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Thursday, April 09, 2009

Misunderstood

Yes, it's true. I have that horribly dry, sometimes indiscernible, sense of humor about me that occasionally leads me down the wrong trail. I have been misunderstood more than once in my life. I've had to explain myself when someone took me far too seriously. More than once, I've caught someone looking at me....watching, wondering. And I know the look well. They are trying to figure me out. Trying to figure out if this guy is for real or not. In fact, I've been told that if I were ever to lose my voice and be unable to communicate with my voice, that there would be no problem knowing exactly what I'm thinking because of the looks on my face. I mean, if I hear something stupid or silly, you'll know it because I'm going to be looking at your like you've just made, well, a very silly or stupid comment. I've had friends call or email me and say, "I know you probably didn't mean anything by it but....." And I've had to say, "I'm sorry for the confusion." I've even been put in the not so comfortable place of having to answer to friends for silly actions or comments by myself. I hate those times. And I wish they'd never happen. You see, my mouth gets into gear and can't quit sometimes. My energy or emotion will take over and, before you know it, I've done something I wish I hadn't. I joke, and people don't get it. Or I'm honest, and they are offended. I'm a complicated guy, I guess. Or flirting. Oh boy. Flirting. I'm amazed how many guys will flirt but get totally discombobulated if it goes to heavy flirting (sort of like heavy petting but without the pet part). They just can't deal with it. And yes, I'm a flirter. With nearly everyone. But it's led me into the Cafe of Trouble more than once. People just don't know when to think I'm serious and when I'm not. Thankfully, there are more than a few folks who do love me for who I am and even a few that totally get off on my humor and weak attempts at being funny.

So, do I stop being myself....being who I really am? Because that's going to not be a pretty day, my little Easter lambs. I mean, I spent more than half of my glorious life in a dark closet being ultra careful and uber aware of every single word and movement that I made -- and I ain't goin' back. Maybe I should have a custom t-shirt or big button made that I can wear to warn people what smart ass I am and that I may very well be misunderstood and mistreated just like Jon Secada.

22 comments:

Breenlantern said...

I love and accept you 100% the way you are and wouldn't want you any other way. So count me in the column of unconditional love an acceptance, baby!

Ultra Dave said...

I like the idea if a button,you can add it to whatever you are wearing that day. Of course those who know you just roll their eyes and go about their day.

Robert said...

You? A flirter? You?? No! Absolutely not. I don't see that in you one bit! NO! Owait, yes I do. Yes yes, a HUGE flirter in fact. I know it. You're doing it to me now aren't you?? Hmm... You heavy flirter you!

Well I'm offended!!! No I'm not! Flirt away! heh! Hope you have a great Friday Arnie! hehe! xo, r

Kelly said...

I think you should be you.. I actually had this conversation with a straight blogger tonite... we all have to figure where to draw the line, but we have to feel comfortable where that line is drawn, whether it is between work and blog or friends and blog.... I am me and you are you... I think we are fine....

Stacey said...

Heh, nearly that whole first paragraph could describe me. My husband told me today, "How do you get into these situations? Can't you just decide not to say anything?" Yeah, well, by the time I've decided not to say anything, I've already said something. Oops.

So, yeah.

Oh, and I hooted when you mentioned Jon Secada. I made my brother's ears bleed with that album. teehee! (not sure I could listen to it these days without turning a little green, and not in a good way, but at the time...)

Doug said...

Did you just ask if you should stop being you??? Um, hellooooo! No way! Once you've found yourself, hold onto that with all your might! It's what the rest of us are striving for.

Lemuel said...

My wife can tell that I'm "telling someone off" from seeing the back of my head. Like the communication of your facial expressions, the back of my head does not let me get away with anything.

heat said...

It totally beats the hell out of being asked what you are thinking or what's going through your mind a half a million times a day. I'm the least complicated person in the world (i.e. simpleton, not afraid to admit it) But always get the "I can never tell what's going through your head" from people.

heat said...

It totally beats the hell out of being asked what you are thinking or what's going through your mind a half a million times a day. I'm the least complicated person in the world (i.e. simpleton, not afraid to admit it) But always get the "I can never tell what's going through your head" from people.

Stephen said...

I also have a very dry sense of humor & a deadpan face that get me into trouble when people don't understand that I am kidding.
You can flirt with me anytime (oops there I go flirting again)!

bridgeout said...

Was that 'Cafe of Trouble' in Bridgeport Village when we were strolling around last week? ;)

Really though... you just have to be YOU Lewis!!! My sweet sensitive wife with the mouth of a sailor would say 'F*#k 'em if they can't take a joke.' :)

dit said...

I understand what you are saying. I have many of the same problems. lol. Often say what seems to be the wrong thing, or take things too far.Over the years, I've learned to be a little more diplomatic and stop my mouth. Anyway, keep being yourself my friend, and continue to communicate when you are sorry or misunderstood. For what its worth . . . . I wouldn't change a thing. 8-)

Stash said...

you know I have this horrible feeling like I should know who Jon Secada is but I don't.

so who is he? *rushes off to look him up on wikipedia*

you should be who you are. anyone who has a problem with that can fuck off.

ps. i respond to heavy petting. =P

Anonymous said...

If you stopped being yourself I'd
have to come up there and kick
your skinny a$$ from there to here
and back again...You're perfect
just the way you are...


TACKLE YOU HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!

Laurie

Nathan said...

Well, for what it's worth, I think we're all complicated. The people who scare me the most are the ones who claim to be "simple" or "easy going". Watch out, those are the most complicated at all!

So at least you've given fair warning :D

Ur-spo said...

I read this and it was 'spot on me' viz. the same problem of quiwrky humor and pandemic flirting always causing friction.
we are two peas in a pod

under no circumstances alter who you are.
that's my vote and I am sticking with it.

Blair said...

I love you just the way you are.....

Be the man I fell deeply in love with 12 years ago and am still deeply in love with today....

Plus, you continue to keep me in stitches!

wcs said...

Uh, I'm not quite sure what you mean... and I feel just a bit offended by it.

Bwahahahahahaa! :-)

annie said...

uhhhhh, is family allowed to comment on this? mmmmm, maybe not today...

CJ said...

Man, Lewis sounds like you're describing me. I totally relate. I like you just the way you are.

Would that be an "easy" button?

Mark in DE said...

You may be right in that your previous life of careful personal editting so as to not give away your real thoughts is simply out of the question now.

I think that if people misunderstand you, it is likely because they really haven't gotten to know you.

Michael Guy said...

Well, my dad always said to me: "That mouth of yours is gonna' get you into trouble someday."

What it got me was a nice boyfriend and condo. HAR! I kid...

I say 'fuck it'...be yourself. We spend half our lives living the rules/expectations of others for fear of retribution in the workplace/family/etc. Your friends will always be your friends. Just know when to put a lid on it, I guess. Hugs!