Today is the day, folks. By the close of business late tonight, we should have elected a brand new president. And, it had better be you know who. Because I'm sick of this shit. The caste system. The "it's okay for me, but not for you" sort of politics. The lying, needless wars, giant humongous amount of dollars being spent on the other side of the earth when we need it here. And if I hear one more "family values" conversation, I'm going to squirt screws out of some body orifice. So, in the spirit of beginning over, with fresh vision and new erection...err, a direction....I bring you a new chapter in my own head:
You know, there are periods in your life where things are running along fine. Status quo. Happy and no big deals going on. You're loving your husband, and he loves you back. Some things could be better, some things could be worse. But, all in all, it's pretty damned peachy. You're coming up on 11 years of being together. Happier than clams. You love him no matter what and he reciprocates gladly, easily. Thick and thin, it makes no difference -- you're stuck together like glue. And before I continue, I must point out that my hubby has put together a brand new blog...Blair's Corner....I hope you'll check it out.
But somewhere along the line, for reasons known or not, things do tend to change. It's almost like you lose yourself in the relationship sometimes. You become so much a part of "we," that "you" goes bye-bye. You start doing the things you think you "should" be doing and not doing the things you "should not" be doing. The person, their personality, and their likes and dislikes nearly disappear from the scene sometimes. People migrate from the sex-crazed early years when you'd eat dinner on a laundry basket turned upside down because you had no table (yes, that was us) to the years of settling for frozen TV dinners with reruns of The Golden Girls. Just because that's the way it happens. Life is that way, you know. You're so totally comfortable with each other that a lot of things just don't matter anymore. Dirty socks and underwear (in spite of the fact that I'd place those in the yummy category) can lay anywhere without too much of an issue. Dishes can pile in the sink (but they don't at our house). And you've even grown accustomed to the unusual smells from the bathroom -- and just flip on the fan without saying a word anymore. Suddenly, you look in the mirror and realize that even your own partner may not know you. Nor you, him. Or maybe it's not so much that they don't know you as much as it is that you've just learned to cover up yourself. Learned to avoid talking about things that maybe you used to. About certain subjects, about sexual turn ons, fetishes and the like. About the things that irritate you, about cares and concerns...and even about good times. Quite frankly, you've settled in. It's the Lazy Boy years. Television and feet up time! Some people gain weight during this time. Others let themselves go in other ways. They just stop taking care of themselves because they are that comfortable with the other dude. You learn that there's more to life than sex on a daily basis. More to happiness than admitting to your husband that there are naughty things that used to turn you on that you really haven't thought about in many years. You are at that point where you now say, "Love you" at the end of conversations instead of something gushy like, "You are the love of my life, the apple of my eye, and I'm totally devoid of happiness without you in it....I love you more today than I ever have." (My god, that's getting a little thick, isn't it?) And I don't believe it's an issue that's specific to any particular group or sex. I know that, were the 100% unabashed truth be told, even innocent little church-goers have desires and frustrations...just look at the escalating rate of abuse and such in the church .... were these folks given an "out"....a way to express themselves properly .... perhaps the negative side of things wouldn't have reared its ugly head. And I know that it doesn't matter if you're homo or heterosexual.....everyone has their own version of naughty games playing in their heads.
So, a certain hubby and his lover boyfriend husband partner have decided to start living a little more on the edge. As individuals and as a couple. They aren't really sure where this is all going to end up. But it's time to be more in tune with emotions, desires, life, and all of the joys that go with it. I don't even know what to say, really -- and I'm not even sure exactly the point of this post. It's just time that we start living our thoughts a little more out loud. In the open. In front of one another and even in front of others. It seems as age settles in a bit more in some lives that things just change. But a certain couple is going to try and rejuvenate life....for themselves, for each other, for others. If it's a fetish, we're talking about it. A turn on? You'll hear about it. We're just going to be more in tune with things. I mean, if it gets too bad, I may have to turn this blog into an adult site. Because this crazy head of mine has some pretty wild things going on inside of it.
In a way, I feel like I've had to temper my thoughts, feelings, desires, emotions. Just because I'm a husband. One learns to bury them, hide them, change them to be a better fit. And I'm really exhausted from playing by other's rules -- rules of churches, friends, family, and others. And I know you'll concur when I tell you that life is too short to be someone whom you really are not. I mean, the only thing worse than someone else judging you is you judging yourself. Ick. So, you may just hear me talking about one of my favorite friends and his site....Flip Flops Boy (18+ only...be aware). Because that's just me. Plain and simple. Or the fact that I dig a man who smells like a man. Frilliness and Irish Spring are not necessary for this guy. You may not always agree with me, nor concur with the things going on in my head, but at least you'll know the real me. And that's a good place for all of us to be. Happy trails, my friends (I sound like John McCain with that "my friends" crap, don't I??). Live honest and happy.