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Wednesday, September 01, 2010

On the Road Again


Willie Nelson said it best....On The Road Again. Today began this 5-day work week which will take me on another criss-cross of our nation's western half. PDX-SJC-AUS-SJC-PDX-SAN-SEA-AUS-SJC-PDX. And that will conclude the week.

I really should be home. Things are not all that great there. LoverBoy and me been a fightin'. MIL and me been a fightin'. LoverBoy and his Momma done been a fightin'. Things are in turmoil to say the least. And its so odd because this is not how we have run our home over the past 13 years. As of today, MIL is on Medicaid. That's what happens when any of us fail to prepare for our retirement futures. We end up giving back to the government our monthly Social Security checks in return for Medicaid taking care of our room/board/medications/nursing care in a nursing home or assisted living facility. That begins today. We're in the middle of packing up her former apartment. Her lovable old Pooch has been snatched up by a family friend -- and I miss him more than anything. LoverBoy has been on the phone many times a day and emailing back and forth with a wide variety of health care and government workers. They have been really very helpful and caring. We have begun to drive all around town looking at different facilities. The disappointing part? It doesn't matter where she ends up -- she simply won't be happy. There's always something wrong. Rarely does a visit go by that she doesn't cast a negative slant and glow on the room. Its depressing. And yesterday after witnessing her go off on a minimum-wage worker at her current care facility, I told her off good. And then marched my ass down to the front lobby -- my ears on fire, my pulse racing, my head aching, and my mouth in full gear. I've had it. Needless to say, I need to be home. For patching up with LoverBoy, for mending his broken heart, for helping do what I can to assist him. He knows I love him. Dearly. And he knows how much it doesn't make me feel good when I hurt him.

We've developed this lovely little habit of having Happy Hour each Tuesday night at one of our favorite local gay haunts Crush Bar. Their Happy Hour prices go all evening on Tuesdays so that's how the whole gig started. It feels like Cheers. Only we don't sit around the bartender. And there's no catchy song playing. It feels good. Friends do that for friends, you know. And we really need our friends right now. (Gawd, I sound like an old whiny, bitchy letch......which I hate.....).

Gotta run kids. I'm in Austin, Texas, tonight and I'm exhausted after a 3:45am wakeup this morning and a 03:30am wakeup tomorrow. I'm getting old. And I have to be happy and service people with a smile. Oh, wait, serve them with a smile may be more appropriate.

11 comments:

Ur-spo said...

I hope your travels are safe
I hope things at home settle down.

Dave2 said...

Illness in the family is a tough one, but you're two of the best people I know. I have every confidence you'll navigate this storm. :-)

Lemuel said...

My heart goes out to you and Lover Boy. I hope you are both able to see through the hurt and the pain and let love triumph and heal. Big hugs to you both!

FlipFlopsBoy said...

Love and prayers...FFB

BosGuy said...

I understand how it can be tough to travel when there's been words back home. My partner was a F.A. for UAL for 9 years. Get some rest.

Mark in DE said...

Trying to please MIL is a futile pursuit. As you said, she will always find something wrong, so you musn't take it personally. You are human and allowed to 'blow up' on occasion. LoverBoy knows how you really feel inside and loves you for it. You're both under a lot of stress right now. Hang in there! Sending you peace and patience.

Anne said...

sometimes i wonder, just for a moment, if the olden days weren't way more simple. no cell phones or computers or hard-ass jobs taking our souls. we could pick potatoes and lie under the trees. old people take care of young, then young people take care of old, and life revolves.

anne marie said...

I have nothing to offer but {{{{{hugs}}}}}...

Birdie said...

Big hugs, sweetie, for both of you. This kind of long-term stress wears out the most patient of people.

I had to laugh at your closing sentence. I just cannot convince my husband to quit saying "service my customers." The verb is SERVE. A stud services a mare. A prostitute services her customers. He doesn't care.

CJ/Rick said...

Don't you feel great Lewis? After you have an episode like that didn't you just feel as though...well you know. I know it's tough being away from someone you love when things are out of kelter. Hang in there. For some reason I was smiling when I saw that you were in Texas. Fly right.

tornwordo said...

Wow, that is the suck. I hope things get squared away soon. Hugs.