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Saturday, March 21, 2009

Light in the Loafers

We park in the Employee Parking Lot for work and then ride a shuttle bus from the parking lot into the Portland International Airport. It's about a 10 minute drive. The employees on the bus range from flight attendants and pilots to customer service agents, TSA screeners, baggage handlers, Port of Portland employees, and mechanics. The buses can be crowded, as it was today on my back out to my car after my Long Beach turn. People are sardined in that thing like you wouldn't believe sometimes. So today I am next to some guy I don't know. And he's on his phone like the rest of the world. But his conversation was a bit extra loud and sparked my interest right off of the bat. I hate to stereotype but it just occurred to me that he was a bit on the effeminate side for the rough-and-tough job he had working on the ramp. His voice was a bit on the higher side and he had that definite spark that may signal light in the loafers in the right situation. So, here goes his conversation on his phone:

POSSIBLY LIGHT IN LOAFERS MAN: "Remember when you told me that you didn't think my fiance liked you?"

I heard the word "fiance" and had to look. I just had to. Fiance? Really? And then it was obvious that the person on the other end of the line didn't hear him well.....so he repeated the above question even more loudly a second time.

PLILM: "Yeah, well last night she said to me that you and I spend quite a bit of time together and she didn't think I should be spending so much time with you, Matt."

Matt? Now, I'm all ears and practically staring. I was using as much decorum as possible. I can be quite professional in the right situations but this wasn't one of them. I wanted to grab the dude by the scruff of the neck and ask him what side his bread was buttered on. Hope he gets that little 3-way arrangement worked out soon.....before the wedding. Because, believe me, things can get a little testy later on, if you know what I mean. Wives can be so not understanding in those sorts of situations.

17 comments:

Ultra Dave said...

Best of both worlds?

TED said...

A woman who won't let a guy spend time with his best friend is no catch, regardless of whether the guy and his friend are going to ball games or just balling.

Rob Inukshuk said...

Oh dear me. He is a fool and she is deluding herself. I wish them luck. Matt on the other hand, I feel sorry for him. I've been there and it's not a nice place, filled with promises that will only end in tears.

John said...

There were so many opportunities to back out leading up to my unfortunate nuptials. The two biggest... my best friend at the time wouldn't be my Best Man because he knew I was gay AND the boy with whom I had a 'special' relationship, kissing me 'one last time'(it wouldn't be) in the Groom Room at the church.

It took me 15 years to escape.

Lemuel said...

O Lewis! Do an intervention. Kidnap the guy and send him here. I'll duct tape him to a chair and paint him a vivd picture. I'll need to go no further than Exhibit A - me.

bridgeout said...

I agree! An intervention is in order! ;)
AH! What can we say... he is most likely GBDKIY (gay but doesn't know it yet...). Like you said though... ideally one would discover this before hand.

Mark in DE said...

LOL - too funny!

Anthony said...

have a friend like that ... but that's another story ....

Java said...

OMG, John's story is heartbreaking! Of course I realize your story has a similar gist.

I'm in the intervention camp.

tomaspdx said...

BIL...I wonder if this is the same ramper I rode IN on the bus with this morning talking to some guy named Matt about being nice to his women.... OK j/k...

Ur-spo said...

why oh why do people talk on their gd phone in public? They assume we will all pretend not to hear.
When I am being a bitch I make it obvious I am listening and finding it funny. They get annoyed naturally but I point out it is hard not to 'not hear'.

Wayne said...

I have a friend I used to go to the gay bars with when we were young. He wanted kids and got married. Now 35 years later, He tells his wife he's gay and wants a divorce. Crazy people.

Sorted Lives said...

GOOD GOD! Sounds like me and my ex 11 years ago. Deja vu

cb said...

Why cain't I quit yew, Matt??

WAT said...

Was the dude next to you HOT?

And what does MATT look like?!

I'm so very interested now too, and I wasn't even there!

LOL!

travelling, but not in love said...

Love it. Very funny...I love overheard conversations like this.

Gregorio said...

Ha ha! I also have overheard several conversations just like that one! Ha ha! Wouldn't you just like to just pull the guy up by the collar and tell him, Hey man or honey, lol! You're gay!!

I've known many many times that someone was gay before he actually "knew it." Awh...Life...