Umm, yeah....so ..... a little uncomfortable here..... but, hey, let's just dive right into the deep end of the pool...shall we? Bring a life preserver. I don't want anybody drowning.
Exactly, precisely, when does one draw the line on a relationship? End it. Say, "no thanks." I know, I know...it's completely different for each situation, each relationship. There are no precise answers. As adults, do you find yourself still fighting it out with people? Struggling to make sense of relationships? Going 'round and 'round with friends. Is there a limit? Or are we required to just keep on spinning the record hoping for a different sound out of the song the next time around? And please believe me when I say that this is not a post about a majority but, rather, an extremely small minority of relations in my life.
Now, and believe me when I say this, I'm no yummy piece of delicious homemade cheesecake to live with and even to be friends with. I can be moody. I know what I like and don't like. I will say "no" to invitations to things that I don't want to be a part of. I have an opinion, generally, and state it freely. I like to be alone many times. I like quiet and peaceful. I don't like drama and will not participate in it. Especially if it is someone else's drama. So I would never want to paint a holier-than-thou sort of picture of myself. But I do feel that, being an adult in my mid-life, that there are certain things I don't need to have in my life any longer. I have a core group of loyal, faithful friends. They love me, and I them. I am confident and secure in that. Then I've got an even larger group of folks who know me, mostly...but are not in my inner circle. You know that group -- we all have those subsections of our lives. And then there is that quite expansive group of Facebook friends, coworkers, and one-time folks that you meet. That's a very large group. I believe that I'm simply far too old to have to deal with some issues. I'm far too happy in such a giant chunk of this old life of mine, that I can't stand the thought of trying to sort out things for the umpteenth time. I lose interest after a while, you know?
I ran across a few articles on line recently. Relationship Struggle -- How Much Struggle Is Too Much Struggle? asks exactly that question. When it is just too much? And then another article was on Toxic Relationships and how to let go of them. I'm just tired of the ups and the downs.... the emotional highs and lows .... the merry-go-round that just won't quit.
I always try to ask myself what it is that I'm adding to each relationship that I have. What is it that I bring to the table in a positive, stable, adult sort of way? And what, pray tell, is it that I do to add a dark or unhealthy element to my relationship with you. I probably already know it. And I'm not afraid to acknowledge it. I'm most likely working on it. Or am I being the toxic part of a relationship. Am I the one who is dragging people down? And should I keep on keeping on? Keep on working it? Beating it. Trying to make it work. Hoping. Wishing. For what? What if it goes away? What if I declare the war over and just go home for a drink. Huh? What if?