Recovering From Our Present

You know, I'm not so sure we need to recover from our past. The incessant whining about how we were dealt the short stick in life, the job we don't like, the house or car we'd like to have, the aches and pains of our ailing bodies, the terrible job our parents did raising us, the poor little Bible thumpers that hate us and discriminate us, and all of the rest. Instead, I'm sort of thinking that we need to be rescued from our present.....the glib course of self-destruction that we've finely crafted for ourselves. The present days in which we live are pretty funky...and not necessarily in a good way. I feel sometimes like we're on a breakneck course through the decades -- speeding along toward who knows what destination with little regard for our globe or those who we rub shoulders with from day to day. We require our iPhones, our laptops, our time and space, our Bluetooth, good service wherever we go, quiet neighbors, Apple this or that, family and friends who we like being around and who we expect to love us in spite of the crap we drag into their lives -- and we're not willing to sacrifice or go without any of it. Our pocketbooks dwindle and our economy ebbs and tides at the brink of destruction. It's not a pretty picture.

We no longer seem to need the peacefulness of the night nor the solitude of the single first ray of sun in the mornings. We seem to have misplaced the eroticism of a summer garden tomato splashing about in our mouths in exchange for a cardboard box of processed food. We apparently find it a waste of time to have to crank and crank and crank an ice cream maker while sprinkling tiny bits of rock salt and ice on it in order to close our eyes, throw our heads back, and enjoy some of the world's grandest glories.....homemade ice cream. (With fresh peaches, please.) We find ourselves glancing at the time on our mobile phones and wondering exactly how much time we need to endure on our neighbor's patio -- that is, if we even know who our neighbors are. We have taken to enjoying the inside of our cars more than the outside of the universe. We find it difficult to endure a 90-minute black and white flick of yesteryear for fear our Facebook friends have "updated" or our Twitter buddies are tweeting/ twitting/whatever it's called.

Yeah folks, I'm afraid it's today that we need to recover from.

New Experiences

In general, I love new experiences...new things, new activities. And tonight, I embark on what most of you will consider a ho-hum sort of thing...but I'm more than excited. I get to operate my first Anchorage-Chicago flight......and for the first time in my 15-year flight attendant career, I get to overnight in the city of Chicago on Thursday night. Big deal, you say. I know, I know. It's the little things in life. And then, on Friday, I will be in Seattle and get to have chow with my buddy and his hubby at A Rad Homo. Unfortunately, my Chicago buddies can't get out to my hotel with the traffic and all. My layovers are very short....Anchorage for 11 hours and Chicago for 14 hours. Here's My Trip. And on Sunday, Mason and I are jumping in the car and headed to see my sister and mom in Boise, Idaho......we do love a good road trip. So, I don't know what your exciting new things are in life....but whatever they are, embrace 'em, love 'em, live 'em. (Man, that sounds nauseatingly power-of-positive thinking-ish doesn't it????)

Suffering Optional

"......Suffering is caused by change, unfulfilled longing, habits, and fluctuations in energy. Not even the most enlightened among us is immune. But in the next sutra, hope is offered when it says that we can "prevent the suffering that is yet to come." It is taught that we can have pain, yet not suffer. If we accept the inevitability of life's twists and turns and find the opportunity for growth in the struggles we face, we can prevent the unnecessary, self-inflicted suffering that comes from such feelings as guilt, blame, and regret. We can't avoid hardship in life, but through the practice of yoga, we can learn to see that our true self remains unchanged, and so we find peace and ease, even in the midst of difficulty."

From Yoga Journal, August 2009, page 22.

---- Clearly, my journey continues -----

Touched Inappropriately

Have I mentioned that I get touched inappropriately sometimes? In fact, it's not unusual at all. On the hips, butt, upper thigh, back, kneecaps. All of the naughtiest of body parts. And quite near the the hidden treasure -- the shrinking violet.

I mean, believe me, I'm no prude -- quite the opposite. In fact, if it were a 25-year old hottie touching me in, you know, "that way," I wouldn't be complaining at all (I may even send out an invitation). It happens at work. With some regularity. I spend most of my life with my midsection at eye and finger poking level of my customers. And for reasons I cannot explain, customers sometimes feel it okay to poke, prod, touch instead of saying "excuse me" when they need something. It's a weird phenomenon. I can't think of any place that any of us go to where it is ever appropriate to reach out and touch someone that we don't know. A restaurant? Post office? Grocery store? Bus? Work? Nope....no place that I can think of. Except in an airplane, apparently. I have had one man tell me to "get your ass out of my face"...but that's a whole other story from years ago.

My typical responses when it happens are one of these three: (1) I turn right around and poke them back on their shoulder and say, "You poke me, I poke you....now what may I help you with?" (2) or "I'll give you one poke for free and then I'll expect a $50 bill on the nightstand"; (3) or"I'll give you one poke for free but then I'll have to charge you."

And the funny thing is that if I could figure out exactly when, and by who, the touching was going to occur, I get the funny feeling that I may just make an intentional, deliberate, point to turn right toward them at just the precise moment so that their bony little finger would mash itself right squarely into my you-know-what. I sort of think it would be entertaining to watch their face and see their reaction as I yelled, "Hey, that's my weenie you're touching!" But knowing how checked out most of the traveling public is nowadays, it probably wouldn't phase them. They wouldn't even get what had happened. They'd just look at me funny and then continue right on with "Gimme another cream and sugar," like they usually do. The more refined and astute would utter the compliment, "Oh, and nice wee-wee, by the way." One can only hope.

I mean, what am I? A prostitute for poking and prodding? Don't answer that.

Center and Focus Have Gone Missing

It's clear I've lost my center. My focus. I just returned from a real bitch of a yoga class. My first in maybe three or four weeks which is entirely too long for something that I've come to need in such a giant way. In addition to the physical being not being prepared for class today it was painfully clear that my center point, my focus, my breath have gone missing. I've obviously allowed toxic attitudes in from the outside -- I rarely do that. In fact, I swear against it. And once they are in, they come back out of me in the form of giving bad attitudes to others. And that's a cycle that is nothing but crap. I don't believe in it. So, I confess to my lack of balance as of late. I confess to allowing outside negativity into my being. I confess to skipping out on yoga when I need it to remain a viable human being in this world. My mat and I need dates way more often than we've been getting them.

Provincetown Bear Week 2009 Recap

And....we're home. On the ground and home in Portland. The big load of laundry has been done. And we've been regrouping and resting this afternoon. We've been up since 1am our time and will, no doubt, be ready for bed this evening. Bear Week in Provincetown, Massachusetts, was, to say the least, an eye candy orgasmic feast. I had a bit of skepticism about how I would fit into a Bear crowd....not being one myself. But my doubts were soon allayed. I met so many fantastic people and drank so much beer. We met every afternoon at 4pm for the daily Tea Dance.....which was nothing more than drinking, dancing, chatting, staring, and making lewd comments about everyone around us. There was no shortage of fun. All of my pictures are here. It was an interesting week in that I was able to stand back and really get a good look at everyone around me....because, in all seriousness, very few people were looking at me....I have minimal chest hair (except for the stray gray ones around my nipples). And my little teeny tiny baby arms couldn't begin to stand up to the giant muscle bears all around me. So, I watched, chatted, looked, and ogled. No complaints. Our friends in Albany were the greatest hosts ever complete with making sure we had clean sheets, lots of food, and a beautiful pool to relax by (and shoot naked pictures around)....there were ten of us in the house along with a zillion other friends and friends of friends. And last night, a couple of new friends in Albany were kind enough to host a beauty of a BBQ in their garden. Delicious food, lovely new acquaintances, and a nice summertime vacation. Oh, and did I mention a whale watching cruise wherein we saw more than a dozen of the ocean's finest. But, alas, we're home. And happy. Now, back to work......and back to the gym. So that next year I can be the Bear Week poster boy.

Back in Albany

After a very nice week with a few thousand hot men in Provincetown

Another Stella Artois

Provincetown Monument

Tea Dance Bear Week Provincetown

Bear Week Provincetown

On Cape Cod

On the way to Provincetown

Bear Week 2009 Provincetown !!

I'm a little disappointed...I really thought that listening to the same-sex partners of some in our military would have drawn a little more than only five comments....and that doesn't even indicate how many even checked it out......but, alas, I do understand....the time commitment, the lack of time in people's schedules, and the less than happy material to watch...but, again, I encourage you to do so.....it's amazing to listen to.

I'm doing my best to get over this cold/allergy/pneumonia/chest cough and congestion. It's been terrible but I'm in the middle of antibiotics and doing everything I can to make it better. And, of course, these sorts of things never come at a good time.....because we've been planning for this week for a very long time. We've been invited to spend Bear Week 2009 in Provincetown with the iBears in a house where 11 of us will be frolicking and cavorting. For a week. Neither of us have ever been to P-Town and neither of us are really bears. But we've been welcomed right into this circle of amazing friends and....so....WE GO! We leave on Thursday for 12 days away from home. First, we board this airplane for a flight to Newark:


Then, we sit for three hours when we'll be iPhoning and carrying on like crazy people during our layover. After that, we board this plane:

A quick flight to Albany will put us in the good care of these boys: And the next day we'll be headed to Providence, Rhode Island, where we'll join this group:

And from there, who knows. We're looking forward to a whole new experience in our lives. Whatever happens, it's all good. So, in spite of the fact that we'll have our laptops with us, I'm not sure how much blogging will go on this week. We're not home until the 20th....so I you may find me scarce around here until after that time.

In Their Boots -- Silent Partners

UPDATE: Apparently some of you are not able to view the embedded video. Here is the link to the site where I hope you can see it properly.

In Their Boots is a documentary series about the impact the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are having on people here at home. Every episode features a documentary about how America’s servicemen and women, their families, and our communities have been profoundly changed by our nation's campaigns in Iraq and Afghanistan. Shot on location throughout the country, these stories stress the courage of our participants, and the valor of the people and organizations that help our heroes on their journey.



The episode above is titled “Silent Partners” and is a look at the hidden effects of the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell law through the eyes of 3 partners of deployed service members. The video is just over 30 minutes long -- and it's more than worth your attention and devotion to spending 30 minutes looking at the Silent Partners of those in our military. Those who cannot speak, or even have their names known, because of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. You'll need a Kleenex, I assure you. Don't breeze on past this one, folks....it's easy to do in the blogosphere. So, skip your sit-com this time around, grab your partner, friend or family, and check this out. Even if it's not today, bookmark it and set it aside for sometime in the near future.



What an honorable and fitting way for us to honor our service men and women on this 4th of July holiday.

4th of July Drivel

Holy smokes, kids. I've been swamped. Just finished a three-day trip and still have three more work days to go before we're on holiday. Here's the scoop in bullet form:

1. We're off to Albany, New York, where we'll be met by Idle Eyes and a Dormy along with his handsome husband next Thursday. On Friday, we'll be joining the rest of the iBears group and heading to Providence, Rhode Island, for the night. Then, on Saturday we'll be continuing on to Provincetown, Massachusetts, to dive headfirst into Bear Week 2009 in P-Town. It's a place we've never been at an annual event that draws thousands. Not being a bear, I'm smearing massive amounts of Rogaine on my back in hopes to fit in.

2. Tomorrow, July 4, would have been my father's 78th birthday. I miss our 4th of July BBQs complete with red, white, and blue birthday cakes and family gatherings in the park with giant slices of cold watermelon. Why is it that some memories still twist at the heart strings of one's life?

3. I had the chance to say hi to Rachelle Lefevre today. I told her that having to work is so overrated...and I asked her why I couldn't be independently wealthy and retire. She laughed.

4. Summer is here in Portland. We love going to Portland City Concerts in the Parks which we'll do as much as we can when we get back from holiday. We always take a picnic and enjoy ourselves. It's one of our favorite annual events.

5. I'm outta creative things to say except for Happy 4th of July. Enjoy. It's one of my favorites...and we have no plans whatsoever. I'm sorta bummed.