Orlando Welcomes Lewispalooza 2007

From the moment my honey and I arrived in the theme park capital of the universe, the magic and zing of what is Orlando hits us right along with the humidity and sea of humanity from around the earth that have come here to relish in fun and frolic that constitute "Lewispalooza 2007." All appropriate pictures are here. After a few hours of Benadryl-induced sleep, we are met at our hotel room door by our good friend at Sorted Lives who has turned himself into our own personal taxi service -- we couldn't ask for a nicer chauffeur. We're off (like trousers on a cheap trick) to a yummy lunch in the food court at what has quite appropriately become known as the Gay Mecca....the Mall at Millenia. From Lacoste and American Eagle Outfitters to Hollister and Louis Vuitton, the place is awash with fashionable wide belts, tight fashion-conscious and pec-grabbing t-shirts, and nearly everyone swishing about in rich-boy flip flops, shopping bags in tow. Better bring your credit cards to this one. You'll need them. Sorted seems to know a handsome man in every single store which garnered no compalints from us. And, of course, we had to make an obligatory stop in "the cruisy pick-up men's bathroom near the food court" where Sorted spotted a tall, beautiful, blond Scandinavian doing his best to take a peek under the hood of my car. I usually charge for viewing privileges.

And with that, we were off to meet Whisper in the Void and his partner at their condo -- both horribly nice looking and welcoming. As is the case with everyone I've met in the blogging world, it's like we've known each other for a long while. It's nice, comfortable. We trotted next door to The Parliament House for a little tour and to watch the perverts play (as if we are any more refined ourselves). We are hardly even inside the front entry before we had a Miller Lite-toting guy in tight red square cut swim trunks trying to show us his tan lines...from both the top and bottom of his suit at the same time. We ventured off to see if we could catch any visual action in one of the many open-doored hotel rooms around the pool area (disappointing results) and returned to see Miller Lite-tan line man sitting at our table with Whisper's partner. Timothy Gerrard Armstrong was his name.....and he wanted to know ours and everything else about us. We made up a few names for ourselves -- Roger and Harold -- and told him we were from Baltimore. During the ensuing 20 minutes, and under a canopy while the thunderstorms poured down rain around us, we discussed the gays, Jews, public hair, African Americans, cropped/cut-off t-shirts, drag queens, our birth dates and ages, who was the cutest, and which of the boys hanging around the pool area he purported to know. He is etched forever in our minds. Believe me.

Whisper and Company were nice enough to haul us to the final stop on our tour -- BJ's Restaurant and Brewhouse. Appropriate, eh? They finally acquiesced and said we could actually ride in the back seat of their beautiful car as opposed to the trunk. Unfortunately, Sorted had to rescue "M" who had a dead battery in his car. To round out the gang, CTO City, Actorschmactor, and I Deal With It all met us at the pub. We spent the next 3 1/2 hours staring down handsome men parade to and from the men's room -- and us making "emergency" trips into the bathroom "as necessary" for observation purposes only. Mike was our very cute jock waiter. I'm afraid the guy had either been hit in the head with a football in high school or snapped hard enough with a jock strap to cause some serious damage. In spite of telling us "You guys rock" about a hundred times, letting us take his picture, and being very sweet, he was missing something, somewhere.

Good food, cold beer, fattening desserts, cute waiter, great friends, terrible service = A Perfect 10 Hours! Seriously, we had a blast. One of those times in your life that you enjoy, appreciate and thrive on. They sort of make us who we are and happy to be alive.

A Huge PS: I don't mean to leave out any important details of the evening. We also discussed the following at one point or another: Wearing jeans with flip flops, foot fetishes, kava root and its seductive qualities, pot (as in marijuana), rings, cameras in the men's room, shower curtains, stemless wine glasses, work and jobs, car batteries and starters, gluten, camping, RVs and motor homes, Disney, dogs, other bloggers, cars and bio diesel, bus/transit systems, and about a million other things.