Why is it that sometimes we want more for others than they want for themselves? I know that you understand exactly the plane from which I'm operating.....you see someone and their struggle and you want it to be different for them than it is. Sometimes it changes, many times it does not. No matter what happens, they seem to keep on dealing with the same issues over and over, year after year. In fact, in some situations, they actually appear to LIKE their circle of dysfunction. Hubby and I have had this conversation many times in our 12 years together. Someone drinks too much and we wish they'd not do so. Someone else struggles with being overweight -- they talk about it, pretend to try and eat well, they even talk about other people who are overweight -- and yet they change nothing. Their unhealthiness continues. And others are left to wish they could get their head and heart around their situation and get a handle on it once and for all. Or possibly a friend who is in the closet tries and tries to get out of it. But their family or friends or "situation" just precludes them from doing so. And people like us who are around them wish and hope and dream that they could be true to themselves -- but we know that they never will....they'll go to their graves with a secret. Or what about those who just never seem to have enough money to pay for their own way to dinner or the things in their lives that they not only need, but want. But on the other hand, they have plenty of money when it comes time for spending it in ways that we may not choose to. Or those that go to counseling year after year after year -- only to never get ahead. The same struggle they faced ten years ago is still with them today. And how about those who seem to exude gloom and doom whenever you're around them....they suck the life right out of you. You may even give them a magazine article or special book meant to help bring new light to their situation....but, "no thanks"....they don't want it. They actually appear to love the negative life they lead. I'm here to say that I hate the repeated gloom and doom. Hate. It.
You know full well that there are folks in their lives, like us, who wish and hope and pray for a different level of happiness in their lives. We want their struggle to stop. We even get sick and tired of hearing about it throughout the years, don't we? I know I do. It's like we'd almost like them to stop talking about the situation if they aren't willing to do anything about it. You can look right into their lives and know that if they did this or that, they'd be so much better off. It's easy to diagnose, simple to spot, and yet they can't seem to.
Possibly they are happy. I'm doubting that it's true in a very high percentage of cases, but it is possible, I will concede. I have a hard time thinking that anyone could be truthfully happy while struggling through their entire lives. But then there is this thing that we focus on in yoga from time to time -- that we develop the ability to see the good and the light in others. Namaste. And that, kids, is one hell of a big job sometimes. I think it's going to be an ongoing journey for me. I'll bet that hubby and I will still be having this conversation many years from now. Wishing and hoping the best for others, even if they can't get to it for themselves.