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Thursday, July 10, 2008

Shakespeare and His Wet Dreams in Utah


Just when I didn't think it could get any better, Pirate's Cove has gone and done it again....well they're getting ready to, at least. You see, this is a local dive bar -- been there forever sort of place. It's two blocks from our current house (we're out of here next Friday the 18th) and I've blogged a few times about such naughtiness as Panty Auctions and Polish Dogs, Boys and their Biscuits, and Lap Dances and Fruitcakes, and other twisted gimmicks they splay across their reader board on very busy Sandy Boulevard in Portland. And this week's sign reminds me of a warm summer night in Vernal, Utah, many many years in the distant past (thankfully). A friend from my church youth group and I had driven to his parent's home, about 650 miles from Boise to Vernal, Utah, to pick up a motorcycle and drive it back home....me on the back end of this motorbike. So, we arrive in Vernal, exchange pleasantries, enjoy dinner, and my buddy and I bed down for the night in his parent's living room on the sleeper sofa hide-a-bed. Now, believe me, nothing happened. But morning time arrives, the sun's first rays are splitting open the giant window in the living room where we are, and I see his mom in the kitchen preparing breakfast. Somewhere in the middle of this scenario, I feel a strange sensation....a sort of wetness and stickiness. And I know you know what I'm talking about so don't play innocent with me, dear readers. Yup, I'd been dreaming. Wet dreaming, apparently. And I'm in my most fancy of underwear -- bright shiny polyester orange briefs that wouldn't absorb a damned thing. I was soaked and so were the sheets. I remember laying there, and laying there, and laying there...contemplating, wondering, waiting for her to disappear. I remember wadding those things up and stuffing them in the very bottom of my overnight bag. So, I'm thinking that maybe I'll go audition up at the Pirate's Cove for a part in this summer's Shakespeare Festival. I wonder what part I could play? After all, I do have a little bit of experience.

16 comments:

Ur-spo said...

go for Titania; the bitch has the best lines.

RAD said...

motorcycle boy with orange undies...cute!

Anonymous said...

How naughty of you, ha ha...very funny story....

Grego

Alexander said...

Orange Polyester?!?

emeraldcityguy said...

Orange polyester, oh my. Next one must ask did your buddy realize what happened?

Lemuel said...

I often wondered what my parents thought about my stained sheets. they never said a word. Did your friend's mother ever say anything?

bridgeout said...

Oooo! That story has it all! Motorcycle ride, hide-a-bed, lust, naughtiness... and of course panicked embarrassment!
Was your sleeping buddy still present? Did he know?

dit said...

That is brilliant! Please take a video so we can all see.

Oh my stained sheets. I learned how to run that washing machine early in life. lol

Birdie said...

You have the best underwear stories. Is that a genre?

(And your friend—his name wouldn't be Rance, would it?)

travelling, but not in love said...

Ok, so I'm waiting for the comments page to load thinking 'let me be the first, let me be the first'....

And I am! The first to suggest that the character from A midsummer Night's dream that you should play is Bottom.

tee hee. Yay. A shakespeare gay joke. And I made it. SO pleased with myself...

OK, I'm going to step away from the keyboard now.

Mark in DE said...

What a great story!

I, fortunately or unfortunately, experienced very few wet dreams because I was much to horny to allow it to 'build up'. Ah, youth!

Mark :-)

David said...

I don't recall that sequence in Shakespeare's original text.

afod said...

A little TMI to start off the weekend never hurt! ;-) Have a great one, Lewis!

Greg said...

Orange polyester....what else is there to say?

Java said...

VERY funny!

You are dating yourself by revealing the orange polyester underwear. Those were very polyester days.

Joie Mayfield said...

I think a follow-up on that story would be nice, LOL. What did your friend say???

LOL. Great story. I had just posted my most embarrassing story on my blog, but you win. ;)

Great blog!! Look forward to reading more!!

Joie
http://somuchtodealwith.blogspot.com