Or, if you'd prefer, Lordosis. Brings on visions of an old horse, doesn't it? I think I have it. In fact, I think I've had it for years. Oh now, listen to me being Mr. Diagnosis Doctor for myself. The truth is that I don't know what it is, or what I have, but it has been with me for a long time. It's embarrassing. I remember being around a swimming pool in Mexico in 1997 when one of my buddies yelled across the pool, "Hey, would you look at old swayback over there!" as he was pointing at me. Now, this was the year that I had just been divorced, came out, and was developing a new sense of myself. On a giant learning curve of self-discovery. It was the very last thing I needed to hear. I was still self-conscious about my body, my sexuality, and a whole lot of other unknowns. And I remember that comment and its effect on me to this day. Today, I'd tell him to F-off and poke my stomach out in some contorted gyration for effect and for everyone to see. But way back then......oh no. I ran and hid, at least emotionally.
You see, I've got a lower back that seems to be swayed in more than it should. And that makes my little tummy poke out in the front more than it should. I've tried chiropractic care. And I go to yoga regularly now in an effort to improve my flexibility and balance. And it's very common in yoga to hear phrases like "Keep your belly button tucked in" or "Make sure your tailbone is tucked down." It's all in an effort to keep proper posture. And I've learned that there are even yoga poses that I am not able to do without pain....my body simply won't work the way that some poses require. And it's something I deal with nearly 100% of every single day. Whether I'm sitting, standing, or even lying down -- I'm in nearly continual adjustment to relieve my lower back pain. And to keep my stomach from sticking out and my low back in proper alignment. I nearly always have a pillow behind my low back no matter where I am. Long periods of sitting require me to adjust, shift, move even a bit to lessen the pain. I'm always thinking ahead to exactly how I'm bending, reaching, stretching to reach down at work.....never doing anything without thinking before I act.
So, I could go to this doctor. And he'd send me to that doctor. And there'd be this test and then that test. And I tried to have a regular MRI which sent me into fits of claustrophobia. But then I finally succeeded at having an open MRI done of my entire spine. It showed some age-related arthritis but nothing severe. I'm not really sure why I'm even telling you all of this. Probably just in case you see me looking all funny with my baby belly laying out over the top of my leather Gucci belt. You'll know that I'm trying, I really am. Shoulders back, shoulder blades down. Belly in. Tailbone down and tucked. I go through it a hundred times a day. And the next time you're thinking about calling me, or anybody else, names like Old Swayback, um...yeah, go ahead and see how that works for you.