Side-by-Side Lives

Ugly live up on the inside. Ugly be a hurtful, mean person.  Is you one a them peoples?

Impact.  Powerful.  Tossed around without regard like dust in the air sometimes, those words are.  I am in the middle of reading The Help.  But somehow it happened that Saturday evening was a good time for us to go and see the movie....which I've been waiting for months to see.  This is just my kind'a story.  Personal.  Compelling.  The actual stories of people's lives.  Yours and mine.  They do have merit, you know.....the stories of our lives. 

But one of the things that occurred to me during the movie is the side-by-side lives lived by the folks portrayed in the case.  The parallel lives.  The many pieces of the lives that occurred with each individual over the years that happened in conjunction with one other.  The Help would many times stay with the same white family for years.  Many years....oh say 40 or more years.  The Help would live their own path and life during this 40 years.  And the white family that they worked for would also live their own life during this same 40 years.  Two distinct, varied, very different paths over the same length of time -- running parallel to one another.  Children would come and go, news stories would pass, times would change, political relevance would rise and fall, social interaction would lumber on.  And as individual as these paths are, they are intertwined in so many ways. 

Ever morning, until you dead in the ground, you gone have to make this decision. You gone have to ask yourself, "Am I gone believe what them fools say about me today?"

And the fact that this story took place right here under our noses in the US of A really hits home with me.  Perhaps I should say takes place, present tense.  Because it does.  No matter the laws of the land or the regulations in place the dark hearts of the people are difficult to assimilate into the new ages.  Things don't change inside of a person's soul because a political figure tells them to.  I'm ashamed to know that in my lifetime there is hatred for who people are -- not what they have necessarily done or how they've behaved...that's a whole other matter.  But for who they are.  That it takes place in the most powerful nation on earth really irritates me.  Confuses me.  On how we could have ever allowed it to happen.  Whatever it was that prompted white people to actually believe that they could catch colored diseases from the colored people.  And everyone believed it at the time.  And it continues to happen in so many ways even today.  We've got a long, long way to go.  My friend Matt said recently "I think we need to come together on social issues at their core.... Create real social solidarity not this fake wave a flag on flag day and temporary love for all other Americans during a time of crisis, but real solidarity."  He's right on.  


Another piece of this story that hit home with me is how the person who steps out of their comfort zone and stands up for others is the person that should lead this world.  The one who sees a wrong and wants to make it right.  The one who sees the underling being beaten down and berated and wants to do whatever it takes to stand with them.  Every family, every period of time in our globe's history, has one or two of those people.  The ones who refuse to accept for fact what is told to them.  What is shoved down their throat.  What is simply assumed to be reality. The person says, "No," and then goes about making it right.  Do you stand up for the underdog, the one who is treated poorly, the one who needs a comrade?  I try to. 

All I'm saying is, kindness don't have no boundaries.

The stories of our lives are powerful.  I think I said that in the opening paragraph.  And they are.  They are, after all, our stories, our lives.  No one else's.  They may not mean much to anyone else.  But they mean the world to us.  And in just the right time, the right place, and when the moment is tender and available, the stories of our lives fit perfectly into the life of someone else.  They enter someone else's heart, or mind.  They meld and blend.  You can see it on the face of the other person.  They suddenly morph from a blank look of nothingness into a land where the two get it....they know one another .... they understand one another.  The point at which the stories of two people's lives intersect is one of the most influential points during our short years on this planet. 

And The Summer Drags On.....

Holy smokes folks....the last waning days of August are upon us.  As usual, I can't believe it.

I've been sequestered in a windowless room in Seattle for most of my summer.  Designing.  Planning.  Creating.  Crafting.  Thinking.  A lot of fun.  A ton of work.  For the first time in years, my mind is keeping me awake at nights -- something I have forgotten, a detail that needs to be done.  A program for flight attendants on Who We Are, How We Fit, and Why We Matter will roll out in October.  If I disappeared from the Design Team today, it wouldn't matter -- I've taken a backseat and my value is minimal.  I spent about 50 hours on a very nice, introspective brochure to be used in the program...called "Being the CEO Of Your Life."  It's been trashed and won't be used.  What a waste. 

I'm playing Hanging With Friends on my iPhone regularly....something I've never done in my life.  I am not a game player.  But for some reason, this has consumed me.

I've seen numerous trees around town with those hints of yellows and reds to them.  Ah oh.

My required annual flight attendant Recurrent training is coming up in a few weeks.  "Heads Down, Stay Down!"

I haven't read any blogs, commented, or even been here on my own site since May.  Lordy be.

Hubby and I are going to Palm Springs for five days in early October with a bunch of friends.  Should be a nice time.

My seniority at my very own Portland flight attendant base has dropped starting September.  I'm 20 less senior than I used to be.

Bored in Seattle

It is becoming clear to me, again, that my mind thinks in ways that other's minds do not.  I was always bored in school.  Boring.  No interest.  Could have been a straight-A student...but was more than satisfied with Bs, Cs, and even some Ds.  It meant nothing to me.  I was not challenged.

I have spent the last three months working in Seattle for several days a week.  Putting together a 4-hour flight attendant training project for my employer.  I've enjoyed it.  But it is painfully clear to me that I expect more of myself, and others, than they expect of themselves.  I want more.  I think in ways that others do not.  I am not satisfied with status quo.  I do not want another corporate training project or things that can be achieved elsewhere.  I have finished developing a piece for the program called "Becoming the CEO of Your Life."  Many, many hours of work.  And a very nice product.  Challenging.  Expecting introspection and personal work on the insides.  Expecting more.  Wanting more. Wanting participants to dig deep.

But I've been slapped on the hands.  Nope....too personal.  Can't do that.  We had something else in mind.  "Let's bring it back to boring" is what I've surmised from the comments.  So, for one more time in my life, I've been disenchanted with knowing that people simply are happy with status quo.  With medium.  With being good....not great or exceptional.  With being afraid of asking more of people or pushing buttons that may very well be uncomfortable.  So I'm back to middle ground.  Boring ground.  Nonchallenging ground.  Again, just like in school, I'm bored.

For What Will I Use My Voice ??

"Remember that the first step is not to speak ill of others. All human beings have weaknesses and faults. They have their imperfections. Therefore, before trying to find faults in others and speaking ill of them, try to find your own weaknesses and correct those." 

I will never understand why we don't wish others well. I don't understand the lack of understanding. Is there ever a need for being unkind? Can't my voice be used for some other purpose?

As much as I may disagree with someone, as much as I may not agree with their point of view or decisions they make, is there ever a need to not wish someone well as they move on in their life?  When someone departs one difficult spot in life for another more appropriate location, is there ever a reason to not want the best for them?  Don't we want everyone to be happy and successful and peaceful in the quiet spots of their life?  I just don't see the long-term success of slinging mud at someone. 

Perhaps I'm wrong.