We've been under snow and ice for a week now...like many of you have been. (Don't you just wish we could all be together, fireplace going, drinking hot drinks, eating amazing food, and have the heat turned up......oh, and snuggle under the warmth of a down comforter too.) Reminds of of a number of winters ago.....ten or more....when I was living in horribly conservative Boise, Idaho. You see, what happens there when you're horny is that you go to the Fruit Loop near the east end of Ann Morrison Park. You sit, wait, flash your lights, go around again, rub your crotch, hope, wish, pray. Now, every guy in the whole region is there: gay, straight, closeted (many), Mormon (many more), conservative Christian (crazy numbers), bi, whatever. You're all there together staring at the same piece of meat. The park used to close at midnight. Somewhere along the line, it shifted to "dusk." It's snowy, cold, and piled deep in snow this particular winter night. 11:30pm. I'm naked, totally naked, in the front seat of my pickup (every boy in Idaho has one) with some other guy who is also totally indisposed. Truck is running, heater turned on. It's an easy spot to keep one eye on the park entrance.....to watch for police who come cruising in to harass the weenie-seekers. So, things are progressing nicely until I happen to look out the back window of the truck and see a police cruiser just starting to turn into the parking area where we're at. Damn! How did I not notice that cop coming in. Must have been preoccupied. So, I start driving. Naked. There's no way that I'm stopping to exchange pleasantries with the Boise City Police Department while my pants are draped across the back of the passenger's seat. Not a chance. About this time, the cop thinks that I'm trying to escape....so on go the red and blue flashers and HER voice booming out of the speaker on the top of the car...."please pull over." No way...not until I can get my thingy covered up. It's cold, definitely scared, and the "boys" are hiding. And I am too. So, I'm driving....a manual shift truck, of course. Pulling up my jeans, putting on the other dude's t-shirt backwards and inside out, and no shoes or socks. My little cold toes are hitting the gas to keep my distance from the police until I get it all covered up. The other guy, whose pallor has turned ashen, has my shirt on. Who cares. I pull over. I can see her coming up in the rear view mirror. I'm more nervous than Dick Cheney's hunting partner. About that time, here come two more cop cars directly at me from the front......lights are on, roaring into the park.....she's called for backup since I started driving away. Now I'm blocked in. "Good evening. Do you know that the park closes at dusk?" God, she's nice. And, now, here come two other cops....every one of them a chick! You've got to be kidding. So, that makes three lesbians plus us two scared/married/gay??? guys all in one spot in Boise. Sounds like a convention. And all of this while the rest of the world sleeps away. In peace. She writes me a ticket for being in the park after hours. And visions of jail and telling my wife dance through my head. I went before the judge, paid the $5 fine, and left. Wonder if it's still on my record? And, bigger issue: What do I do with the other guy's t-shirt? Do you think my wife will mind washing it for me before I return it to him?
22 comments:
Lewis, sounds like you’ve had a very interesting life… LOL! You didn’t happen to take a picture of all that while you were driving, did you? ;-)
And damn, yall've got snow... and here I am complaining about just a little bit of ice. We never got any snow... =( But that ice got me out of classes today so I'm a happy little fox!
Cute pic btw!
Oh you are durrrty! I knew I liked reading you for some reason. Never would I have guessed you in such a scenario, but makes for a nice story to heat things up on a cold winter's morning here in the MidWest.
Yes I know you're unavailable, but I'm going to trump slyd and say "Sexy pic btw!"
Sounds like something that would have happened on Reno 911. Thank goodness you only received a $5 ticket!
Now that is an uncompromising position I would not want to be in? I guess you won't foget that, will ya? LOL.
It can't have been pleasant to go through but I'm sure you're aware that there's also something very funny about the incident in the way you tell it.
Hot picture of you, indeed.
Oh man, wild times, I could tell you stories, I hope we meet one day! I like that pic too!
Sounds like we could swap some stories... and yea - hot pic!
Gawd, what an awful story. So scary, and could have ended much, much worse. Can't say I miss Idaho overmuch m'self.
Lewis, wish i could read this. one of my eyes (left) is fuzzy and a bit cloudy. will go see Dr. tomorrow. From what I could make out this sounds like a very good story! Will give it another go tomorrow night.
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Just posted Tony nude painting (his first one of 2007).
You were married? We need to talk.
And yeah, your pics are sexy. All of them.
Unforgettable.
niiiice.... It seems every city in the world has its own "fruit loop" not that I would know were it is here in Vancouver, nope, no idea at all, really...
Driving naked is usually fun, but driving naked away from the police never is. Glad nothing really bad came of it.
Was the other guy's shirt nice? ;)
A similar thing happened to me in college with the Pima County police. Luckily we had just finished and put on our clothes but the windows were steamy. They took our DLs and ran them and let us go our way. I was scared shitless.
I can't help it, I loved this story! The last sentence is classic.
Wow, reminds me of a simular park In St Louis where I used to hang out. Fortunately, I was never caught in the same situation as you found yourself in.
Geeez, your prob lucky they were chicks...Dont know about over there but Male Police are far more abrupt here in Aussieland. I had a situation like that here a few years back. It was such bullshit I was going to report it as harrassment...$5...Thats a small fine for lewd behaviour...lol
==>We've been under snow and ice for a week now...like many of you have been. (Don't you just wish we could all be together, fireplace going, drinking hot drinks, eating amazing food, and have the heat turned up......oh, and snuggle under the warmth of a down comforter too.)
Oh yes. Make mine warmed up brandy please. And smoked salmon and cream cheese on some fancy crackers. Once you go down comforter and pillows, anything else is like sleeping on bags of rocks using cements blocks as pillows. Today it hit 50 something here. Had my tres hottie gardener over to help me hack the garden back into stunning pre-spring shape. My 150 plus rhododendrons (all different hybrids and species) are loaded with buds ready to start popping. I fertilized the rose garden today. Crocus will be in bloom soon, as will my rhododendron “Christmas Cheer”.
That pic of you is great. It is like the picture in the dictionary next to the word “Cabin Fever”.
Great story. Oh god the Mormon Church is so “homo-land”. I was a Mormon for a while, and so many of the ‘straight married’ men that I met were homo-eroticized. I have a central American friend who once admitted that he and his missionary (in Guatemala) had gay BJ and butt pirate sex while he was being courted to join the church back in the 1970’s when he was a teenager. Later in the US, his boyfriend was a married Mexican Mormon.
I almost got busted once in a major tourist area (Twin Peeks) in San Francisco in my car -- was with a young Thai muscle bunny who went passion crazy – got my pants off and was blowing me as we were parked on night right in a tourist area with people walking past the car (we had just been out to dinner on a first date – he had put a note on my car when I had parked it earlier in the week). I really did not want to do it that way – but he was so cute and built like there was no tomorrow, and...well...you know how it goes. When we were finished and I got my pants back up, only then did the cops come and show the flash light into the car to see what was going on. Not sure what the penalty would have been in San Francisco...probably a snicker and a slap on the wrist?
The relationship was prematurely aborted by a careless remark I made that scared him off. I regret it to this day as I unintentionally hurt his feelings. His name was Chai. He had been given away by his family at a young age to the Buddhist monks and had many interesting stories about that part of his life.
Don’t we all have those things that we said or did that cannot be made right that we regret saying, or doing forever. If only we were born with all wisdom in place instead of learning by trial and error.
oh my. this makes me enjoy summers out in fire island even more, where the only thing i have to worry about in the meatrack and the dick dock is getting caught by my roomie.
I was laughing my ass off reading this post. Reminds me of the time I was nekkid in the back of the SUV (put the back seats down and you got almost enough room to stretch out if you're short)with a guy in a park & ride. At least the cop let us get dressed before we had to get out of the car.
On "Reno 911", they'd have blown up your truck, or Dangle would've followed you home. What a fun memory...!
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