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Saturday, March 05, 2011

Facebook is our Glue

..."Facebook wants me to confirm my relationship.....there's no going back now!!"......

This was a modified Facebook status update from a friend of mine.  I loved it.  Facebook was asking her to confirm her relationship and then it would be published on her Facebook page for the entire world to see -- provided she doesn't have any settings restricting such observation.  I had to laugh.  And comment....that Facebook is the cement that holds all of our relationships together.  God, we're a weird society.  Funky.  Strange.  Odd.  Somehow we've allowed Facebook to be our glue.  The concrete.  The end-all, be-all of our lives and relations.  If we get pissed off at someone, we defriend them or block them or hide them (you'll have no idea what these phrases mean if you're not a Facebook crack whore).  We get all riled up if someone won't be our friend on Facebook -- in spite of the fact that they are someone else's friend on Facebook.  Boo hoo.  Poor little weak things that we are. 

And what about this on again, off again thing?  I swear.  I have a few friends who are "So and so's friend" one day and not the next.  And then they are again.  And then they are not again.  Over and over.  Honestly, I can think of one friend in particular who has been so-and-so's boyfriend I don't know how many times.  And then she defriends him.  And then she friends him again.  Sort of like being friends on Facebook means anything.  Or everything.  Or nothing.  Perhaps it's the knowing that someone likes us.  Or wants us.  Or loves us.  Or none of the above.  Personally, I think it's for the sex. 

And Facebook is so new!  It's not even a few years old and it has become life's only connection to making relationships work for some.  What in the world did we do before Facebook?  And why does it have to be the determining, sole source for making us feel good about who is our friend and who is not?  I mean, hey, it's fun.  It's entertaining.  And an excellent way to get out news or word of an activity.  But that's really about it.  It's not like it makes any difference if I put my LoverBoy as my "domestic partner" or my "husband" or my "significant other" or my whatever....  He is, no matter what.  No matter if it's on Facebook or not. 

And I've had friends ask me why all I post about it Mason.  Mason, Mason, Mason.  That's all they ever see me posting about.  So?  So what?  Are we keeping score, or a tally?  It's really quite insignificant. 


I think we're weak, thin, exhausting.  As a people, a society, a globe.   It's like the whole world is going to hell around us and all we have time to do is get worked up over Facebook and its innerworkings.  Seriously, it's insignificant.  Having said that, I'm on it all of the time.  I do enjoy it.  For fun.  Not for drama, or work, or bickering, or long threads of going back and forth sorting out troubles, or being divisive (yes, I have been....), or for someone getting all bent out of shape over whether I friend them or not (I'll yank you off quickly if that's your game....). 

It's just so entertaining.  I get a kick out of the seriousness of it.  Or the game of it.  Or the lack of depth.  I also think it demeans our one-on-one, in person relations.  It cheapens them.  It takes our attention away from them.  And here's someone else's take on how Facebook destroys relationships

13 comments:

Ur-spo said...

I rather like facebook for what I use it for - hearing pleasant day to day tid-bits or news from relatives and friends. This takes the place of a tedious once a year "Christmas letter" which I don't read anyway.
I admit, I have several high school and childhood friends I would not have ever heard from but for FB.
So I am glad for its use.
Admittedly it has its zany side. My friends # goes up and down and I get figure out who went/comes. Someone stays clear away from all this nonsense.

tomaspdx said...

Yes, it can be amusing! I like that I'm a drama free FB user. It is a wonderful tool for keepin gin touch with friends on all parts of the globe. It also has allowed me to connect with significant people from my past that I never thought I would see again ever. Like everyhting in life...it's about moderation!

eric p. said...

I think that the fact that it is insignificant is part of the appeal. It's one space where we feel we have some semblance of control in an out-of-control world, which might help explain how worked up people get over rumors of change in the Facebook universe.

bardelf said...

My partner and I stay on FB waaay too much. It is an addiction.
"Wait, honey, I can't make love right now, I have food ready on Cafe World." Get the picture?
CraZy!

anne marie said...

I am like dr. spo's someone - I stay clear. I don't need it, can live without it. same with twitter. no interest. call me edgy.

Cubby said...

FB has been an odd experience for me. I used to go days without even remembering I was on it. But a few weeks ago I joined a special closed group and I'm having some great threaded conversations in there. It's like a separate FB within FB. Now I find that Facebook is finally useful.

Like you, I've had thoughts about how people dealt with personal relationships five years ago. Nowadays people are so plugged into facebook and their iphones, it's like they've always existed.

It's too bad people are dying though. A couple months ago some driver was checking FB, using his iPhone while driving, crashed another car, and killed the other driver. But don't worry... the dead driver did not have a Facebook account, so nobody lost a friend. Whew! Thank God for that.

What? Too cynical?

Ron said...

I use Facebook for getting the news out to relatives, especially our family reunions. Occasionally a gay friend will post a scarcastic snippet at me (you know who you are Wayne....ooops!) but other that these insignificant pin pricks from my 'friend', I don't let Facebook rule my life. And I especailly don't play those stupid assed games. Farmville? Really.

Annie said...

Very well said, Brother! I fall into one of these categories and it was exhausting!!!

Greg said...

Facebook has its uses, but I'm finding that I don't use it as much as I once did.

BosGuy said...

I think I'm the only person left not on Facebook... It makes me wonder if Facebook is the new 'borg'...

Jim said...

I have really cut back on my Facebook time.

The guy I dated during the summer thought I was using a 'pick up line' on him when I first met him; I said; "aren't you a friend on Facebook?" he only thought it was a line until he realized that I had over 700 'friends'. I've since cut down my friends list. Someone has to be friendly to be my friend now.

Yea, life is weird! LOL

Great post!

CJ/Rick said...

What did we do before Facebook? I can't answer for you but before internet and such I got out of the house a helluva lot more.

Christopher said...

I think that FB is like the equivalent of a "drive-by" friendship - a short snippet here and there, often cryptic, so if you aren't really close to that "friend," it often makes no sense at all. I had been trying to keep my Friend list to those whom I really considered friends, but have found that it's since grown to include people that are really very peripheral to my life. And in some cases, I'll either hide them from my news feed, or limit their access to my profile and what I (infrequently) post.