* * * My Words, My World, My Way * * *

Please Write: ALewisPDX@gmail.com

Saturday, January 31, 2009

This Little Piggy .......

You may as well just sign me up for the county fair. No, not to go to it. To actually be in it. In the 4-H exhibits. In the pens where they keep the piggys. Just grease me up real good and show me off. I'm sure to bring a blue ribbon. You see, I spent all day in an environment where I had no food other than 7-11 sort of snack items to eat. Except, you see, for this last flight tonight. I forgot that I would actually be serving a bit of dinner to my guests in First Class tonight. And actually, I was happy to see it (thinking that maybe there would be extras for me and the rest of the crew.....and, boy oh boy, was there!). I had a whole lot of leftovers. I gave the crew each one. And I still had a bunch left. So, I thought, I'll combine two salads and eat just one of the ravioli bits. So, I did. Oh, along with a piece of garlic toast that was so full of butter that you couldn't even pick it up....it sort of disintegrated when you touched it.....I could feel my arteries slowing to a crawl. So, as soon as that was over with, there were others still in the oven...just sort of staring at me saying "eat me, eat me" (and I know you've all seen that look before). So, I did. Stuffed those bad boys in my mouth faster than you can imagine. Along with TWO more pieces of garlic bread slogged full of butter. Oh, and to make myself feel good, another salad. I swear, it's a damned good thing I'm at the gym regularly. And why is it that I couldn't have just eaten the apple that I had in my bag? So, just send me an application for the fair, would you? I promise to be the best little piggy in the exhibit.



Oh, wait!, one good thing did happen today. I had a very nice compliment from a passenger. A man in his 50s. As he was leaving, he stuck his hand out to shake my hand, smiled at me, and said, "You've been a great little hostess today. Thanks." And with that, he left.

14 comments:

annie said...

warm bread with butter is one of my downfalls, as is any type of ice cream. you're committed to living a healthy life, brother, so don't be too harsh on yourself. remember all the bacon we used to eat growing up, until dad had his heart attack? yep, so do i.

Kelly said...

is this going to lead to pig sex too... if so, keep eating and shoot video... tee hee... I know, how can i be so humerous with only one cup of coffee in me...

Wayne said...

"a great little hostess"
Isn't that sweet!

Callie said...

I would love to have sat in first class and had some of that bread. Bread is one of my favorite snacks!

Say "hi" to Mason for me!

Breenlantern said...

I hate that you can eat like that and still look amazing...please please please give me an infusion of your metabolism and motivation. I desperately need it.

tornwordo said...

I hope you blew him a kiss for that.

bridgeout said...

"...'eat me, eat me' (and I know you've all seen that look before)"...

Heck yes I have seen and heard that before! One of my favorite looks!! ;)

Lemuel said...

I hope you courtsied for the nice man!

anne marie in philly said...

"a great little hostess"?!? WTF???

either he was drunk or legally blind or you had on a skirt...nah, he must have been drunk!

the crap you put up with from the public is quite hideous, IMHO.

have a good week!

travelling, but not in love said...

Hostess with the mostest, eh? I always knew it.

Ur-spo said...

well it could have been worse - a hoho rather than a hostess.

cb said...

hostess?? Hmmm

Billy said...

Great little hostess - now that had me giggling...

Steven said...

Oh gosh did I totally misread this at first. I actually thought you ate your passengers' leftovers. AACCKK!!

Glad to hear that you got your fill. You need to put meat on "dem bones!"