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Friday, November 28, 2008

Cattle Prod Up My Holiday Decoration Ass

I really don't know what it is that causes me to like this time of year less and less. For about the second or third year in a row, I become totally irritated with putting up the tree and decorations. And this morning was no exception. Ugh. Irritated, unhappy, just want to get it done and out of the way. I swear, if the hubby wasn't here to keep my attitude in check and run the cattle prod up my back end to get the job done, I'd be right here on my laptop or in a coffee shop somewhere. I hate the work, the mess, the packing and unpacking of decoration boxes. I get bent out of shape when things don't go as planned or when extension cords can't be found. I could care less about where the tree goes, if something needs to be moved this way or that, or if what colors go where. Go gives a flying piece of Santa's North Pole Christmas poop....not me.

Hubby told me that my attitude has been in the dumps for several years now -- and that when he first met me (11 years now!), I used to be the one that drove the whole thing. Time? Life? Stresses? Pressure? Reordering of priorities? No kids? Middle age? Who knows. A bit of each, perhaps. I can't stand the commercialism, the crowds, the kids running all over the stores, the traffic and parking lots. None of it interests me in the least. I'm more than happy to relax with coffee, friends, dinner, and the most simple of times. No fuss, mess, hard work.

So, while he drove me toward this today, I'm walking around with a cattle prod just about as far up my Holiday Ass as it can get. It's right up there with a candy cane or two from last year. If it weren't for the fact that we are going to spend New Year's with this hot man and his husband in New York State, I think I'd just fast forward the clock to January.

My god, I sound like the Scrooge of Christmas Past, don't I?

17 comments:

Doug said...

I frequently feel similar things toward the holiday season. I think it's the repetition and the massive commercialism of the whole deal. There's very little spirit left in the holidays beyond what we can salvage after the barrage of pre-Halloween lights, endless Christmas songs in every store, and then after the season is done, society seems to return to its normal cruel self.

However, if we can somehow shut all that out, maybe we can focus on friends and family and the true meanings behind the season.

LSL said...

You know, my years away in Japan gave me a renewed appreciation for the season and the decorations and the crap. But somehow I can really relate to what you're saying. As I get older, I notice a lot of changes in what I want, what makes me happy, my patience, and more. I appreciate this post.

bridgeout said...

You know, I think having kids around the house keeps my motivation fresh. I am actually enjoying it all more this year because my partner is happier and healthier so it makes the holidays more peaceful. BUT... I totally can relate the the irritability of all the shoppers, and all the boxing up of things. I kind of am glad the kids put most of it up, and my sweet wife puts the boxes away. :) "Humbug" friend!

Rob (Inukshuk Adventure) said...

Oh yeah, I hear ya Lewis. No decorations for us this year, just like last year. We'll have a quiet relaxing time with shared meals and drinks in the company of good friends.

Java said...

I'm not fond of holiday decorating in general. It seems like a monumental waste of time to unpack stuff, set it up for no other purpose than collecting dust, then a month or so later just to pack it all back up again. That goes for any holiday. Seasonal decoration, like a little bit of fresh color or a new wreath for spring or fall, that I'm OK with. Holidays, though, are not enough reason to go through the trouble. At all.

RAD said...

gosh your post hit close to home today....I used to be so x mas spirited...today would of been the day foe me to get everything out and instead I moped around and didnt do any of it...I am so not in any spirit this year......I need a candy cane up my ass so maybe I will get a move on and get some holiday cheer....maybe...

Breenlantern said...

baby, I love you and your bah humbugness and share much of what you feel. I hate the forced gift buying, the faux and wasteful christmas cards and greetings yadda yadda...but i do manage to find joy in hearing from friends I never do and there is something about winter that gets me giddee...fireplaces and cocoa and warm blankets...I promise you, i will instill some holiday cheer in you by new years...whatever it takes...whatever...it...takes...

(F)redddy said...

This post hits a little too close for comfort for me tonight. Having been up since 4 am and driving for a little over six hours to mix in-laws with out-laws and doing the family thing all day long, when I returned to the house and peeled off my boots, the only thing I could think of was getting the kids in bed and relaxing...as my mother said, "Hey (F)reddy, why don't you put up your tree tonight..." AND I DID. Not happily, but I did.

annie said...

well, let's not hold back - tell us how you REALLY feel, brother!i'm never a shopper, so to catch me dead in a mall at this time of year would be.....well, it'd have to be necrophilia that'd get me out there dead. i do, however, simply love the lights and the music! if i had my choice, i'd do simple lights on a simple tree, soft music, and a fire. (in the fireplace, not the tree).

on another note, where can you buy those cattle prods and candy canes? sounds kinda fun.....

anne marie in philly said...

I too despise everything about this time of year. perhaps it's the dullness of winter, perhaps I see it as a huge waste of time...

remember the ending of "the grinch"? the whos down in whoville still celebrated after the grinch took everything? I would like to see that happen; that and the end of war and poverty and hunger. but I'll never get my wish...EVER...(sigh)...

Wayne said...

We don't do decorations at home, haven't for a number of years now. I have to do the Salon, that's enough for me. And I don't decorate for any holiday!

eric p. said...

Todd's the driving force behind decorating our home. I enjoy the finished product but all the prep work (getting things out of the attic, assembling, testing, etc.) just leaves me indifferent. Between having worked retail when I was younger, having an ex in retail for many years, and now singing with a group that starts working Christmas music in August ... it's easy for the "most wonderful time of the year" to become "just another time of the year."

FlipFlopsBoy said...

I am ass-deep in holiday decorating myself...slower than usual...I do still enjoy it, but wonder why!

I'm with you..quiet times with friends and family is where it's at...

So, let's veto CHRISTMAS STRESS, but NOT Christmas!

Ur-spo said...

what you need is a fresh something to do this year,
and
a hug and a kiss
and,
Christmas cha - cha heels.

Lemuel said...

We are debating about not putting up the tree this year and I'm not sure that I will deocrate outside at all.

Jason, as himself said...

Me, too! I seriously have to talk myself through it every single year. It didn't used to be that way.

Our son is four this year and totally into it, so that makes it more fun.

Mark in DE said...

I wonder if the economic situation, unemployment, corporate cutbacks, etc isn't weighing everybody down a little this holiday season.

Mark :-)