Grace

Have someone ever extended a portion of grace to you? Have you ever extended grace to someone else? "Of course" is probably the answer to both. There are numerous formal definitions to the word "grace." There is the "seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion" which reminds me of old classic movies, with beautiful women and men, gliding gracefully across the dance floor. It also reminds me of a couple of people I know who carry themselves in such a graceful way. If I ask a born-again Christian about the word, I'm nearly positive I'll hear a response about "divine love and protection bestowed freely on people; the state of being protected or sanctified by the favor of God; or an excellence or power granted by God." Many a sermon has been preached along those lines. And then there is the short prayer said before many a meal or the title that some are called such as "His Grace." That's what I like my honey to call me in more formal settings....you know, maybe at a silver tea service gathering among the formally dressed and coiffed.

But have you ever been granted "mercy; clemency; a favor rendered by one who need not do so; a temporary immunity or exemption; a reprieve"? I have. There have been numerous times in my life when I've been a real asshole and done or said things that should have brought down terrible consequences for me. And sometimes they have. Or said things to others in a fit of anger or without thinking before speaking. Sometimes, that has led to a knock-down, drag-out fight. Other times, the person just looked at me and said "I understand." No retribution, no hatred, no rebuttal. Grace extended. Or mistakes made that can't be undone....it's too late.....I've really screwed up. And there was someone else saying "I'm going to overlook it. I know you've made a mistake and won't do it again." And suddenly it's like you have a new lease on life. A new chance and a new fresh start. And at some other point just beyond that, you realize that, by all rights, you should have been sent to the gallows or dungeon. But that you weren't. If you have been there, and I know you have, you know exactly what I mean. I did not used to be a person who would easily ask for forgiveness and say "I'm sorry." And I am not proud of that. I hope I'm getting better. I'm trying to "put on the softer side of Sear's" as the commercial goes.

Have you extended grace to anyone recently? I hope so. Because I believe in karma or "it all comes back around." It's just a way of life that I hope to foster. And I hate the thought of what not doing it does to my physical and emotional body....in my head and heart. Even if they deserve the worst....and many times, they do. Just like I have, numerous times. I think of the hurt I caused my ex-wife when I even married her in the first place knowing that it didn't stand much of a chance. I think of the harmful, unmerited words uttered to my partner in fits of anger. I think of uncalled for sighs or rolls of the eyes or "you're annoying me" body language I have been prone to from time to time. Or actions taken that cannot be reversed. It's not pretty. And, still, the grace was offered.

I hope you'll pass grace along to someone today who doesn't deserve it. Someone who yells at you, doesn't speak back when spoken to, cuts you off in traffic -- or, more personally, your family, friends, or partner when they have bad attitudes and tell you that you're a pain in the butt. You probably are.

And that's the perfect time to reach out, extend grace and unmerited favor, and begin to develop into a different type of person. The person like Grace Kelly, Mother Teresa, or one of those who we think of when we think about the word "grace."