We've been under snow and ice for a week now...like many of you have been. (Don't you just wish we could all be together, fireplace going, drinking hot drinks, eating amazing food, and have the heat turned up......oh, and snuggle under the warmth of a down comforter too.) Reminds of of a number of winters ago.....ten or more....when I was living in horribly conservative Boise, Idaho. You see, what happens there when you're horny is that you go to the Fruit Loop near the east end of Ann Morrison Park. You sit, wait, flash your lights, go around again, rub your crotch, hope, wish, pray. Now, every guy in the whole region is there: gay, straight, closeted (many), Mormon (many more), conservative Christian (crazy numbers), bi, whatever. You're all there together staring at the same piece of meat. The park used to close at midnight. Somewhere along the line, it shifted to "dusk." It's snowy, cold, and piled deep in snow this particular winter night. 11:30pm. I'm naked, totally naked, in the front seat of my pickup (every boy in Idaho has one) with some other guy who is also totally indisposed. Truck is running, heater turned on. It's an easy spot to keep one eye on the park entrance.....to watch for police who come cruising in to harass the weenie-seekers. So, things are progressing nicely until I happen to look out the back window of the truck and see a police cruiser just starting to turn into the parking area where we're at. Damn! How did I not notice that cop coming in. Must have been preoccupied. So, I start driving. Naked. There's no way that I'm stopping to exchange pleasantries with the Boise City Police Department while my pants are draped across the back of the passenger's seat. Not a chance. About this time, the cop thinks that I'm trying to escape....so on go the red and blue flashers and HER voice booming out of the speaker on the top of the car...."please pull over." No way...not until I can get my thingy covered up. It's cold, definitely scared, and the "boys" are hiding. And I am too. So, I'm driving....a manual shift truck, of course. Pulling up my jeans, putting on the other dude's t-shirt backwards and inside out, and no shoes or socks. My little cold toes are hitting the gas to keep my distance from the police until I get it all covered up. The other guy, whose pallor has turned ashen, has my shirt on. Who cares. I pull over. I can see her coming up in the rear view mirror. I'm more nervous than Dick Cheney's hunting partner. About that time, here come two more cop cars directly at me from the front......lights are on, roaring into the park.....she's called for backup since I started driving away. Now I'm blocked in. "Good evening. Do you know that the park closes at dusk?" God, she's nice. And, now, here come two other cops....every one of them a chick! You've got to be kidding. So, that makes three lesbians plus us two scared/married/gay??? guys all in one spot in Boise. Sounds like a convention. And all of this while the rest of the world sleeps away. In peace. She writes me a ticket for being in the park after hours. And visions of jail and telling my wife dance through my head. I went before the judge, paid the $5 fine, and left. Wonder if it's still on my record? And, bigger issue: What do I do with the other guy's t-shirt? Do you think my wife will mind washing it for me before I return it to him?