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Friday, August 15, 2008

Faith and Friends From the Past

Tonight begins a three-day celebration in Anaheim, California. And I was supposed to have been there. But I just couldn't force myself into it. Not that it would have been necessarily bad. But, perhaps, uncomfortable. And not just for me -- but for others as well. It's a gathering of one heck of a group of great musicians....vocalists, instrumentalists, lighting and sound technicians, administrative and management personnel from, quite literally, around the globe. It's the 40th anniversary celebration of The Continentals (formerly the Continental Singers). They began in 1967 (I know, it's actually the 41st year) in Portland, Oregon, by a true visionary Cam Floria. And he's still the guy heading up the group. It's a Christian missionary sort of organization that sings, dances, has costume changes, and does all sorts of musical mission work around the world. The likes of Sandi Patty, Michael W. Smith, Amy Grant, The Winans, Steven Curtis Chapman and plenty of others were connected with The Continentals to some degree. I traveled in 1982, twice in 1983, 1986, 1993, and twice in 1994. I spent one tour as an assistant director and two as the director of the group. It carried me to more than 30 states and 30 countries including behind the former Iron Curtain to Estonia and Poland. Truly once in a lifetime experiences that could never be recaptured. Each tour was three months and we did a minimum of one concert per day, many times more. We were up at 4am and up until past midnight most every night. It was exhausting. We spent thousands of miles on buses each tour. And some of the greatest years of my life. I've written about a good friend from the group here; about the KGW and Christian espionage here; and even about a little hanky pank here (oh yeah, it happens). I had almost every experience you can imagine during my years with the group. And, I must say, mostly good. I was challenged, stretched, asked to push myself personally and musically, and learn more than I could have ever imagined. During the height of the group's popularity, there were 15 groups in the summer consisting of nearly 40 people in each group. I think I've done more than a thousand concerts in large and small churches, fair and rodeo grounds, outside in grassy areas, in battlefields, on airplanes and cruise ships, in front of monuments and memorials, and in homes. We spent nearly every night in the homes of those from the churches that hosted us. We ate more spaghetti, lasagna, and fried chicken than you can imagine in church basements.
And all the while, I was gay. I knew it. I have no idea if they knew it. It's one of those areas of my life that still brings me great joy when I hear the music or look at the pictures....and there are thousands. I've been able to reconnect with a few friends since my coming out. Most have been horribly understanding. A few have not -- for which I pity them. You see, I would have had to take my partner with me -- in fact, I'd want to....I wouldn't do it any other way. And I'm so forthright now that it would be "just the way it is" when I introduced him to my past -- strangers to him. I would expect nothing but warmth and smiles from them. And I have a feeling that's exactly what I'd receive. Because they are that kind of people -- good, solid, happy folks with tremendous energy and drive. Even if our faiths are horribly different now. In fact, dramatically varied in paths. Tonight as my honey and I were driving along the Columbia River in the hot summer heat with Mt. Hood in front of us, I remembered that tonight a couple thousand of my former buddies were gathering to celebrate and remember in Anaheim. And I got kind of melancholy. I sort of wish that we were there. To say hi, throw hugs, remember the many crazy times from the past 40 years, listen to great music, and to -- maybe -- even allow them the opportunity to see that there are other beautiful pieces of life beyond what our eyes can actually see. Way beyond life on a pew. I miss them. I hope they miss me too.

11 comments:

Lemuel said...

I'm certainly far from where you are, Lewis, in my journey, but even from my perspective I look back at who I was and who my friends were (and are). I know I could never go back and I am fairly certain that they would never understand who I am or what has become of me. I look back with much gratitude and I remember with joy, but I studiously have come to avoid any kind of reunions.

Rick Rockhill said...

Sometimes it is hard to go back in time and recreate those experiences- we all develop, mature and change through life. but hold on to those memories anyway!

Anonymous said...

What a rich past you have had Lewis! I wonder why my tour would have been like with the Continentals in the summer of 1988. I was SO looking forward to it! We were to tour Brazil and travel all over the US. Crazy time though. Broke up with my fiance (was secretly "in love with" a girl at my Christian college but couldn't act on it), my parents got divorced... and then my younger brother came to live with me... I chose to take him in--and that meant I had to forego the tour. What lemuel said really captures how I handle my "former life."
Thanks for sharing, I love how you craft your stories.
Wendy

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's a good story. I really liked how you worded it. I hope one of them is reading it right now! Best wishes! Saludos,
Gregorio

Joie Mayfield said...

Lewis, I don't think I've ever commented here before, but I've been reading a while. When I read this article, I instantly understood exactly what you were saying.

During College, I sang with the Carson-Newman College Gospel Choir. We would travel around. (And we would eat in basements, lol) I was with this group for four years as a student, then three years as the Sponsor.

Also, I worked for a Christian camp called Centrifuge. I taught drama for three years.

All the time I was with these groups, I was gay. I knew it.

Last year (2007) was my 5-year reunion for College, and I skipped out on it. The news of my coming out was just starting to spread. All day that Saturday, I was sad. I wanted to see the people that made a difference in my life.

I hope things look up for you. I've added you as a link on my blog.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you have those memories, but I'm sad that you could not go and enjoy reliving some of them. I have told you often that your spirituality comes out in the words you write. You connect with many here on your blog, for many different reasons. You are reaching out and entertaining just as much, if not more, than you have in the past; perhaps even making more of an impact on the lives you touch today. I hope that most of your memories are good ones, but I hope in a few years you will also be embracing the memories you are currently making with those you know from the blogosphere. At least now we all know you for who you are in your entirety, and you don't have to hide behind anything. We love you for being you; the wonderful, talented, charming, spiritual, funny, sensitive, hilarious, good looking gay man that you are. ;-)

Breenlantern said...

sometimes, my friend, it is better to hold onto the good memories and optimism that the reunion would be warm and welcoming than it is to risk finding out you were wrong in your expectation and letting the memories get tarnished. I would like to think all people from our past, present and future will love and respect us for who we are and who we love, but experience says otherwise. Embrace your memories and know you have moved on with those experiences intact. Reminiscing and missing are not always negative emotions. Though you and I have different takes on spirituality, I have always found your words up lifting and your attitude, towards things and people different from you, respectful. I am glad for any experience you had that helped shape who you are today as a man, a friend, a husband a blogger and a human being.

Anonymous said...

Great post, Lewis. I feel your melancholy, but more than that, your joy at having found happiness, contenment and love!

Ur-spo said...

that was lovely; thank you for sharing it.
You are fortunate to have such a base from which to develop love.

Java said...

So poignant, Lewis. I am sorry you were not able to go, for all the many reasons it might not be a good idea to go. So sad. :(

However, I am aware that there is anther meeting across the continent of some more recent friends that you will be attending. As a matter of fact, you seem to be the guest of honor! I hope that's a huge bunch of fun, and wish I could be there, too.

Anonymous said...

Quite the sentimental post here. Thanks for sharing!