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Sunday, September 19, 2010

Facebook

I've written in the past about my misgivings about Facebook. Oh, I know....it's the tell-all, be-all trendy deal that has taken the world by storm. I don't disagree with you there. But I'm not happy with it and haven't been for a bit. I enjoy some of the connections, some of the interaction, some of the way it has actually crafted my life...... Did you hear me? The way IT has crafted MY life. Rather than the way I have crafted my own life. It has taken over. And right now my life is feeling a bit out of control and a sort of unhappy place to be. So, I'm sending my relationship with Facebook on hiatus. Temporarily, perhaps. Permanently, probably not. But when she comes back, she must be a different girl than she was before.

I don't like having the same GINORMOUS group of friends as everyone else. In spite of the amazing group of people that I call my personal friends, I like my own people, my own friends and relationships. I don't like that every person in the world that I'm friends with have to also be friends with all of my friends. That's weird to me.

I don't like every single one of my FBF (Facebook Friends) knowing every damned thing about my entire life. I am definitely not that kind of guy. I like privacy, and quiet, and alone time.

I don't like having to say NO to family members or friends when they send me Friend Requests. I've asked. I've had to explain. I've had to put a sort of disclaimer or warning on my FB page. That I only ever wanted to have actual friends who are that....friends. I know a ton of people. That's my job. But simply because I know someone does not, in my own mind, mean I have to be their friend on FB. And that has become difficult. There are people on my FB friends list that I would never choose to spend time with or have relationships with outside of FB. I have family members on my list that have nothing in common with me. Why? I have friends on my list who are simply co-workers with me, not friends. Why? I have people who want to be my friends simply because they are my partner's friends....and vice versa. Why? Or why when someone becomes a friend of mine, they feel it is automatically necessary to send an immediate request to my partner? I have numerous people who are my friends on FB that I have "hidden" so that I don't have to read their posts or because I may owe them an explanation if I defriended them. Why? And then there are the stalkers....those who have zero interactive skills and never/rarely comment or are active. I just don't have time for that.

I also miss spending more time on my own blog than I used to. Facebook and Twitter have definitely taken their toll on the blogging world. I miss reading other's sites. And I miss having them read mine. I feel pressured and always in a hurry. I don't write much any longer, along with all of my former blogging friends. I feel pressured to put something out. And I don't like the shallowness, the cheapness, of Facebook. Its like a blip on the giant, complex sea of life.

It just doesn't all add up. It is strange. I don't want it to be a place about work, or bitching, or listening to chit chat about changing baby diapers. I know, I know....its a private, personal sort of thing and that I have complete control over who I have as friends and don't. But as easy as that is to say, it is a bit more complicated. So, for now at least, I'm sending Facebook away. For a break. You'll have to find me the old fashioned way via email, text, or voicemail if you're looking for me.

8 comments:

LSL said...

I totally feel you on this. My FB account has about 15 friends, and they are all family plus about 3 blogger friends. I don't post updates often and I don't read others often. And I decided that if I felt the need to "hide" someone, I'd just "unfriend" them. The whole thing is so fake and meaningless, and I miss reading REAL stories about peoples lives, and miss them reading mine. I hear you!

anne marie said...

I always look for you and blair here in the blogosphere. I don't have FB and never will; hell, I don't even have a blog! but I am the captain of my ship, and that's OK by me.

have a good week, boys!

J.P. said...

I agree with your feelings 100% on this. Like you, I feel that Facebook is a cheap, quickie version of what we used to do on blogs. Unfortunately there's just not as many bloggers as there used to be. Some post just to get hits on their blogs. I like to think that I write when I have something to say.

Now to just make time for it all.

Ryan said...

it was your idea!

thanks!

MonsieurGlass said...

Bravo! I deleted my Facebook last week as like you it was becoming too much and it was taking over my life. I'm new to blogging and I find that were I would read random crap on Facebook the new blog has given me time to think about whats important to me and what message I want to send - I've kept twitter only as a tool to promote the blog. You'll soon forget about Facebook.

Rick said...

You've got it right: Facebooks is definitely a personal tool for people to use as they so choose. Most use it as a vehicle to post what they "want" others to know about them. I find it interesting to try and read between the lines. Regardless, hope you continue you're blogging.

Jim said...

I've found my personal blog suffering from FB fatigue as well. You're quite right.

Dave2 said...

Word.

My Facebook account used to be for people I am actually friends with... people I know and trust and can spill stuff to that I can't write about on my blog.

But then people start getting all offended when you don't "approve" them, and so you end up with people you barely know as "friends" so you can't spill on Facebook any more.

So now I rarely bother to use Facebook, except those people I want to contact who don't go anywhere else. Why should I? The only reason I ever used it in the first place is gone. Everything else is on my blog.