I've Done Been to Church

I think I've done been to church. After a ten-day hiatus from the gym because of this stinkin' cold, I decided I needed to get this middle-aged arse kick started again. So, I made my way to the gym this afternoon and did a little lifting, little core/ab work, and a little treadmill before yoga with my friend Melanie. I took a pee, blew my nose as much as I could to clear out the head so I didn't sniffle my way through a meditative hour of yoga. (One good thing is that some nice looking dude working his self on the stair stepper just happened to be 100% naked when I went down to clear out my pipes....sort of like the icing on the cake when you get to actually see the whole package.) I made my way back into the yoga classroom and, low and behold, another nice looking guy smiles at me as I head over next to Melanie who clearly noticed us checking each other out (I thought I was more discrete than that but apparently not). These are always challenges for me. I've discussed in the past how yoga is all about focus, balance, centering, breathing, setting aside all other thoughts and troubles. So whenever there is a nice looking guy or some other distraction near me, it's a real mental workout for me. Not that I was staring at his tweaked-out arms or his fuzzy belly or nice feet or the thatch of fur under his arms. Oh no, not me -- I do have a bit of decorum, although not much. And then it happened during the Warrior II pose. I glance at his right foot and see none other than a tattoo....cool, I thought. Until I read "Proverbs 25:21." Holy Ghost Yoga Batman! Even all of my church-going days and memorize scripture until I was blue in the face didn't help me now...think, think, think -- I could not recall that particular scripture. I was going to have to wait until I got home to check it out. And so the hour continues --

Nearing the end of the hour, all of a sudden I'm hearing some words in the music that are drawing my attention. As if Proverbs 25:21 isn't quite enough, I'm now hearing "holy" this and "Jehovah" that in one of the music pieces she's playing. "Peace to all, love to all, life to all," the song continues. I never could quite place it. Could she really be playing Christian music in a yoga class? I guess it's possible. And combined with the scripture-on-the-sexy-footed man, all I needed was a dose of holy water to be splashed about my sweaty brow and I'd be all set.

The hour concluded. He disappeared. I felt good about getting back to flushing a few toxins out of my sick body. Melanie disappeared to her car and I followed Mr. Christian Sexy Man to his car....right next to mine. How convenient. And with that, he lit up a cigarette, smiled at me again, and cranked up his non-Christian music. Man, am I ever confused.

Oh, and case you're wondering and don't have a Bible on hand or haven't already clicked on the link above, let me save you some time: "If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink." Amen.