Imani (ee-MAH-nee) is the seventh and last day of Kwanzaa. Imani means faith. On this day, the beginning of the new year we pledge to believe with all our hearts and minds in our people, our parents, our good and dedicated teachers and leaders, and in the greater good of the work we do with and for one another, for the community and for the people. Check out IEAADfor his final day of Kwanzaa post.
We spent our New Year's Eve at this yummy restaurant followed by a cold walk along the Willamette River in downtown Portland. It's clear and cold. The stars were out. The bridges all decorated in lights. We took a fantastic walk around downtown, past Pioneer Place to take one last glimpse at "Portland's Living Room" and it's Christmas tree. I wish you all a 2008 filled with all that we've learned about Kwanzaa this week: Unity, Self Determination, Collective Work and Responsibility, Cooperative Economics, Purpose, Creativity, and Faith. It's a tall order, folks. My best to you. Today and always.
Kuumba (koo-OOM-bah) is the sixth day of Kwanzaa, and it means "creativity". On this day, we pledge several things. We pledge to do whatever we can to make our communities and homes more beautiful and better than we found them. We also pledge to use our creative talents and energies to improve young minds and hearts. And you'll find one of the hottest guys on the East Coast doing parallel posts on Kwanzaa...check out Idle Eyes here.
I wish you all the very best last day of 2007 ever. Don't let the sun set on any bad thoughts, bad habits, bad attitudes, or bad vibes tonight. Put them to rest, permanently. Let's all try and start this new year out fresh -- with some sort of good energy, happy hearts and spirits, and heading in a positive direction.
So, hell....a U.S. District Court Judge (Mormon guy, appointed by G. W. Bush in 2003) tells same sex couples in Oregon that he won't let them gain domestic partnership benefits beginning on January 1. Really pulled the rug outta them at the 11th hour. A real weenie. So, sour lemons...right? Screw it...I'm making lemonade out of it. I went shopping! Online. I found Apollo Wearvia a link through a banner ad. Order myself a couple of pair. And Voila! They arrived today. The Diesel boxer briefsare nice and soft and they'll be perfect. The Calvin Klein striped ones....tighter than hell. And I ordered a large (which is way more than I normally do having a tender 31-inch waist). You couldn't even get a cat hair in between the waist band and my tender skin. They're freaking embedded....just like a reporter in Baghdad. So, check them out. Give Apollo a little business if you like. They were prompt, pleasant, and I may have to go back for more.
Nia (NEE-ah) is the fifth day of Kwanzaa and it means "purpose". On this day,we pledge to build and develop our communities, our schools and our families. We also pledge to provide a strong communal foundation from which our children can develop into strong and productive people. Don't forget to check out my buddy's site over at IEAAD for his continuing series on Kwanzaa too.
You'll find all sorts of information hereabout yesterday's serious setback to Oregon issuing domestic partnership certificates to same sex couples. Keep working for justice, folks. Remember....the RIGHT ISN'T AT ALL.
Ujamaa (OOH-jah mah) means cooperative economics and is the fourth day of Kwanzaa. On this day of Kwanzaa, we pledge to develop our own businesses and to support them, to maintain shops, stores and industry that contribute to the well-being of our community and to drive out businesses (boycott, etc.) that take from our communities and give nothing back.
In Other News:
It's a sad day here in Oregon. Oregon was all set to begin issuing domestic partnership certificates to same-sex couples on January 1. Hundreds of couples were planning on being in line early on the 2nd (1st is a holiday)....and we were all set to go down and volunteer to process the couples. In horrible, late breaking news tonight, a judge has granted a stay on issuing the certificates. It will be put off at least until February 1. You can read about it in Gay Rights Watch, Blog Out, or on the Basic Rights Oregon site. I'm tired, folks. Really exhausted. And not feeling very pretty. And my attitude stinks.
My good friend and blogging buddy over at Idle Eyes And A Dormyand I are sharing posts on Kwanzaa this week. Be sure you check out his site for great information on this fantastic winter celebration too.
Ujima (ooh-GEE-mah) is the third day of Kwanzaa and means "collective work and responsibility". On this day we celebrate working together in the community to help others. For Ujima, we pledge to rebuild our communities and to help our people solve our own problems by working together to do it.
Kujichagulia (koo-gee-cha-goo-LEE-ah) means self-determination and is the second day of Kwanzaa. On this day, we pledge to define ourselves, to NAME ourselves, to create for ourselves, and to speak for ourselves, instead of being defined, named by, created for and spoken for by others. On this day we design for ourselves a positive future and then vow to make that prophecy -- that DREAM -- a self-fulfilling one.
Umoja (ooh-MOE-jah) means Unity, and it is the principle for the first day of Kwanzaa. Our families and communities need unity in order for them to be productive and to survive. On this day, we pledge to strive for -- and to maintain -- unity in the family, in the community, in the nation that we have helped to build, and with our PEOPLE.
What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace -- Agnes M. Pharo
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful -- Norman Vincent Peale
It's finally arrived...the big holiday weekend with all of its crazed shopping, super-sized commercialism, families that we may not even be friends with if the truth were known, stressed out drivers on the road, and naughty (in a bad way) people that Santa wouldn't even consider being nice to. You know, it's been a hell of a year around here....as with many of you. I guess that's life, isn't it -- ups and downs. Cycles. Seasons. Happiness. Sadness. They all blend together in some twisted sort of a picture to make what we call life. And it's ours....our life. We can hook our name on it and live it. I'm trying to laugh at troubles and kick bad vibes and attitudes out the back door. I just plain old don't need 'em any more. And you know, my family is on my brain over and over throughout the days. Wondering. Wishing. Waiting. I keep hearing these sappy seasonal songs with great lyrics that make me cry. I find myself staring into space.
As this year draws to a close, I am thankful for all of you, my good friends....and you are...you can count on that. I need you. I trust you. Hey, how about this: Let's look for peace where there is none. And if you have any extra, pass it around. Let's stare down trouble and give it the evil eye. And if you don't have any troubles, maybe put a warm hand on the shoulders of those of us who do. We'd appreciate it. And let's pray and trust for brighter days ahead, my confidants. Okay with you? I wish you each a beautiful holiday....whatever you celebrate, whatever you believe. Who cares. Unification and having one voice never comes from finger pointing, name calling, and thin-skinned attitudes. From my house and heart to yours, Merry Christmas. And a very happy Ho Ho Ho.
Here's How Our Weekend Is Lining Up:
Friday: Our good friends, and neighbors, Todd, Linda and Patrick, are coming down for Southwest Lasagne and a yummy delicious new salad that I've found.
Saturday: Honey and me are going to do something Christmassy....is that a word?
Sunday: Church, lunch with a pilot friend Stevein the early afternoon, open house at our neighbor's at 5pm, and then dessert open house at James and Bill's house at 7pm.
Monday: Cooking up dinner and taking it to my in-laws at 4pm; appetizers and drinks at Jan and Mike's loft in The Pearl District at 7:30; late night Christmas Eve service at church at 10pm...finished by going outside at midnight and singing songs in the cold darkness. I can hardly wait.....it's one of our favorite Christmas traditions.
Tuesday: Open a few small gifts around our tree; brunch at Alex and Paul's at 11; dinner at Alan's with other friends at 3:30pm.
Are you worn out yet? Hope yours is a happy one too.
Any hot, sexy guys close by to the LAX airport who may be interested in having an easy, quick dinner tomorrow night (Thursday)? Email me. I may not be able to get back to you until dinner time tomorrow.....since I'll be offline all day tomorrow. I know it's last minute, but just thought I'd check.
Into thy hands I offer the mind, body and spirit of my sister, asking that you raise her in the way you have created her to go. Guide my sister away from all things and people that are not aligned with her highest good. Protect my sister from those things and people that would lead her down a path that is not in alignment with her destiny as you have written it on her heart. Remove from my sister's mind all shadows of fear, doubt, anger and resentment that could cloud her mind or harden her heart. Strengthen my sister to walk away from those things and people that can in any way keep her from the divine path that you have laid before her. Open my sister's eyes that she will see and know danger. Give my sister the courage to resist all temptations that may lead to harm. Teach her to honor her body as your divine temple. Teach my sister to cherish the power of her mind. Teach my sister to use her gifts and talents wisely. Soften my sister's heart with kindness and compassion. Most of all, God, let my child know that you love her. Let my sister feel your love, know your love and express your love at all times, under all circumstances. Draw my sister close to you. Drive my sister away from patterns of thought and behavior that are not productive, honorable, healthy or self-loving. Sprinkle my sister liberally with your grace and light. Teach my sister your ways and guide her to make them a priority in her life. God, teach me to speak to my sister in a way that honors her spirit and encourages her to desire to do good at all times. Forgive me for the fears that I hold in my heart and project onto my sister. Remind me not to take my sister for granted. Teach me how to communicate and demonstrate my love in healthy and loving ways. If there is anything that I do or say that does not set a good example for my sister, please heal me of it right now! In full faith and confidence, I ask that you create a bond of love, joy, harmony, respect and kindness between me and my sister that cannot be broken by the ways of the world. For I know that as I pray this prayer, thy will is done. Let it be so! And So It Is!
I can't tell you about the exact day that it happened, but it did. Something about the roar....the speed....the up, up, and away....that made me go crazy. I think it started early when my parents used to load us all in the 1967 blue Chevy station wagon and go out to the Boise Airport. We'd park at the west end of the runway, put down the tailgate on the station wagon, and get all settled for the United Airline's DC6's that used to be a staple in Boise. And then, United (did you know that United began in Boise in 1926??) pulled out the big guns....started flying jet aircraft into Boise...the 727s. "Here it comes!" we'd all yell as the 727 began it's final turn out over the dry fields west of Boise...black smoke pouring out of it's engines. From that time on, I was hooked. After I was in junior high, I'd ask my mom to take me out to the airport and leave me for the day -- or I'd ride my bicycle out. I'd grab a printed timetable of United Airlines or Hughes Airwest and sit in the cafeteria pretending that I was important and going someplace like the other travelers there. I'd even say things out loud to my friend like "What time do we arrive in Honolulu?" We were crazy. We'd go from gate to gate and tell the airline personnel that "We've never been on an airplane before.....can we have a tour?" And, many times, the Captain would take us down and show us around. I remember the "Stewardesses" in their skirts and blouses with high necks -- complete with tall hats and gloves that rode up nearly to the elbow. Beautiful. Pretty. Smiling. They'd talk to us. From that time on, I wanted to be a Stewardess....and Air Hostess! And, of course, you'll remember the show with Jimmi and Dan on their VarietyCast earlier this year-- maybe I should go as Karen Black (Airport 1975) next Halloween.
I'm still an avid aircraft buff. You'll see the beginnings of my collection of photographs here.In case you have never heard, there is a quite a large number of people around the globe that are avidly interested in aircraft, airlines, new airplanes, routes, new cities, etc. It's an illness and needs meetings to get over it! At this point in my life, I've visited 30 or more states and close to the same number of countries. I'm so glad I started early.
My sister's time in jail begins on Monday morning. I've continued to process it in my head and heart. I still can't believe it's finally starting....right here before the holidays. It can get the best of me if I'm not careful. And it's funny, some of those near me haven't said a word of condolence or sent good thoughts or prayers. Most of my care has come from my awesome partner, from a few select friends at home, and from you....my faithful blogging friends. You mean the world to me.
I'm in the middle of a busy week....just finished spending last night in Vancouver, British Columbia.......met Derek Richardsonfrom Men In Trees where he stars with Anne Heche. I had a nice conversation with him. He's a very pleasant guy...polite, quite sociable, and really enjoyable to meet him -- and not so bad on the eyes either. We chatted about Portland a bit and also about the writer's strike.
Tomorrow I'll be spending the night in San Diego after flying into, and back out of, Los Cabos, Mexico. Friday night we're off to see the Portland Gay Men's Chorus in their holiday concert. Saturday is one of our neighbor's annual Irish Coffee Holiday party; and Sunday brings another friend's annual open house.
I can't decide which hat I like best. I think I like them all. My tender, delicate princess ears require covering during the winter, especially with the breeze blowing. So, I've collected quite a few Tuques over time. (My shopping weaknesses lie with jeans, tuques, flip flops, underwear even thought I don't typically wear them, sunglasses, ball caps, t-shirts.)
Don't forget to check out my latest photos in these sets:
Tonight, we're on our way to eat at one of our favorite little restaurants...La Buca. We have a gift certificate from our good blogging friend at Long Story Longer...and we've been saving it just for tonight, our 10th Anniversary.
Thanks to all of you who have emailed, called, or commented over the last week with regard to my family issues. I count my life happier and much more complete because of you in it. Thank you a million times over.
Well, boys and girls, tomorrow will be 10 amazing, wonderful, wild and crazy years for us. (I think that's like 223 Years in Gay years.) Some not so pretty times, most kick in the pants fun. A ton of laughs, a billion miles of travel, and much more down the road, I'm positive of it. He's quite a guy, as many of you know.
It's evening here in Idaho, the sun has set. The day has been long. And I only broke down once, horribly so, in the courtroom. It happened when my sister's lawyer was relaying the story about my sister coming all of the way to Portland, Oregon, and needing to come and stay at our home. I told her "No, not until you're finally ready to get yourself clean." She did get clean, right after that. I've always lived with that moment of saying, "No." Anyway, when the lawyer was telling that to the judge today, I sobbed. The judge was a very pleasant woman. I could tell that she really did care for my sister. In spite of the horrible situation, the sentence was minimized, in my opinion. Looks like this: 120 days in jail to begin 12/17. Eight years probation. Three years driver's license suspension. A hefty $$$ fine. AA meetings, psychiatric evaluations, and other assorted "get your act together" instructions. They did not take her away today. My honey and I drove her to the jail right after court and got her all checked in and scheduled to report on 12/17. I took her driver's license from her and handed it to the lawyer. And then I took my sister's keys from her. Seemingly nothing to most, I know. Monumental to me. My heart is broken. Her spirit is broken. But the sentencing is behind us. Our time with our niece has been fairly good. She is a tough little girl. A fighter. I'm not sure she understands completely....but it's good. She knows that she's loved and cared for. You'll all never know how much I count on and appreciate your comments and emails. Again, I close with tears in my eyes. Will they ever stop? Thanks for caring and listening.
How exactly is it that you should look into the warm, innocent, brown eyes of a sparkling little girl and tell her that her mother has been taken away to jail "just for a little while....you're a big girl.....you'll be okay." Oh yeah, really? Or how is it that I am supposed to process the picture that I've been replaying over and over in my mind -- the one of actually hearing the words come from the judge's mouth about the jail term allotted to those who need it and then the handcuffs being placed over the wrists of someone who has finally turned their life around and is desperately trying to make a go of it. Only this time, it's my sister. And only this time, I've cried more than you can know. I've blogged about her HERE and HERE and HERE and you really should look back at her story. One straight from the streets of horrible tragedy to a beautifulness of spirit that is stunning.
Today, we travel to Idaho for my sister's sentencing on Thursday morning. And then we'll be the ones there to share with her daughter, our beautiful niece, about her mother's plight. I must admit, this is one of the most difficult things I've ever faced in my life. You hear about things on television, joke about them, and use them for fodder on late-night talk shows -- but, like many things, until it happens to you "in your own backyard," you don't really get its impact. Here, you'll see how it hurts:
Some days, we forget to look around us,
Some days, we can't see the joy that surrounds us,
So caught up inside ourselves,
We take when we should give,
So for tonight we pray for,
What we know can be,
And on this day we hope for,
What we still can't see,
It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though we all can still do more,
There's so much to be thankful for,
Look beyond ourselves,
There's so much sorrow,
It's way to late to say,
I'll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth,
It's so long overdue,
So for tonight we pray for,
What we know can be,
And everyday, we hope for,
What we still can't see,
It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though we all can still do more,
There's so much to be thankful for,
Even with our differences,
There is a place were all connected,
Each of us can find each others light,
So for tonight, we pray for
What we know can be,
And on this day, we hope for,
What we still can't see,
It's up to us, to be the change,
And even though this world can still do so much more
I've just started reading a book that I've had on my bookshelf for a long time. An Hour Before Daylight by Jimmy Carter is a trip down memory lane from his rural boyhood in Georgia. And today, I ran across a scenario that I fell in love with. Let me set up the scene for you: This story is about tramps who would happen along the dirt roads while Jimmy was growing up. The tramps would make stops for food or help at various home along the road.
"When Mama was home we never turned away anyone who came to our back door asking for food or a drink of water....One day the lady from the next farm came to visit, and Mama commented on how many tramps she had helped that week. Mrs. Bacon said, "Well, I'm thankful that they never come in my yard." The next time we had some of the vagrant visitors, Mama asked why they had stopped at our house and not the others. After some hesitation, one of them said, "Ma'am, we have a set of symbols that we use, to show the attitude of each family along the road. the post on your mailbox is marked to say that you don't turn people away or mistreat us." After they were gone, we went out and found some unobtrusive scratches; Mama told us not to change them." -- Jimmy Carter, An Hour Before Daylight
So, I've been considering today who it is that comes to my back door. Not literally, but figuratively. Are there "symbols" on my mailbox that indicate that people are safe to ask me for help? Do I welcome those that struggle? Those who may need a hand up. Being the philosophical soul that I can lapse into from time to time, it's a perfect time of year to be introspective and ask these questions that deserve an answer. Do I turn people away or mistreat them? I'm afraid that the answer hasn't always been as positive as I'd like it to be. But the road of life still runs in front of my house. I hope that the next person who shows up at my back door will receive the help that they need.
