UPDATE: Some readers have drawn the conclusion that this post may be about my own relationship with LoverBoy. They couldn't be more wrong. All is quite well in our home. It's a quite general topic for discussion.
Yeah, so is there a limit to what you/we/me/us/anybody should expect from our husbands/wives/ partners/whoever when it comes to us permitting them to "be themselves" or them allowing us to "be ourselves"? What do you think?
I mean, you'll find that I'm pretty open minded when allowing others to have their own thought patterns and ideas....even if I don't agree with you. I may very well play devil's advocate -- and choose the other side -- even if I really do agree with you! I love to stir the pot and ask lots of questions. And I'm totally for allowing each of us to choose our own roads in life and make our own decisions.
But what if we're headed toward the deep end of the pool? What if we're being rude to someone? What if we are actually (gasp!) WRONG? What if we are truly making a poor decision -- financially, in a relationship, work related, life choices sort of thing. I'm not talking about which restaurant to scoot into for dinner. I'm talking about whether you, or me, would say to our life partner "Hey, I don't think you're making a very good decision -- I wouldn't do that if I were you." Yikes. And, hey now, what if alcohol or drugs are involved? How about domestic violence? What if you steal something? Would you think it okay if your partner spoke up about it? I mean, in this 2010 day and age of allowing everybody to fend for themselves, let it be, don't make waves, and all of that.....what do you think about when you see somebody headed toward WrongVille? What happens when someone is so focused (or not focused) and headed, truly, toward a cliff of no return. What happens when relationships are destroyed or career choices are ruined? Is it okay to say nothing to your partner and just chalk it up to "They'll have to make their own decisions." Meanwhile, the other partner just stands there. Doing nothing. Watching. It just feels weird sometimes. On both sides of the issue. What happens when you honestly disagree with your partner? Do you speak up? Or do you allow them to fail. To make poor decisions. To be rude to someone else. To take a financial jump into the abyss. To not do the positive, healthy thing. At which point do we speak up? At which point do we butt out?