07:00am *** Portland International Airport *** Men's Restroom Just Past Security
I enter the men's room completely alone, in uniform, pulling my little day bag behind me. There is no one in the place. It's completely quiet. I approach urinal #1, my usual. My bag is parked next to it where there is a bit of room for bags to be stashed temporarily. Doing my thing, faced straight ahead, until I hear two guys enter. I had to glance....after all, it's the men's room and one mustn't miss out on anything important. I see two of the most handsome straight (?) young guys enter. One goes into the stall right behind me, one continues down a few before he enters a stall as well. Remember, it's completely quiet -- until all hell breaks loose in one stall or the other. The doors shook. The paint cracked. I imagine that with that sort of exerted propulsion, that someone's ass cheeks actually probably rose up off of the toilet seat. And then, just as I'm zipping up in a hurry to leave, I hear it....out loud, clearly:
"Damned fish tacos. Never again." I couldn't agree more. And why, in spite of thinking that many straight men are sooooo dreamy and good looking, did I think less of them after this?