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Thursday, November 18, 2010

Silence

Did you know how quiet one's phone can be? Except for the condolences and those checking on us to see if we need anything, it's been eerily silent. We've been in nearly constant chat all week long regarding the loss of his mother last Friday night. And the telephone was how she reached us. We have received several arrangements of amazing flowers. And a tons of cards in the U.S. Post. Even from those who we never thought we'd hear from again.

We spent last Sunday removing all of her belonging from her assisted living residence. Most went to Goodwill or the garbage. Some went to a shelter who clothes the homeless. We gave her bed away, the cane and walker to keep her stable were donated. And we've been reminiscing via old, really old, pictures and keepsakes. And her oxygen concentrator and portable tanks were picked up by the medical people who do that sort of thing. She was cremated on Monday afternoon.

I keep on checking in with LoverBoy. I can't imagine how it feels to lose both parents. To be alone in this world without those who brought you into it. He's a tough cookie. He's reasonable, patient, and has done an excellent job of getting to know his feelings. He's sorted out the good from the bad. Saturday is an open house and Celebration of Life for her....right here at our condominium.

Life ends up being so small at the end, it seems. Minute. Teeny tiny and baby. Nothing lasts. We end up all by ourselves with only the pajamas or gown that we die in. It's so strange. The bills don't matter. The idiosyncrasies seem to fade. Those things that we chose to elevate to a place of prominence are reduce to zip....zero. Bad attitudes have the life sucked out of them. And sometimes our enemies become our friends. Things do change, over and over, in our lives. We must move, shake, roll with it. Be pliable and flexible. I think that may be one of the keys to making this fast-passing time on earth a bit easier to deal with.

9 comments:

Stephen said...

We are so sorry for your loss.
I followed each step of your relationship with her, along with her recent moves.
You are both in my thoughts & heart.

Jim said...

Blair is lucky to have a wonderful husband like you! Give him a big hug from me.

Kelly said...

So sorry for what you guys are going through...be there for each other like you are.. our thoughts and prayers are with you...

Cubby said...

"To be alone in this world without those who brought you into it." This is the most scary thing about life. Losing a parent briefly turns you into a frightened little boy again.

Hang in there.

Lemuel said...

I lost my father when I was 33, my mother when I was 41. For those who are sensitive to life (as you and Blair), it brings into focus what is important about it all. In the midst of all the noise and marketing and politics and false urgencies, we are jolted into an awareness that usually escapes us.
Be there for Blair. Our prayers are with you.

Nick UK said...

I hope you guys are coping and finding time for yourselves. She was a lucky woman to have so much of your time and care and I'm sure that she was aware of it.
Best Wishes

Ryan said...

thanks!

FlipFlopsBoy said...

My condolences...and prayers.

FFB

Mark in DE said...

Our thoughts are with both of you. Peace & hugs.