Begging for Mercy

Anybody in the Boston area? I have an upcoming trip to Boston and am wondering if anyone would care to have dinner....on Tuesday August 28. Just sort of checking it out at this point...how about Seattle tomorrow (August 2) or Las Vegas?

And now onto very serious matters. I have blogged in the past , and again here, about unpleasant family issues going on. You'll see a letter below that I have written to the Prosecuting Attorney who is working against my family member. A number of people, including me, have been asked to write these letters. Basically, begging mercy for her charges to be reduced. I've never had to beg mercy for someone's well being before. It's painful and horrible. Without the reduced charges, she faces serious prison time, loss of job, loss of her home, loss of her daughter. All of that after making such giant strides in her life five years ago to give up alcohol, drugs, and 28 years of horrible living. She has given me permission to publish this letter. She is an amazing and loving lady. We've had to reintroduce ourselves to one another since her sobriety. And now, another mistake has left her with potentially life-altering consequences. All that she had done in the past five years stands ready to be washed down the drain. I'm heartbroken.

Dear Prosecuting Attorney:

I can’t begin to tell you how it has been to have my ____ back. After drinking and drugs, living on the street, holding no job, contributing little to society, and not functioning as an adult in our world, she has made a 180 degree turnaround. You see, I never knew her to be sober much of our growing up life. She started at age nine. And continued in a horrible way until age 38. Our family life was not pleasant because of her actions. She caused us hurt, harm, and -- even -- hatefulness. Life was hell in many ways.

July 2002 brought her to soberness. She was living on the streets of Portland because I wouldn’t allow her to come to my home. “Not until you’re ready to get your life straight” was the rule I held fast to. It broke my heart to tell her that she was not welcome to come stay. But I knew, somehow, that was the right decision. Next thing I knew, she was living in a halfway house and had stopped drinking. I didn’t believe her. 29 years of drinking, and all that comes with it, left me with a bitter and cynical attitude. But, I was proved wrong. Thankfully, I was wrong. It’s one of those miracles that you never expect…especially when it comes to alcohol and drugs. Things seldom get better. People have a hard time getting clean. But she did. She began going to AA meetings, even began hosting a meeting of her own, held down a job at a pizza restaurant after talking the owner into hiring her, and later became one of the managers there. She paid off every fine that she’d accumulated. She made amends with creditors, family members, friends, those she’d hurt or harmed. Even a bus driver! Every one that she could think of, she went back -- face to face -- and asked them to give her another chance and to forgive her. She studied, took up playing the violin again, and began to help others along the same dark path. Her smile brightened again. The years of hard-road living actually began to sort of fall off of her face. She became a beautiful woman, smiling, happy, hard working….and sober. The daughter that she’d not always taken very good care of was finally able to know her mom as a new person. A healthy, contributing parent with a good sense of right and wrong, acceptable and not acceptable. Finally! My niece was going to eventually be able to be back with her mom. Safe and accepted, like every child wants.

My beautiful ____ celebrated her fifth year of sobriety a couple of weeks ago. July 10. I called her to tell her “Happy AA Birthday” and to tell her how proud I am of her. Her accomplishments and for doing what most never do…..try, work hard, succeed, and make something of their broken lives. She did. In a big way. She was asked to speak at various women’s groups and other events. People wanted to know her story. It gave them hope and something to keep trying for. It has been quite a nice adventure getting to know this woman who is my ____. The last five years have been filled with blessings, good times, healthy talk, habits and growth…for our entire family.

I am still trying to make sense of a system that does not reward good behavior. A system that doesn’t appear to be set up to help those who are honestly trying to change their ways. A system that beats down rather than builds up. My ____ has never played the victim. She has faced responsibility, owned up when things are wrong, and never felt sorry for herself. She is now on the brink of losing the only job she’s held this long, the only home she’s ever had by herself, and the only car she’s owned for this long. She is about to lose friends and family. And, probably the biggest loss will be that she is going to be forced to have her beautiful, intelligent daughter come and visit her in prison. I am having a hard time figuring out how that is good for a child. In a country where we claim to want the best for children, and where we want them taken care of, how this can possibly be beneficial for the mental health of an ailing child. You see, her daughter (my ____) has a congenital heart defect. She has already faced one open heart surgery and continues to undergo twice annual medical checkups. Who knows what the future holds for her. But having to go and visit her mother, whose hope is high and whose future is bright, is certainly not what we should be putting our children through.

Everyone makes mistakes. Without exception. Those who own up to them and change their ways should be rewarded, not beaten down and broken further. It is time for all of us to help others succeed. On behalf of myself, my family, my beautiful niece, and my amazing ____, I ask for your mercy for my _____. My eyes are filled with the biggest tears you’ve ever seen right now. It is hard to ask and difficult to see. I’ve never had to ask for mercy on someone else’s behalf. It’s amazing that as we look at the course of each of our lives that we see the ups and downs, the good and bad, the inexcusable and the beauty. All of it. Today, with my heart broken and tears rolling down my cheeks, I ask you to look out for one who is trying, desperately, to succeed and win. She needs all of us right now. To get behind her, not in front of her. To hand her tools to work with, not weapons to tear down. Please, I ask you to help her, not hinder her, at this critical point in her journey. I would hate for this to be the time in her life when she decided it just wasn’t worth it. A woman of wisdom and preciousness is waiting to continue down the path of life. I am asking you to reduce her Felony DUI to a Misdemeanor. The effect this would have on our family is immeasurable. Thank you for your understanding and consideration.

Sincerely and with Expectation,

If you'd like to send her a well wish, I know that she is sucking the life out of every bit of encouragement she can find right now. In the interest of keeping things a little anonymous for the time being, please email me at alewispdx@gmail.com and will print them off and mail them to her.