* * * My Words, My World, My Way * * *

Please Write: ALewisPDX@gmail.com

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Boo Hoo -- It's Hallowed Weenie !!

Today marks Halloween. The last day of October. It was one year ago today that I marched myself with glamour and glitz down to the 24 Hour Fitness near our home. A nice gym, busier than you know what, and signed up for our monthly corporate fitness rate. I was an animal all winter long. Yoga numerous times a week along with the free weights, treadmill, and floor/core who-hah. Then the nicer weather of late spring and summer arrived and my staring-at-the-handsome-men-in-the-gym-time went to nearly zero. I've been giving a ton of thought to the ins and outs of motivation. What motivates each of us in different ways. The internal versus external motivational factors. What makes one person totally get into going to the gym and what makes others never step a foot into a gym in their entire lives. I have no conclusion here. I enjoyed my time there. A lot. But where is the motivation? What happens inside me that short-circuits my actually getting there. I suppose it's precisely the same as my advice to alcoholics: "Put down the bottle." It's that simple, really. "Get thee in the Camry and drive the 1.3 miles to the gym," is what will solve my not going...right? But, wait, there's a big giant "I'd rather stay home" Monster between me and the gym...........

Two weeks ago we saw Company. A Sondheim musical. Honestly, we've been together 12 years and have seen very little live theater. And that's weird because we both love it. We've never even made time to see the Oregon Symphony which is something we'd love to do. Company starred our longtime friend Andrew. He was amazing. Perfect. And I was able to add Company to my list of things I've done in my life.

Since we live in a condo building where the trick-or-treater component is absolute zero, we decided to go and see Portland's version of The Beggar's Opera tonight. Another good friend Stephen is the director of it. I know next to nothing about opera. I've seen exactly, precisely, one opera in my life -- Mozart's The Magic Flute in Prague....in the very theater that The Magic Flute was performed at in the late 1700s. And the very theater that Mozart himself directed it in. A very very exciting night, to say the least. And, so, tonight.....Portland's Beggar's Opera.

MIL continues to be fine, not great, but at least functioning alone semi-well. You see, in spite of whatever physical issues she has going, her emotional instability plays into the physical easily, quickly, smoothly. She has been prescribed both antianxiety and antidepression medications. But she doesn't take them....well, "unless I need them." She allows her emotions, high-highs and low-lows to take over her body and drag her physical self right down the tubes. She cries wolf. She doesn't ask for what she needs but, instead, makes up little stories and plays games so that everything is a watered-down, clear-as-mud mess when it comes to figuring out exactly what she is saying and needing. The connection between one's emotion/head games and physical ailments is closely knit. A minimal physical ailment can be turned into a full-blown hospital stay within hours......And it's hard to for this type-A guy to play into that crap.

Lover Boy just ordered me The Conscious Cook by Tal Ronnen after I saw him on the Oprah show. "Delicious meatless recipes that will change the way you eat," is his claim to fame on the front of the book. I glanced through it last night and fell in love. Although I do have to say (and this would be as good of time to do so as any), that as a nearly-vegetarian guy, I am not overly in love with a couple of the foods that typically find themselves into vegetarian recipes: Tofu and Mushrooms. I mean, they're okay....but they are not my favorites. And it seems that they are in a high percentage of veggie recipes. So, I'm going to dive in to the book and see what happens (well, not actually dive into the book....but you know what I mean.....don't you????).

Also, as a side note, it will be four years ago tomorrow (November 1) that we embarked on one of our favorite vacations with our good friends. We flew from Portland-Chicago-Krakow, Poland. We visited Auschwitz and fell in love with this perfectly old and beautiful Eastern European city. We took the train from Krakow to Prague where we saw the The Magic Flute (mentioned above) along with the Czech National Symphony Orchestra. We left Prague on the train for Dresden, Germany, and had a ball in this city that was nearly totally destroyed in one single bombing raid during WW2. So, in spite of the fact that it looks old today, it actually isn't -- it's been rebuilt to visually look old. Weird.

This crap's gone on long enough for today folks. I've got a bad Halloween attitude to deal with......gotta run (and, please Mary!, could there be any more links in this post.....for god's sake, give it up with the links............)


Edmund said...

see you at the gym? Let try to do "Gospel Christmas" the Oregon Symphony will perform...Dec 11-13

Larry Ohio said...

I never knew they rebuilt Dresden to look old. Any time I saw modern pics of it I just figured the city wasn't as badly destroyed as I learned in school. Happy Halloweeny!

Jim said...

Congrats on staying with the workouts!

annie said...

hmmm. "just put down the bottle" is simple yet complicated. we're dealing with a disease here, and those who find recovery are the blessed.

that being said, high-highs and low-lows are a subject i can personally comment on. without medication, meditation, journaling and friends, i can be tormented to no end.

gyms? jims? gems? no comment. i think anyone who sets foot in a gym even once is a hero!

i would like you guys to make me a promise that you will go see the oregon symphony. shall i buy the tickets? or just come over there and babysit? please, for sissie.

okay, mary, now i've forgotten what the topic was.....with that i'll close.

anne marie in philly said...

BOO! to you and blair and mason!

Michael Ray said...

Only 1.3 miles to the gym?! Get your ass out of the Camry and bike/walk or jog there and then back. It will give you time to think, sing, talk to yourself and basically just enjoy your life. Have a happy Halloween!

Java said...

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing about the 1.3 miles to the gym (walk don't drive) but that would be highly hypocritical. It's about that far from my home to school, and I've never walked it. Too unmotivated, you know?

Sounds like the MIL's attitude is getting to you. Understandable, really. She's in a difficult situation, and that puts you and your sweetie in the mess, too. Hang tough, baby. Breathe deeply and all that shit.

bridgeout said...

Happy Hallowed Weenie to my two fav. PDX boys!!! :-D HUGS!!
Oh, and enjoy the Macbooks!!

cb said...

Are you dressed up as Amelia Earhart in that top photo? ;-)

Geoff said...

Motivation is a tough one to figure out, I agree. For me I think it fluctuates. I've never been to an opera in my life, but in the context of your visit to see the magic flute, I would've had a blast! What an amazing experience!

Ur-spo said...

I enjoyed reading your updates.
I hope the next 12 months is even better with your workouts.