* * * My Words, My World, My Way * * *

Please Write: ALewisPDX@gmail.com

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

A Smile Is More Than What's On My Face

You know, I've been thinking a little. Since yesterday when a friend said to me, "You don't smile much....I liked the old Lewis that smiled and used to have fun." Why don't you just stab me in the back? Now, I'm not a guy that is given easily to what people say, or don't say, about me. I'm not quickly driven by the wind, opinions, or viewpoints. I'm the "Let me think about it, mull it over, weigh all of the sides" sort of guy. I don't mind admitting that I'm this or that -- although I used to be. But his point has me thinking. I don't think that I've ever been much of a smiling sort of happy-go-lucky dude. Giggles and frivolity don't do much for me. I think that I'm much more a serious thinking sort of fellow. Quite happy with a cup of coffee and a book. Alone, even. I don't need parties or clubs or loud music -- and games leave me horribly bored and unchallenged. They seem to sort of get in my way of a peaceful life. I am quite content to be happy, which I am; consistent, which I try to be; level-headed, which I have become more of. But I'm also aware that there are times for a little less seriousness. Times to cut loose and have a little fun. My fun times are not riddled with sticking my foot out to trip someone, or tossing leftover plastic bags at somebody, or giving someone a wet finger in the ear as I pass by (well, I'd do that for some). Junior high was a long time ago. My moments of pleasure are filled with close friends, dinners, coffee and desserts, movies, BBQs, movies, walking, reading, picnics, bookstores, and travel. I love a good musical concert. My sense of humor is probably more dry than a good old fashioned British gin. I love having a good time with people, ribbing them a little, causing them to think "Is this guy serious or not." I love that sense of confusion.....and love it even more when a smile comes across their face and they realize that I'm having a great time. So, I'm not sure whether I should take his point to heart and need to change something I'm doing or not. If I were trying to identify myself with someone who I think I'm like, I'd have to say Bea Arthur playing the part of Dorothy on The Golden Girls. Sassy, coy, witty, snappy and, yes, serious most of the time. But loving life? That I think she and I both are.

And in reading my blogs today, I ran across this from my friend over at Being Normal. How appropriate after my above thoughts.

16 comments:

TJ said...

You just be who you want to be. Even though we've never met, I'm sure by the things I've read I would find you a really great person and wouldn't want you to change.

emeraldcityguy said...

Except for the part about games I could have written that post. I actually love to play cards and games. Several years ago I got really really drunk at a party and later one of my closest friends said that she liked me better drunk because I seemed to be having more fun, laughing and chatting people up. The comment really hurt my feelings. That's just not me.

dit said...

It sounds as if you and I are very similar. Be happy with who you are.

Breenlantern said...

well said....i love you just the way you are....and look forward to experiencing all that is Lewis in person some day!

CJ said...

Lewis if you don't want to smile then by gosh don't.;) Your a handsome fella no matter. Sure I always notice a smile,like TJ's above. But I don't know if you used to smile more in the past since we don't have a past.
Don't give it another thought.

Ur-spo said...

pish posh i say to this man's comment.
You convey a man who is sure of himself; I think that is a big reason why you are so popular and liked; people are attracted to your self certainty.
so don't 'change' to how others think you should be.
And i think you smile a lot just fine; i don't recall many photos without that Lewis grin.

Palm Springs Savant said...

Well we all go through phases. and we can't just be "switched on" all the time, smiling for no reason. My suggestion is to take a weekend getaway retreat. Or go hiking alone somewhere and let your mind sort things out. Even if you decide everything is fine, you'll be happy to have gotten out of your normal routine.

Birdie said...

You and I have the same sense of quiet fun. Those who know you well don't need the smiles to know you're having a good time.

We gain a great sense of peace with self-acceptance. Knowing who we are and who we are not steers us towards those things that bring contentment. No need for constant stimulating excitement. Your friend's comment was unfortunate but harmless. Let be. And sit back with a good book.

bridgeout said...

What a cause for a {sigh} when someone says to us "I like the _old_ you better...". As if our life's journey has been about bringing to light the perfect vision of what _others_ want us to be. We all evolve... or we are stagnant. That is the mystery and beauty of who we are. And like the quote on TJ's blog... in the end, those who matter don't mind!

Laurie said...

I'm just glad you're you.

If I have to be serious then I know
it's time to throw in the towel.
After I've ripped it off of some
hot guy in the shower.


HUGS!!!!!!!

afod said...

I feel very much the same way, and feel that I giggle and laugh and smile much. But it shocks me that when a photo of me is taken, without my knowing, how "angry" or "mad" I look. I think I need to get a "cheek lift." All those years of pinching my cheeks have led to sagging frown lines in my old age.

Derek said...

I bet I could make you smile, I tickle. Liked your entry here. I smile on the inside, and the outside most of the time. Hope your having a great weekend.

Stacey said...

I've been thinking of this for several days since you posted it. People say this to me sometimes too, which I can't figure out at all, because I smile and laugh all the time. I guess when I am being serious, it's such a contrast that I look like I'm mad. Ha!

I suspect that the statement is less a comment on the person's perception of my state of mind, and more subconsciously a way of asking if I still enjoy their company, or if I am somber because I am bored or irritated. Hard to say.

We all grow up (hopefully,) and with that comes more concerns of a serious nature. Smiles do not always equal joy, just as lack of smiles do not always mean lack of joy.

Nathan said...

Ah yes, my favorite Golden Girl. How appropriate that you'd relate to her. I'm a Dorothy myself :)

WAT said...

I laugh and giggle all the time, but rarely smile.

Does that make sense?

Doug said...

Not sure what that guy was smoking. The times I've spent with you were filled with laughter, twisted humor, smiles, comfort, friendship, and optimism because if people like you still exist in this world, then things aren't as bad as they seem.

Kick the guy in the kneecap next time you see him. Just to prove his point. And see if he gets the joke. ;)