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Monday, December 08, 2008

96,096 Hours and Counting


Today marks 11 years since my honey and I said "I do" in the dog food aisle at a Safeway grocery store on 10th Street in downtown Portland that is no longer even there. It was December 9, 1997, when I said to him, "So, is this thing going to work out for us in the long term or not"? I can be so direct at times. He was ending a not-so-pretty 12-year relationship and I had been divorced out of a 7-year marriage earlier in the year. There were many who stamped our newfound relationship "rebound." And, for all we knew, it was. Who knows at the beginning of something what it really is or what it will look like years from now? Last year I had this to say about my love. And two years ago, it were these words that I penned.

I have pushed him to the limit at times, and he the same. I've asked him to do things that he would probably never have considered had it not been me asking. I've made comments to him that were totally inappropriate and even hurtful. He still chose to love me. He overlooks my many faults and shores up the weak spots in my life. He has seen me at my worst and my best. He has certainly seen me lose my temper. He's heard harsh emotions and flippant remarks. He has cried himself to sleep because of me. Even when I'm flippant or my heart becomes hard, he still understands...at his own expense, many times, I'm afraid. That kills me. Sometimes to see the look of pain in his own eyes.....he's such a caring soul....way down deep sort of soul. He does things that I don't like to do hapilly....without comment or rebuke. He takes the dog out repeatedly because he knows how much I can't stand waiting, waiting, waiting, for a pee and poop. And last night we watched Great Performances on PBS -- David Foster, The Hit Man. If you don't know of David, I'll bet you actually do....he's done music for everyone for many years. And throughout the evening, my eyes kept on filling up with tears at the love I have for my man. Over and over.....he kept saying to me, "again?" Yes, again. And I imagine my tears will continue. That's just me. The end of the concert was Josh Groban singing You Raise Me Up. And that did it. The well opened up and spewed water out of my eyes....down my cheeks and nearly onto the pooch.


He holds a place in my life much like a very valuable and essential old pair of good shoes. Comfortable, warm, reliable, always there, takes me any place I'd like to go, stylish, functional, and horribly handsome. He's not so sure he likes this analogy. But I do. (And you already know about my foot and shoe fetish, so that should come as no surprise!). I often (always?) look at people's shoes and wonder the many journeys that they carry people. Here and there, state to state, and even around the globe. They go to the gym, to work, to church and club and party. They are often not thought about because we know they'll always be there. And when we get home, they go into the closet, tossed into the darkness. As much as I hate to admit it, we take them for granted...much like I do my man from time to time. But he's always there. In my waking and my lying down. In my rising up and my rest. We've gone through many, many difficult times in our eleven years. Not necessarily interpersonal relationship troubles between the two of us (although there have been several), but pressures and obligations from the outside. He's grown so much since I met him. He's changed, I've changed. He's grown up, me too. Side by side.
My dear, no matter the road, I will always be there for you. I cannot be everything to you -- nor you to me. But the position you hold in my life is immeasurable beyond belief. The journey definitely changes, the view, the sounds, the people passing us along the road. But it's no worry to us. We rest in the solidarity of one another. And at the end of the day, like the shoes, I will be there for you. To carry you wherever you want to go much like you carry me frequently. Because I love you and can't imagine spending my days with anyone else. Happy 96,096 hours....that's 11 years to you. Hell, we haven't even reached a 100,000 hours yet.....we've got a long way to go!

34 comments:

(F)redddy said...

I so loved your story.

annie said...

happy almost 100,000. i am very proud of the mate you each have chosen. the part about safeway had me crying. i am 100% certain that he would see all the "bad stuff" in context. many, many more happy hours to you. thank you for creating another star to reach for.

Unity said...

Wonderful way of putting how two people choose to love each other unconditionally. Really enjoyed reading your anniversary post. Many blessings for many more years of happiness together!

-found through a blog on WordPress.com

emeraldcityguy said...

Great words! Congrats guys. Was it the ghetto Safeway down the street from PSU? Went there a few times when my friends were at PSU. My parents forbid my sister from shopping there alone when she went to school at PSU.

Nathan said...

Happy Anniversary guys! :)

wcs said...

All the best to both of you!

anne marie in philly said...

11 years...congrats to the handsome couple! what a very heartfelt posting!

DanNation said...

Beautiful post! Congrats you two!

Sorted Lives said...

You two are very lucky to have each other!

tornwordo said...

Happy anniversary, and here's to many more. You look so cute together.

Gregorio said...

I loved your story! Really good...:)

Greg

Gregorio said...

I loved your story! Really good...:)

Greg

Lemuel said...

Sitting here moisting up. A very beautiful tribute to your husband, Lewis!

Happy anniversary to you both! with wishes for happiness to 100,000 - 200,000 - 300,000 and more - hours together.

Ur-spo said...

I little bird told me it was your anniversary.
Indeed congratulations to two happy fortunate men - may your lives continue to grow and prosper.

Greg said...

Happy Anniversary!!!!!

K-A said...

Congratulations... So beautiful. You made me cry!

Rob (Inukshuk Adventure) said...

Great post, honest and from the heart. Happy Anniversary to you both.

Anonymous said...

Congrats to the both of you!! You are both so lucky to have each other and your love for each other really shows. May you both have many more years together.
I love David Foster by the way...Canadian boy :) I was actually on the same Ferry as him many years ago.
Lila

WAT said...

I raise my coffee mug here whilst at work and salute you two. Many more happy years to come...

TJ said...

Better late than never, Happy Belated Anniversary to you both! Here's to many more hours of happiness and love.

Breenlantern said...

beautiful post
beautiful men
beautiful love
congrats guys
we love you

Laurie said...

HAPPY 'ANNIVERSARY'!!!!
I'm so glad for the both of you....


TACKLE YOU BOTH HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!

Joseph said...

Happy anniversary! Wishing you both all the best in life.

Erik said...

Happy anniversary to the both of you!

RAD said...

HAPPY Anniversary you crazy sexy handsome boys!

Iron Fist said...

dammit Lewis, you are going to make me get all teary-eyed with this post.

Congratulations and happy anniversary to both of you!

afod said...

Happy anniversary! Here's to proving all those who cried "Rebound" wrong. May you celebrate another 50 years! Thanks for sharing.

Dave2 said...

Happy Anniversary to you both!

Birdie said...

I raise a glass to the two of you. Congratulations. It only gets better.

Mark in DE said...

Happy anniversary!!! Wishing you at least another 100,000,000 hours.

Mark :-)

bridgeout said...

Beautiful!! Both the _real life_ and loving words, and how that photo at the bottom captures the beauty and difference in your brown and blue eyes. Here's to many many more years of loving, growing and living together!! {HUGS}!!!

Wendy

Brettcajun said...

That is SOOOO sweet! Awww... I am jealous!

CJ said...

What a goodlooking ball and chain you have there Lewis. ;)

Wayne said...

Your 1/3 of the way to catching us! And it's been the fastest 32 years. Gawd! it's hard seeing that big number! Craig didn't think it'd last 6 months!