Side-by-Side Lives

Ugly live up on the inside. Ugly be a hurtful, mean person.  Is you one a them peoples?

Impact.  Powerful.  Tossed around without regard like dust in the air sometimes, those words are.  I am in the middle of reading The Help.  But somehow it happened that Saturday evening was a good time for us to go and see the movie....which I've been waiting for months to see.  This is just my kind'a story.  Personal.  Compelling.  The actual stories of people's lives.  Yours and mine.  They do have merit, you know.....the stories of our lives. 

But one of the things that occurred to me during the movie is the side-by-side lives lived by the folks portrayed in the case.  The parallel lives.  The many pieces of the lives that occurred with each individual over the years that happened in conjunction with one other.  The Help would many times stay with the same white family for years.  Many years....oh say 40 or more years.  The Help would live their own path and life during this 40 years.  And the white family that they worked for would also live their own life during this same 40 years.  Two distinct, varied, very different paths over the same length of time -- running parallel to one another.  Children would come and go, news stories would pass, times would change, political relevance would rise and fall, social interaction would lumber on.  And as individual as these paths are, they are intertwined in so many ways. 

Ever morning, until you dead in the ground, you gone have to make this decision. You gone have to ask yourself, "Am I gone believe what them fools say about me today?"

And the fact that this story took place right here under our noses in the US of A really hits home with me.  Perhaps I should say takes place, present tense.  Because it does.  No matter the laws of the land or the regulations in place the dark hearts of the people are difficult to assimilate into the new ages.  Things don't change inside of a person's soul because a political figure tells them to.  I'm ashamed to know that in my lifetime there is hatred for who people are -- not what they have necessarily done or how they've behaved...that's a whole other matter.  But for who they are.  That it takes place in the most powerful nation on earth really irritates me.  Confuses me.  On how we could have ever allowed it to happen.  Whatever it was that prompted white people to actually believe that they could catch colored diseases from the colored people.  And everyone believed it at the time.  And it continues to happen in so many ways even today.  We've got a long, long way to go.  My friend Matt said recently "I think we need to come together on social issues at their core.... Create real social solidarity not this fake wave a flag on flag day and temporary love for all other Americans during a time of crisis, but real solidarity."  He's right on.  


Another piece of this story that hit home with me is how the person who steps out of their comfort zone and stands up for others is the person that should lead this world.  The one who sees a wrong and wants to make it right.  The one who sees the underling being beaten down and berated and wants to do whatever it takes to stand with them.  Every family, every period of time in our globe's history, has one or two of those people.  The ones who refuse to accept for fact what is told to them.  What is shoved down their throat.  What is simply assumed to be reality. The person says, "No," and then goes about making it right.  Do you stand up for the underdog, the one who is treated poorly, the one who needs a comrade?  I try to. 

All I'm saying is, kindness don't have no boundaries.

The stories of our lives are powerful.  I think I said that in the opening paragraph.  And they are.  They are, after all, our stories, our lives.  No one else's.  They may not mean much to anyone else.  But they mean the world to us.  And in just the right time, the right place, and when the moment is tender and available, the stories of our lives fit perfectly into the life of someone else.  They enter someone else's heart, or mind.  They meld and blend.  You can see it on the face of the other person.  They suddenly morph from a blank look of nothingness into a land where the two get it....they know one another .... they understand one another.  The point at which the stories of two people's lives intersect is one of the most influential points during our short years on this planet. 

Portland Lesbian & Gay Film Festival

This week is one of my favorite weeks here in Portland. It is the different, the odd, the unusual that not only makes me like Portland but, in particular, like this week. It is the Portland Lesbian and Gay Film Festival and it runs over the course of a week including the weekends on both ends. You'd think that in a week's time we could actually get to quite a few flicks....but not so. Last night was almost our only chance to see two of them.

We Have to Stop Now -- Is a romantic dramedy that follows two lesbian therapists as they struggle to keep up the pretense of staying together when a documentary film crew invades their home after the success of their book “How To Succeed In Marriage Without Even Trying.” Lesbian therapists Kit and Dyna have it all: they’re a power couple, they each have a thriving practice, and they've published a best-selling book. But Kit and Dyna also have a problem: right before the book came out, their relationship started falling apart. Naturally, they don’t want anyone to know. They are secretly in couples counseling, and so far, it’s not going well. And life is about to get a lot more complicated: Kit’s flaky sister has parked herself on their couch for the indefinite future, and a film crew has arrived to document their “perfect” marriage.

We joined the throngs of Subaru-driving, smart and sensible-shoe wearing Portland lesbians for this film (you knew that Portland hosts one of the world's largest lesbian populations.....right???). I felt like we were an oddity in this group. It was a sort of funny film but not super great. Nice to see because it was a part of the Festival and all, and something out of the ordinary, but I wouldn't see it again. The second film was great:

The Sisters -- Since their inception in 1979 to combat HIV and AIDS, the infamous Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence have established missions all over the world, ministering to the masses with glitter, wit and charity. As German filmmakers explore the Sisterhood in Berlin, Montevideo in Uruguay and San Francisco, we find out that Sisters everywhere hand out happiness, along with a healthy dose of tongue-lashing. For anyone who has ever wondered why the Sisters wear white faces (or faces at all), this documentary lifts the veil for an inside look at the organization committed to safer sex, LGBT rights and performance art. As one original Sister says, “We’re not really anti-Catholic at all. We’re just anti-guilt, anti-hate, anti-negativity.” This exuberant documentary lives up to that commitment, sparkles and all.

And would you believe that Portland's very own Sisters were there with us! We had a great time. And there's a chance that we may be able to see The Secret Diaries of Anne Lister later this week.

Doubt

Do you ever have doubts? We've just returned from a totally unexpected movie....Doubt. I had no idea. I mean, we are so not mainstream anything.....we rarely see movies, know music, shows, actors, etc. So, here we end up at this movie. If you've ever struggled with doubt in your life, the lack of facts or no facts in a challenging situation, or suspicion it'll hit you right between the eyes. And if you've encountered the more ethereal emotions of compassion and kindness, you'll easily see yourself in this film. Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman can do no wrong.

Boys In the Band

...."What I am Michael is a 32 year old ugly, pockmarked, Jew fairy. And if it takes a little while to pull myself together and if I smoke a little grass before I get the nerve to show my face to the world, it's nobody's god damned business but my own........And how are you this evening?"

..."There's one thing to be said about masturbation: you certainly don't have to look your best..."

..."You're lips are turning blue. You look like you've been rimming a snowman..."


Quotes From Boys In the Band which we just saw for the first time the other night.

ET Phone Home

Sorry, kids.....been totally out to lunch and consumed deep and bad with techno-geek junk. Check it out. I'm looking for medication. Honey got the Samsung Blackjack. I've neglected you all -- my apologies.

Not to mention that we also just saw The Simpson's Movie. Good, not great. A nice break in a nutty freaked out world.

Oh yea, we had one of these cuties in our yard tonight....thought he/she (I didn't get down and look) was hurt....but was just nesting....in our yard! Way out of his/her element. Gone by the time we got home from the movie.

UPDATE: Tonight we're going to watch Dr. Wayne Dyer on our local PBS station. Saw the trailer for this guy and it sounds just like what I need to pump me up right now.

No Place to Go

Have you ever had no place to go? No place to call "comfortable" and "like home." Ever been lost -- out of sorts -- your mind, and even your heart, pulled in multiple directions. Maybe familial, possibly religious, could even be self-imposed. Who knows. And who cares. But the feeling of having no place to go is not pretty. We saw Latter Days for the second time tonight. If you haven't checked it out, you should. Especially if you're from a religious family or upbringing. And even more especially if you're from a Mormon family. And, most of all, if you've ever been without friends or someone to turn to. The character played by Jacqueline Bisset pulls the whole thing together for me. I mean, the woman can utter the most simple of words -- "Welcome" -- and it twists my heart strings. I guess when you've experienced not being welcome in your life, you know what that means......to feel welcomed, I mean.

I am blessed with countless friends. Countless. Most of the ones I have today have come into my life over the last ten years since my coming out. The prior ones? They're gone. Disappeared into the maze of religiosity and fear. Couldn't handle me. Couldn't deal with homosexuality. Didn't want to deal with their own internal fights over right and wrong. I'd love to name my friends, by name, right here. To thank them. And wish them the same joy they've brought into my life. Accepted me when others wouldn't. Welcomed me when others couldn't.

From yesterday's fear of rejection, to the actual art of rejection, I have come this far. To today. Through yesterday. And toward tomorrow.

For this Memorial Day weekend, I salute not only the military folks in our nation....but all of you, my friends. The ones I know. The ones I don't know. The ones that I've emailed or blogged with but never met. I salute you, I honor you, I thank you. For being my friends in this life. No matter what season we find each other in, I will always be thankful for your belief in me, even when I am less than reasonable, and for -- especially -- welcoming me to your homes, your lives, and to your table. It's nice to have a place to go.

Videos, The Queen, Reading, and Anger Management

All of my cruise videos have now been uploaded into YouTube. I'm learning, so give me a break, boys. A couple of the most cool things we did all week on the cruise: (1) In the ocean water with Annie, the dolphin. Literally, we got to hold her, kiss on her cute little nose and all of that....It was truly an amazing experience. (2) Cooking class for 10 people with the Executive Chef of the Westerdam. We cooked right up in the ship's kitchen! (3) The food each evening in the dining room can't be described. It's quality and presentation were nothing short of works of art. I hope you'll take a look. It's been a nice week to get back into the swing of things...I worked two days....and will work all weekend. Going to be spending every Saturday and Sunday night this month in one of my very favorite world cities....Vancouver, BC. But, hey, it's a hotel room....and a very very nice one at that.

Went to see The Queen last night (well, it was more like five queens going to see The Queen) at our favorite neighborhood theater, The Roseway. We went with my brother-in-law and two good friends. Everyone enjoyed it. Amazing those royalty emotions, or lack thereof. I am always into seeing how other groups of people feel/don't feel, do things/don't do things. Hopefully, it provide me with a more well-rounded insight into the world we live in.



Here's my latest in hilarious discoveries of books. I picked it out before the cruise because I didn't want anything heavy or something that made me think to much for vacation. It's a really funny book filled with extremely short chapters. You'll definitely see yourself numerous times in these chapters loaded with poking fun at our crazy selves.









Did you ever have one of these days? Things just seem to put you right on the precipice of flipping out and going off on someone. I know that Nathan blogged about this recently....but I'm sure that all of us can relate! (Being a flight attendant, I think I especially got a tee-hee out of it.) Enjoy.....We laughed ourselves to death over this one. Happy weekend everybody. (PS...There's a new audio greeting at the top of the page for the month of February.)

Death of a President

An extremely rainy night in Portland, last night was. Windy, warm, deep puddles of muddy water everywhere. Wool hats and coats were soaked. Everyone running to wherever they had to go, walking not really smart unless you're totally into getting wet. My partner was in the basement-- ironing one of the more than 30 shirts that had piled up over a month or so. Now, don't get on my case about keeping his pretty face in the basement, working away. He offered. And most of the shirts were his (he's gonna kill me). But, I digress. We had passed the very old and cool Hollywood Theater earlier in the afternoon and I told him then that I was going to check out the movies when we got home. I spotted two that I wanted to see. It's now straight-up 4:00 and Death of A President starts at 4:45. Did he want to keep on ironing or screw it and get a move-on for the movie? Sounds like an easy answer, but sometimes we're not so good at impromptu. Yesterday, for some reason, was a little different. He yanked the ironing cord out of the electrical outlet and we were off. In a flash. I'm still digressing. The movie is an amazingly powerful fictional documentary about the assassination of George W. Bush next October 2007. It follows the day of the shooting and the subsequent FBI investigation and search for the assassin. Unbelievably gripping. Tons of interesting, behind-the-scenes kind of information. And a script so very well written. Even the would-be Republicans seemed believable. Their scripts were absolutely spot-on...exactly the way they would look, feel, speak, react. Very, eerily, believable. And we both were surprised at how truly sad we felt over the President's death. In spite of the quite-clear fact that we can't stand the dude, and we even knew what was coming in the movie, we both were amazingly sad. The second half of the movie deals with the search for the killer. The interviews become more and more painful as the story unfolds. When the flick ended, we felt empty, worn out, tired. You'll definitely have more material than you need to keep you talking for awhile. And, remember, the movie is not true. You'll be amazed at how lifelike it leaves you feeling. As great as it was, and I'm really glad we went, I told him that I'd rather have seen the other movie at the theater.....something about cancer, loving, relationships, dying. Ah, we'll save those emotions for another day.