lilacs. The old water bucket never looked as stately and proud as when she was filled with well water, fresh-cut flowers, and loaded into the trunk of grandma's red Mercury Comet, circa mid-1960s.

And so, off we went -- many Memorial Days -- to place bright flowers of remembrance at the granite stones of family gone before us.

The bucket returned home, in all of her beaten-up glory, empty, well used, and ready to perform her next priceless task.

Maturity

Maturity is the ability to tolerate an injustice without wanting to get even. Maturity is patience. It is the willingness to postpone immediate gratification in favor of the long-term gain.

Maturity is perseverance, sweating out a project in the face of heavy opposition and discouraging setbacks. Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat without complaint, collapse or attempting to find someone to blame.

Maturity is humility. It is being big enough to say "I was wrong." And, when right, the mature person is able to forgo the satisfaction of saying "I told you so."

Maturity is the ability to evaluate a situation, make a decision and stick with it. The immature spend their lives exploring possibilities, changing their minds and, in the end, they do nothing.

Maturity means dependability, keeping one's word, coming through in a crisis. The immature are masters of the alibi. They are confused and disorganized. Their lives are a maze of broken promises, former friends, unfinished business and good intentions that never materialize.

Maturity is the art of living in peace with that which we cannot change, the courage to change that which can be changed and the wisdom to know the difference.

*I apologize for not knowing the source of this quote. I have had it in my keepsake drawer for years. If you know to whom credit should be given, please let me know*