One of the most lovely parts of my job is being able to sleep in other people's beds on a fairly regular basis. Yes, it's true. They are beds filled with who knows what -- pubic hairs (okay if it's a hot guy), dust and dust mites, leftover flaked-off skin, and all sorts of stains. Fortunately, I am home in my own bed many nights....but not last night.
I'm in the middle of a 4-day trip. You'll see it all here. It's not a bad trip at all and finishes early on Friday. But, you see, here's the deal. Last night we finished far later than normal for me. 10:00pm in Orange County. I mean, I'm typically well into REM by that time of night.....after popping a half a generic Benadryl about 7:30pm. So, 10pm is late. Midnight before I wound down, turned off the lights, and climbed into bed. But, wait! What are these things on the bed? An electronic control of some sort. Vibrator? Nope. I fool with it and find out that it's the control for my sleep number bed. What I don't know is how to operate the damned thing. In the dark. (And I typically operate fairly well in the dark.) I push, prod and poke until I make it move up and down (no comments necessary, thank you).
It's not even on both sides, but it'll do....I can't quite make it do what I want. I toss, turn, and think it's too hot in the room -- so I get up and turn the air conditioner down to 67 and go back to bed. I finally fall asleep. I'm not quite sure what time it happened, but it did. One side of the bed deflated completely. Like the air going out of a camping inflatable mattress. Pppsssssstttt......it left 50% of my bed about six inches lower than the other side. I push, prod, poke the controls again....the electronic pump under the bed makes a terrible noise.
I get up, yank all of the decorative pretty Radisson pillows from the other bed and jump into it. It's harder than a rock but I don't care. I'm not touching that control for anything. It's now the middle of the night after going to bed at midnight. And the next thing I know, it's 6:53am....the Southern California warm sunshine is coming in my window. And I'm exhausted. It's a lovely job.