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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I've Done Been to Church

I think I've done been to church. After a ten-day hiatus from the gym because of this stinkin' cold, I decided I needed to get this middle-aged arse kick started again. So, I made my way to the gym this afternoon and did a little lifting, little core/ab work, and a little treadmill before yoga with my friend Melanie. I took a pee, blew my nose as much as I could to clear out the head so I didn't sniffle my way through a meditative hour of yoga. (One good thing is that some nice looking dude working his self on the stair stepper just happened to be 100% naked when I went down to clear out my pipes....sort of like the icing on the cake when you get to actually see the whole package.) I made my way back into the yoga classroom and, low and behold, another nice looking guy smiles at me as I head over next to Melanie who clearly noticed us checking each other out (I thought I was more discrete than that but apparently not). These are always challenges for me. I've discussed in the past how yoga is all about focus, balance, centering, breathing, setting aside all other thoughts and troubles. So whenever there is a nice looking guy or some other distraction near me, it's a real mental workout for me. Not that I was staring at his tweaked-out arms or his fuzzy belly or nice feet or the thatch of fur under his arms. Oh no, not me -- I do have a bit of decorum, although not much. And then it happened during the Warrior II pose. I glance at his right foot and see none other than a tattoo....cool, I thought. Until I read "Proverbs 25:21." Holy Ghost Yoga Batman! Even all of my church-going days and memorize scripture until I was blue in the face didn't help me now...think, think, think -- I could not recall that particular scripture. I was going to have to wait until I got home to check it out. And so the hour continues --

Nearing the end of the hour, all of a sudden I'm hearing some words in the music that are drawing my attention. As if Proverbs 25:21 isn't quite enough, I'm now hearing "holy" this and "Jehovah" that in one of the music pieces she's playing. "Peace to all, love to all, life to all," the song continues. I never could quite place it. Could she really be playing Christian music in a yoga class? I guess it's possible. And combined with the scripture-on-the-sexy-footed man, all I needed was a dose of holy water to be splashed about my sweaty brow and I'd be all set.

The hour concluded. He disappeared. I felt good about getting back to flushing a few toxins out of my sick body. Melanie disappeared to her car and I followed Mr. Christian Sexy Man to his car....right next to mine. How convenient. And with that, he lit up a cigarette, smiled at me again, and cranked up his non-Christian music. Man, am I ever confused.

Oh, and case you're wondering and don't have a Bible on hand or haven't already clicked on the link above, let me save you some time: "If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink." Amen.

18 comments:

Java said...

Very interesting trip to the gym, Lewis.

Gregorio said...

Wow, sounds like an interesting visit to the gym!! :) Never know what you might find...

Tony (LT) said...

And if you stalker is hungry?...

Billy said...

So if you show up at my door I will giveyou more than just water to drink and food to eat. I will prepare a feast on the patio with wine and fresh produce from the garden...

So plan that trip already!

Rick said...

Interesting yoga experience. I'll have to go more often!

Lemuel said...

In checking my Oxford Annotated (c. 1962) for the Proverbs reference (which btw is quoted by Paul in Romans 12 and "echoed" by Jesus in Matthew 5), I found the following footnote very interesting in light of some current political themes: "...torture is less effective than mercy, or the best way to take vengeance on one's enemy is to be merciful to him."

I find it interesting that we never hear this theme from the "super pious" on the right.

Blair said...

I pray that his morning that I have time to make a trip to the gym with my honey today. It's been a while for me as well. Or sounds like I could at least just make it to the locker room.

I know I shouldn't let him go to church by himself anymore.....

Can I get an "Amen"?

bridgeout said...

Chuckling... what a conglomeration of experiences and sensory input. The interesting duplicity of presentations from that gentleman is both fascinating, and yet familiar.

Mark in DE said...

That's an "interesting" scripture for a tattoo.

I think I'd have trouble concentrating too if I belonged to your gym. Oh well... concentration may be over-rated!

Greg said...

He had that tattoo on his foot....

Hmmm......

How many people are going to see it there...besides you in yoga? ;-)

Allogenes said...

I'm sorry, but I just can't get to the meat of the story because of a nagging scene in my head from the opening of the post. Did you pee and blow your nose at the same time?

Ur-spo said...

Happily I always took yoga classes with a lot of women, which allowed me to concentrate better on my positions.
distractions like what you had are .. well, distractive.

thank you ducks for quoting me today.
you are a dear.

Ryan said...

damn now i see what i got forward to look too when i get in the gym ages haha preach on!

kisses

cb said...

And it sho' sound like you hungry!!

Wallee said...

wow what a trip
wallee

Wallee said...

wow what a trip
wallee

David said...

The song is by Snatam Kaur and the song is "By Thy Grace" and is multi-denominational.

The lyric in question is:
"Rama, Jehovah, Allah, Satayama"

If you went to church, it was Unitarian.

WAT said...

My oh my. I dare say you and I are so easily distracted by many of the SAME things.