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Friday, January 27, 2012

John Boehner's Crybaby Alien Lives In Me

You knew that I was related to John Boehner, right?  I think we are cousins.  Distant, far removed cousins perhaps.  But all kidding aside, I swear to god that we must have the same genes or DNA tucked away deep inside somewhere.  He has taken heat for the way in which our common thread of DNA manifests itself in his life.  So have I.  You see, we are both crybabies.  I don't know about him but I'd venture to guess that I get tears in my eyes on almost a daily basis.  Maybe every other day or two if I remain 100% out of human contact, don't watch any TV or TV commercials, and stay off of the Internet.  Oh, one more thing....if I avoid conversation with my mother.  She always makes me cry when she closes nearly every phone conversation with, "Arnie, you know I love you....I really do.  I'm so proud of you...."  Lordy.  I'm a mess.

I see an animal rescue site with sappy music playing and I lose it.  Although, admittedly, Sarah McLachlan doesn't have quite the hold on me that she once did thanks to seeing those commercials for so many years.  So there.  See, I'm a big boy.  I see stories of soldiers returning home from war and sneaking into their children's school classrooms to surprise them and my throat closes up.  Or a homeless woman on a street corner who is will into her 70s or even 80s -- and she shares the same name as my very own mother.  My heart goes out.  Or perhaps I get into a conversation about any one of life's many difficulties with someone -- how they, or I, want to be a better human being than I am today.  Umm, yeah, don't expect me not to cry at that either.  Or I see an adult who you would suppose would have their act together by this point in their life -- but they don't.  Alcohol or drugs still have a stronghold on their ability to be a good parent, son, daughter, etc.  I think of my own experiences and how these sorts of situations strike awfully close to home.  Or I watch the resignation of Congresswoman Gabby Giffords as she hobbles with every bit of might she has up to John Boehner to submit her written letter of resignation.  John cries.  I sob.

Man oh man, John Boehner's sobbing crybaby spirit lives within me.  Sort of like an alien.  Who cries.  An alien who cries.  Yeah, that's it.

5 comments:

Blobby said...

Oh, I cannot watch those Humane Society ads. Pictures of shivering cats and dogs makes me sad.

CJ/Rick said...

I laugh with tears in my eyes as the media makes fun of John. But... I'm much the same way. I'm moved to tears easily. I've been ask on more than one occasion at work if I had a cold when someone would spot me with tears in my eyes. I'll say damn allergies. It's not manly I suppose but...

Greg said...

I can't watch those Humane Society commercials, either. And I never did understand why they constantly show them on FearNet along with the Christina Singles website.

Mike said...

I have to change the channel if that dog/cat rescue infomercial comes on. Makes me wonder about the kind of person who DOESN'T get misty seeing that commercial and hearing Sarah singing "Angel". Ever seen the moving Living Out Loud with Holly Hunter, Danny DeVito and Queen Latifah? It was a real sleeper but we own it and have probably watched it a dozen times. There is a scene near the end that ALWAYS ALWAYS makes me cry.

Ur-spo said...

Last night at a party, I met a Portland man named Andy, who states he was/is your neighbor. At least he said he knew you!