What are five words/phrases that other people use to describe you? Scary, huh? Now, I don't mean five goodie-too-shoo words that you think other say about you. I mean, hard core words that you've heard other people use to describe you....both the lily white pure yummy stuff and the you-have-to-be-kidding-there's-no-way-I'm-like-that sort of things. I'll go first (yeah, I know there are six, not five, but the number isn't really important):
1. Cold/Not Warm and Fuzzy. (Black and white...so realistic and practical.)
2. Hard to Get to Know. (I spent 35 years hiding who I am.)
3. Funny/Dry Sense of Humor/Don't Know if I'm Serious or Not
4. Serious/Need to Have More Fun/Loosen Up.
5. Organized/Realistic.
6. Wise Beyond Your Years. "You'd be a good Counselor."
These things should not really be things you do but, rather, who you are...inside...your core being. Some of these things are pretty hard to swallow for me. There was a day when I was majorly defensive at hearing less-than-pure thoughts from others about myself. As if! The monster can still rear its ugly head if I'm not careful. In some ways, I guess I'll probably have to keep that in check for the rest of my life. I think those of us who grew up not really being able to be ourselves get all screwed up sometimes. It's not an excuse (because I can't stand excuses)....it's just the way it is. We spend a good chunk of our developmental years hiding, covering, making up stories about who we are. So, as an adult, we tend to have a stilted point of view....both of ourselves, others, and the world around us. And it can cause real trouble as others from the outside try to peer into our lives and take a look around. They get mixed up sometimes. And, sometimes, they are spot on. Questions to consider:
* Has the list changed over time?
* Is the list more or less "positive" or "negative"?
* Do you think you're getting better or worse as your life progresses?
* Are you where you want to be?
* Do you seek out other's opinions of you or do you just want to hear them?
* How do you respond to what you hear others say about you?
* Do you take what others say defensively or openly.
* How does it make you feel?
* Do you take other's thoughts as a tool for improvement?
A very special thank you to all of you who helped put me well over the 10,000 mark by the end of yesterday. I hit an all-time record for the number of hits in one day and the number of comments in one post. I had responses from so many new people as well as my good old reliable standards. To those of you who put posts on your site or asked your friends to email me, you're way cool! As a thank you gift, I would love to buy you dinner next time you're in Portland or when I'm with you. My treat. I appreciate you all so much and have enjoyed meeting each of you....some "virtually" and others in person, on the telephone, or via email. It doesn't really matter. I consider each of you my friend. And that's really what makes the world go 'round.
1. Cold/Not Warm and Fuzzy. (Black and white...so realistic and practical.)
2. Hard to Get to Know. (I spent 35 years hiding who I am.)
3. Funny/Dry Sense of Humor/Don't Know if I'm Serious or Not
4. Serious/Need to Have More Fun/Loosen Up.
5. Organized/Realistic.
6. Wise Beyond Your Years. "You'd be a good Counselor."
These things should not really be things you do but, rather, who you are...inside...your core being. Some of these things are pretty hard to swallow for me. There was a day when I was majorly defensive at hearing less-than-pure thoughts from others about myself. As if! The monster can still rear its ugly head if I'm not careful. In some ways, I guess I'll probably have to keep that in check for the rest of my life. I think those of us who grew up not really being able to be ourselves get all screwed up sometimes. It's not an excuse (because I can't stand excuses)....it's just the way it is. We spend a good chunk of our developmental years hiding, covering, making up stories about who we are. So, as an adult, we tend to have a stilted point of view....both of ourselves, others, and the world around us. And it can cause real trouble as others from the outside try to peer into our lives and take a look around. They get mixed up sometimes. And, sometimes, they are spot on. Questions to consider:
* Has the list changed over time?
* Is the list more or less "positive" or "negative"?
* Do you think you're getting better or worse as your life progresses?
* Are you where you want to be?
* Do you seek out other's opinions of you or do you just want to hear them?
* How do you respond to what you hear others say about you?
* Do you take what others say defensively or openly.
* How does it make you feel?
* Do you take other's thoughts as a tool for improvement?
A very special thank you to all of you who helped put me well over the 10,000 mark by the end of yesterday. I hit an all-time record for the number of hits in one day and the number of comments in one post. I had responses from so many new people as well as my good old reliable standards. To those of you who put posts on your site or asked your friends to email me, you're way cool! As a thank you gift, I would love to buy you dinner next time you're in Portland or when I'm with you. My treat. I appreciate you all so much and have enjoyed meeting each of you....some "virtually" and others in person, on the telephone, or via email. It doesn't really matter. I consider each of you my friend. And that's really what makes the world go 'round.
Anybody in San Francisco or Oakland and would like to have dinner on Sunday or Monday evening, hit me up. Love to see you.
9 comments:
hohoho
i leave one comment and I get invited to dinner!
you are on!
I love this post because it requires asking yourself tough questions. I admire you for sharing them outloud, because I know that's tough.
And P.S. - I consider you a friend too, but you already knew that ;)
Love the questions. Like Nathan said, really makes you think. I may have to use these next week!
And, you know you are one of my dearest blogging friends. I can't wait to see you again!! Have a great weekend.
Bah! I was traveling yesterday and couldn't join in! No dinner for Dave. :-(
Happy 10,000! :-)
Congrats on the 10K. Did I hear free dinner?! Lewis, watch what you say 'cuz I don't pass on those. ;) Have a great week.
I'm not really sure what people have used to describe me. I feel that since I'm in the closet, no one has really gotten to know the real me...but the me they do know has been described as friendly, loud, outgoing, opinionated, defensive, and loving.
I wonder what they would say if they knew I was gay.
I'm surprised that's how you are described. Just in knowing you from your writing, you seem to be very open and honest, and some of your posts are very touching (read warm & fuzzy). You seem to have a great sense of humor! What are they thinking?
Loved the tour of the yard, by the way. And the house looks adorable; I want a tour of the inside one day!
35 years hiding? How can that be when you're only 34?
I have been referred to by others as "guarded".
When I hear this I usually say something like "Yeah, I'm guarded! Why would I want to open up to YOU!"
Oh and sometimes I am described as "bitter".
Post a Comment