Sunset North of Michigan

The sun had just gone down and was casting the most amazing brilliant redish-orangish glow in the sky off the right side of the aircraft. It was 2:20pm on my watch, three hours behind actuality. We were passing over the north of Michigan state, my First Class service was complete, and I sat down to read a single sentence in Armistead Maupin's book Michael Tolliver Lives. It's on page 14 if you're interested and it reads: "Some people think we finally become adults when both our parents have died; for me it happened when someone desired the person I'd become." It got me to thinking a bit introspectively about life, death, relationships, growing up, changing, or not changing.

It was then that the captain called me for a pee-pee break which means that I go into the flight deck while he comes out. It was dark up there as my eyes focused on the many bells and whistles and colored instrument panels that lay before me. I always glance at the big screen that shows where we are and which cities we're passing over and which airports are nearest to us in case we ever need to make an emergency diversion. And I saw the flight path which included a direct hit over Albany, New York. "KALB" is how it looks on the instrument in the airplane -- and don't ask me what the "K" stands for. I have no idea. I pour coffee for a living for god's sake.

Albany is home to many of my dear friends. I was headed to Boston, 160 miles east of Albany, for a one-night layover. I haven't been back to this area of the country since last July when we joined all of our Albany friends (and a million other sexy bear men) at Bear Week in Provincetown. What a super great week we had. But we also had a bit of trouble in P-Town. Potentially friend-threatening trouble. Totally skipping every single detail, because I simply cannot rehash it any more than I already have in my heart and soul, I will simply tell you that I got tears in my eyes as I tried to stare out the window ahead of our 500mph moving airplane last night. I was speaking with another friend recently who told me how much he valued me, both Blair and me. How much he enjoyed being around us and how much we meant to him. And that we would always be considered a valuable part of his life, no matter what. I started to cry during that phone conversation (god, is it my time of the month or what). I feel amazingly poorly about the rift, the crevice, that has been dumped into the middle of this beautiful friendship -- and into my life as a whole. So, we passed over KALB rapidly and discretely overhead. I wonder if my friends just happened to glance overhead and see me? Because I saw them.

And that reminds me, it's only a few days until the most thankful holidays of all....Thanksgiving.