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Monday, June 02, 2008

Are You Being Stalked ??

Are you being stalked? I know you are because I am. I mean, if you have a blog, you're being stalked -- right? People come and go from your site, check it out, leave .... maybe they'll be back again, maybe they'll even leave a comment ... and some may email you or whatnot. And then there is the blogroll. Who do you list in your blogroll? What's the criteria? And how about those who you have listed on your own blogroll and whose sites you read but they don't necessarily read yours or ever comment or blogroll you .... do you keep them on your blogroll or 86 them? I know it's a tender topic ... and I expect a wide variety of responses. I read in excess of 100 blogs via my feed reader. And I try to comment if it's a topic that I'm interested in and sparks my interest. Or, if I don't comment on your site this time, I typically will the next time or two around -- it's only polite. But there are definitely blogs that I read pretty faithfully and comment on .... but they have never commented on my site nor have they blogrolled me. I guess that's cool. No harm done ... everyone is adult enough to not get their feelings hurt too much. And everyone's daily lives definitely play into how much time each of us has to read, comment, and keep up the intricacies of the website. But my time, like all of yours, is precious -- and I go through a weeding out process from time to time, clearing, cleaning, getting rid of sites, adding others. I guess I'm just wondering what you all do .... what is your criteria? Do you read sites that don't read you ... do you keep on commenting those who never comment on you? Ahh, the amazing things that this WWW blogosphere computer thing has introduced us to.


Ur-spo said...

good topic!
i wish there were some rules to all of this.
I tend to put people on my roll who have kindly placed me on their roll. I place some people who never visit me, because I like to read them.
If they are not active after 4 months or if i know they have 'retired' I tend to drop them, although it feels odd to do so.
I try not to keep track of the stalkers - for one thing i don't have the time - i am trying to regularly read over 60 now. And I always try to always leave a comment to let them know i was there.
It is rather like having a 2nd job at some time!

Dave2 said...

If I've met you, you go on the front page. If I haven't met you, but I read you and want to meet you, you go on my secondary blogroll page. Though I don't update as often as I should, so everybody probably isn't there that should be there. :-(

Naijadude said...

I find it a bit overwhelming. The popular you become, the more you feel obligated to read their blogs and leave comments atleast. Blogrolls? I stopped returning the favors after awhile, like "ur-spo" said, its like a 2nd job, I just cant keep track!

Nathan said...

For what it's worth, here's my take on it--

I renamed my blogroll to be a "buddy list" and only include people who I truly consider to be friends. These are people I genuinely care about, keep up with, talk to, etc. In the spirit of the word "buddy", I only list those I truly consider to be just that. I don't even understand what a blogroll is ;)

As far as reading, I go through spells. I have about 100 in my RSS feed too. It includes a brief snippet of the post, so I skim the topics and click on the ones that really interest me. Other times, especially in the winter, I'm more likely to read all posts from start to finish.

But the rules are all over the place. Some people take these things extremely seriously, others could care less.

Good luck figuring the rules out :) I'll be interested to see what others say.

anne marie in philly said...

I don't have a blog, but enjoy reading other people's take on life.

I leave a comment if the subject so moves me.

what I have discovered - we all have more in common with each other than we think we do.

thank you, lewis!

Anonymous said...

Indeed, a touchy subject.

Right now, I have people on my blogroll that do not have me on theirs. I've also deleted people from there who refuse to put me on theirs - knowing that I read/comment on their site.

I think I made a whole post about this once. To sum it up, if I want others to read your site, I'll put it on my blogroll. If I'm not ready to share your site with others, I use a bookmark in my browser instead.

Besides, one can't always comment on a post due to technical reasons (like their refusal to leave the machine that is blogger... ) ;)

Brettcajun said...

When I first had a blog, I took things like "blogrolls" WAY TO SERIOUSLY. It personally affected me. Now that I am an old crotchety blogger... I don't give a shit if someone doesn't blogroll me.

There are people that I have met personally (and who I feel close to). I'll click on their blogs several times a day to see what's up with them. Because they are like family to me or my favorite furry pets.

Kelly said...

like brett, when I started blogging i was all about my blogroll and who's blogroll i was on, but now it is what it is... i too have over 100 blogs in my rss feed and if someone updates, i will likely read the post... i typically only comment if something really strikes me... from time to time i like too go through all my blog feeds and drop a line... it is about that time of year for me to do that... but i think i will steal this idea for a blog post this evening....

Lemuel said...

I guess my own approach is that my blogroll is my list of sites that I would recommend to others - whether or not they visit me [anymore] or leave comments. I usually "find" these blogs when the blogger stops by and leaves a comment or sometimes when another blogger I read points to them.

I think all of us who blog are "comment whores". We love readers to leave comments, but I know I do not always leave comments. Believe it or not, sometimes I really do not have anything to say! ;)

As for cleaning, on rare occasions I will delete an entry when I find it is no longer available. I even have trouble deleting those that have become "inactive".

I also have a special category for those blogs I read that are NSFW. I struggle sometimes over putting a blog in that category, but then, because I am able to catch a couple of my favs from my work pc (during breaks), I myself appreciate knowing if I might open up a blog that my employer/hr/co-workers might find offensive. I try to reserve reading those from my home.

Breenlantern said...

I make it a point to never comment on any post anywhere for any reason ever!That way, no precedent is set. oh shit! I'm commenting now. DOH you evil blogger...I'll get you my pretty, and your little "dog", too!

You are all welcome to stalk me any time you want...it's the closest I will ever get to being famous!

I read a few blogs faithfully almost daily, respond when I can, add to my blog roll when I think to, drop from my blog roll when the posts stop happening, and the rest i make up as I go along. If you're not on my blogroll and visit often and would like to be, you have but to ask. I'm VERY compliant!!!!

Steven said...

If I commented on all the sites I read, I wouldn't have time to do anything else. LOL.

The Neighbors Will Hear said...

I don't have a blogroll. In part, this is because I worry about inadvertently insulting someone by not including him, but mostly it's just that I'm too lazy.

I had one of those RSS things for about ten minutes, but I soon learned I couldn't keep up. It means that sometimes I forget to regularly check blogs I like, but when I remember and go back, the old posts are still there.

Whether I comment is mostly a function of whether I have something to say, but there are times when I have a lot to say but just don't feel like it that day and other times when not having much to say doesn't stop me.

Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, right?

dit said...

Great topic. For me, the criteria is finding a blog or its creator interesting or if I feel a connection.

I appreciate those who read my blog and love getting comments. However, understand we all have real lives. lol

I visit many a blog who have never visited my blog, that I know of. Although, I feel I have come across many very interesting and sweet people that I would have never even walked past in my everyday life.

I like Nathan's take on the subject.

Laurie said...

I'm stalking your picture
there. Yeah, I'm bad.


Michael Guy said...

Did you just take me out to the woodshed? Cuz, like, I'd totally go.

I'm guilty of not always commenting or infrequent commenting. If I've got someone linked on my blog roll that's an indicator that I love the writer's content and 'voice.'

I'm definitely a stalker type. I will leave a comment, though, when I'm really moved on some emotional level. DON't delete me, LEWIS!

Anonymous said...

I have thought about this as well. I only have a couple dozen blog feeds I really follow (I add others as I happen upon them). I love to drop in and comment regularly on those that I follow. There will always be those that I go comment several times on, and don't hear back from. But for the most part, nearly everyone I have stumbled upon and "stalked" (love that!) has returned the stalking! ;)

Anonymous said...

PS- I keep forgetting to say how cool your "June" pic. is there! :)

travelling, but not in love said...

Well, I like people who comment more than those who visit and say nothing.

I even like comments that are just 'hey, how you doing' kind of thing.

I do visit a couple of sites - and comment - of people that don't visit mine, or if they do they never speak up. But you know, horses for courses.

Because I blog anonymously, I kind of don't have the advantage of a group of ready made readers (i.e. my friends off-line), so every reader, for me, is valued.

I often wonder how we find each other, but hey, that's a whole other topic...

K-A said...

I tend add someone to my blog roll if I visit their site on a regular basis because it is obvious I find them interesting. I don’t have a lot of time to read too many blogs so my list is short compared to others. As for expecting to be added to their blog roll I have to say I don’t care. I don’t expect it. If they do I take it as a compliment.

I have no problem in deleting someone from my blog roll if I feel I no longer have an interest in what they have to say or they have stopped blogging, etc. To me it’s a no obligations matter.

Matt said...

I basically add those blogs to my blogroll that I enjoy reading, and that I think my readers will as well. It doesn't matter to me if they blogroll me or not - that's not the reason I want others to read what they write.

I will take someone off of my blogroll if their blog goes defunct - as in disappears or hasn't been updated in 60 days. I think it's only fair, that I don't have dead links on my blog. And I will delete links if someone writes nasty, gossipy, unsubstantiated crap that they refuse to back up. Then again, I probably wouldn't ever blogroll someone that writes like that.

Oh, and my only real pet peeve about blogrolls - I could care less if someone links me or not - but DO NOT have special tiers of blogs, like "Great blogs", and then "Blogs to only read when you have absolutely nothing better to do". What's the point of that? It's just rude. Probably the quickest way to make me un-link you.

Anonymous said...

I don't have any criteria and perhaps that's what can bog me down sometimes. I try to religiously read just about everyone on an almost daily basis. And trying to do it all on my dial-up computer can be a task one would hate to undertake.

I share many of the thoughts expressed by Ur-Spo and Steven.

However, I have noticed MANY people who stopped reading my blog when I switched from Blogger to Wordpress. I was told that they like to retain their anonymity and distance in the blogging world. But when you comment on a Wordpress blog, your IP address is disclosed along with the e-mail address. And many times people blog from work, sometimes identifying their employer's name in the e-mail address.

LSL said...

Great topic, Lewis! I pretty much second what Matterdays says. I blogroll those I enjoy reading, and I want to be better about updating my blogroll when someone stops posting. I want to get my favorites into a feedreader to make it easier, but I can't seem to find the time to get it started! It's a problem.

WAT said...

Something every blogger thinks about for sure.

It's only nice to visit yer fellow bloggers and comment! I MEAN COME ON! It's not that hard! If ya want people to read yer crap and comment, u gotta return the favor! It's a give-and-take people!

Bye Lewis!

Thom said...

The blogs I read regularly (like yours, of course!) are in a Bookmarks folder in my web browser. The ones that are in my links list on my own blog are there for various reasons, but not necessarily because I read them regularly. (Sometimes they're people I've met, sometimes they're people who link to me so I link to them in return, etc.)

I have a few regular reads who do not link to my blog, have never commented on it, and in fact have probably never even looked at it. But I really have to have a blogcrush on someone to keep linking to him in that case.

I have to admit that ordinarily, if I link to someone and post comments without ever getting any reciprocation, I will somewhat petulantly delink him!

Oh, well, We can't always be big-spirited.

"Just David!" said...

I comment occasionally and link whoever I think is funny or interesting at the time I find them, just so I'll remember. If I don't go back for a while or don't find it interesting anymore or they stop blogging, off it goes! It really depends on the mood of the day or how I'm reacting to the new drugs! Ha!

Keith said...

We could use a new Emily Post or Miss Manners to guide us through the etiquette of blog rolling, and no doubt we'll soon produce one.

For my part, I blogroll sites I really, really like, whether they link to me or not. (In some cases I haven't even asked them to link to me; I feel so unworthy! : ) ) I almost never never cut anyone from my blogroll--even if a site goes defunct, I'll leave it on the roll, usually, because someone might want the link to the site's archive.

I'm pretty careful about who I put on the roll in the first place, so I rarely have to cut. At the same time, I will link (for now) to just about anybody who asks me. Fortunately, I don't get asked all that often!

RAD said...

Its all so hard to pinpoint- I have no a real outline of my dos and donts. I tend to go to a handful on a daily basis-maybe like 10 of more daily and the rest weekly- The daily's are all the time-like yours a few others that I truly enjoy the content and feel a connection to them--You can tell when you read the blogs if that person and you have a connection and they would be a friend you know....you feel a vibe.... well I do....I comment to those whether they do comment to me or not.....Other's are for checking out the boys and men so I get eye gasims- others for news and such......of course there is the ONES when I am in the mood for pure hotness and want to get a nice boner.....

Anonymous said...

if i've added them and they never comment or respond to an email, i'll delete them. i only blogroll the ones I try to read at least a few times per week. ive always found it a little odd that i am on some blogrolls but have never heard from the person. guess i should be flattered and shut up.

Timmy said...

Maybe my next career could be the Miss Manners of the www and I could field netiquette questions?

I leave a comment if I have something to say. My blogroll consists of blogs that I read on a daily basis.

CJ said...

Oh hell yeah I read sights that don't read me.
I'm not too good at blogrolling. I keep intending to update but don't.
I don't comment on the majority of blogs I read. Some postings beg for a response and others don't.
I used to never read comments on my blog.

Mike said...

I'm a self confessed stalker, thank you. ;-) Seriously, though, I've whittled down my blogroll to those I actually read on regular basis and to those who actually post on my own blog more than a couple of times as well. I tried to separate them at one point but the listings didn't make any real sense since their topics were all over the place. I do, however, visit a lot of other blogs NOT on my blogroll too. I guess I'm just too lazy to update it.

Doug said...

I don't generally follow a rule about this. I continue to read some that probably don't read me. I don't wait for their comment on my blog before commenting on theirs. I don't play the blog-favor game. But I don't blame those that do. As you said, we're all busy and have to ration our time. Blog and let blog.