Yes, it's true. I have that horribly dry, sometimes indiscernible, sense of humor about me that occasionally leads me down the wrong trail. I have been misunderstood more than once in my life. I've had to explain myself when someone took me far too seriously. More than once, I've caught someone looking at me....watching, wondering. And I know the look well. They are trying to figure me out. Trying to figure out if this guy is for real or not. In fact, I've been told that if I were ever to lose my voice and be unable to communicate with my voice, that there would be no problem knowing exactly what I'm thinking because of the looks on my face. I mean, if I hear something stupid or silly, you'll know it because I'm going to be looking at your like you've just made, well, a very silly or stupid comment. I've had friends call or email me and say, "I know you probably didn't mean anything by it but....." And I've had to say, "I'm sorry for the confusion." I've even been put in the not so comfortable place of having to answer to friends for silly actions or comments by myself. I hate those times. And I wish they'd never happen. You see, my mouth gets into gear and can't quit sometimes. My energy or emotion will take over and, before you know it, I've done something I wish I hadn't. I joke, and people don't get it. Or I'm honest, and they are offended. I'm a complicated guy, I guess. Or flirting. Oh boy. Flirting. I'm amazed how many guys will flirt but get totally discombobulated if it goes to heavy flirting (sort of like heavy petting but without the pet part). They just can't deal with it. And yes, I'm a flirter. With nearly everyone. But it's led me into the Cafe of Trouble more than once. People just don't know when to think I'm serious and when I'm not. Thankfully, there are more than a few folks who do love me for who I am and even a few that totally get off on my humor and weak attempts at being funny.
So, do I stop being myself....being who I really am? Because that's going to not be a pretty day, my little Easter lambs. I mean, I spent more than half of my glorious life in a dark closet being ultra careful and uber aware of every single word and movement that I made -- and I ain't goin' back. Maybe I should have a custom t-shirt or big button made that I can wear to warn people what smart ass I am and that I may very well be misunderstood and mistreated just like Jon Secada.